


Robot Boy

by SonataNocturne



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Romance, Slash, Smut, sad beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-02-12 23:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 71,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12970740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonataNocturne/pseuds/SonataNocturne
Summary: Mike is feeling lost when his whole world is crashing down. He is pining over Chester and makes the mistake he shouldn't have had made. But then it isn't the end he thinks it is...





	1. Replacing this pain with something numb

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the journey.

He didn't feel like himself. Hadn't felt like himself in ages. It wasn't like he was particularly sad. He was just so confused. Beaten down by all of his thoughts that didn't leave him alone. So today he chose to go the park. Problem was that the weather wasn't right for a walk in a park. It was raining really heavily. But he didn't care. He wasn't made of sugar and he needed to drown his thoughts. The feelings that were pushing and pulling him to every direction possible. It wasn't fair that all of this was inside of him needing a release. Which just wasn't there. He felt like screaming but he didn't bother. It wouldn't even change anything.

 

But the rain was purifying. Like acid it poured on him. Burning but yet freezing his skin. He stared at the black sky feeling the salty drops on his face. The city had its ordinary cacophony but he didn't hear it. The rain was so deafening drowning it all under. Watching at lights that were pretty against the night sky, shining in the moist air, made him feel so small.

 

He glanced at the sea. He wanted to travel far away alone. Someday he would. Sea always reminded him of the foreign countries. Looking at it, the water that was dividing continents and lands from each other made him think that maybe there was someone out there that was dealing with the same exact emotions like he was. But the sea was also scary. It was deep and dark and could swallow you whole if you weren't careful. As like his feelings. They were swallowing him. Eating him alive and he couldn't help it.

 

He wanted to conduct and watch his life like a puppet master. To decide what would happen next without feeling it all. Without getting confused and scared. And probably disappointed when he didn't get what he wanted. Cause that was so usual for him. He was famous and he had done lot of work to achive it, but that didn't mean he was happy. He wanted to be happy. Wanted it so badly but there were his doubts and fears preventing it. He could lose it all. All he had now just for pursuing the happiness that he didn't even believe to be out there.

 

So he just contented to what he had now. Controlled his feelings, kept them inside. Being somewhat comfortable but not happy was better than to risk it all. And that was what made him so confused. Few tiny words could get it all going like a chain reaction. Destroying it all, one thing at a time. Finally shredding pieces his whole world like a meaningless piece if paper. Which it wasn't. It had many other people involving and their lives in stake too. He wasn't alone in the world even though it felt like that amongst his feelings. Trying to be strong for the others made him feel heavy.

 

And there he stood. Rainwater was soaking up his clothes making him shiver. He didn't know was it the rain or his tears burning his eyes. But he just stood there. Cause it made him feel alive. At least he felt something even when the cold and wet weren't exactly desirable feelings. The other ones he tried to escape. He loathed them. Wanted them to go away and leave him alone. Hanging his head low he turned around to get back home. A place that didn't feel like home anymore. It felt like a place where he had to be cause that was his life.

 

But then he turned his head back up and saw him standing there. He was as soaked as he was himself and looked as miserable. The cold drops were dripping from the man's lashes and from his lips. It was like staring at the sun. He wanted to look away, but couldn't. The figure parted his lips trying to say something but didn't. It was like some invisible force had stopped him. He felt his stomach lurch. He was speechless. Why was he here too? And how long had he been there staring at him?

 

"What are you doing here?", he asked swallowing all the other questions he had.

 

"I was worried. You didn't answer your phone", the man said staring still straight to his eyes.

 

Oh the phone. Yeah, it had vibrated several times. But he didn't really feel like answering. Cause there were two possibilities that were calling. And he was scared to answer to either of them.

 

"Why are you here?", the questions back at him was like dagger.

 

The man had walked closer to him. So silently that he was almost taken aback. He saw that but the man moved like a wild animal catching his prey. Now he was standing just feet away from him. He could raise his arm and feel the soft skin. To really feel what he always dreamed of.

 

"I needed to clear up my thoughts", he whispered back. He wanted the water to wash away his words.

 

"Did it work?", another question from those soft lips.

 

"No. Not really", he swallowed hard not wanting to reveal anything of himself.

 

The man stood still anxious, that was clear. But not as anxious as he was. They stood there staring each other in the eyes not budging. Only blinking cause of the water falling to their faces. It was like the time stood still. All they could feel was the numbing rain. All they could hear was the rain.

 

"Aren't you cold?", more words. The words were caring and warm.

 

"I am", his voice wasn't even a whisper.

 

"Then... why are you still here?", it was like never ending flow. The questions he didn't really know how to answer.

 

"I can't breathe", his voice was suddenly cracking. Not cause of the cold but cause of the beautiful eyes staring at him. They were so oblivious but same time so inquisitive and dismal.

 

And then there was the touch. So delicate that he could have missed it. But it threw an electric shock through his body hitting his every nerve. Making him feel alive. The glint of happiness could have made him smile. But it was deceiving. Even though he felt it he didn't deserve it.

 

"Come home, okay?",he heard the man say. The same one that had a hand on his arm. 

 

Home... The home that he had wasn't the same that the other man had. And the man was happy. And he should be, he had it all. All was perfect in the little world they had.

 

"I don't have a home", he blurted mumbling it out. 

 

The man furrowed his brows. He looked like he was surprised. But there was something else too he couldn't figure out. And there was some sorrow but also lots of confusion. And that he could pick up. It was the one emotion he really was used to.

 

"Can I.... ", the voice that was so familiar to him asked but stopped in the middle of a sentence. The hand on his shoulder was making him shiver.

 

He wanted to say something but he couldn't. It was like the words that he was trying to form were disappearing on his lips. All his senses were focusing to the touch on his shoulder. The long fingers resting on his arm. And the stare. The eyes were burning and invading.

 

"I'm so lost", his voice was bleak. It wasn't something he wanted to confess but there it was. Hanging in the air.

 

He could almost feel the cold metal blade stabbing his innards. Saying it out loud made it hurt even more. It cut so deep. And he wanted to look away from those eyes. But they were captivating him. Like they had always.

 

"Hey... You're really wet and cold you know?", again the voice said. It was like a honey to his ears but so bittersweet.

 

"I don't care", he answered his voice tight and stretched.

 

Suddenly he felt arms around him. He could have broken down then and there. But somehow he still kept himself together.

 

"But I do. Let's go", the voice whispered in his ear.

 

"No. I don't want to go back there", he held his breath. The man was too close. Way too close to him and he felt his walls crack.

 

The other leaned back to look him in the eyes. It wasn't fair that he couldn't have it all.

 

"You can't stay here all night", now the feathery voice came from the lips that were only inches away from his.

 

"I know", the answer rolled from his lips. Just few inches and his world could fall apart.

 

The other man exhaled his breath evaporating already. It felt like the time stood still.

 

"Then what are you waiting for?", the man then said. There. The question that could be answered truthfully but shouldn't be. Lying was so easy.

 

\-----


	2. Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight AU. I decided to not include children cause I just don't know how to write them in.

After the encounter in the park Chester had driven them back to his place. Mike wasn't still talking and he was really reluctant to come with him. But Chester wasn't going to let him stay at the park for God knows how long.

 

"Hey, sorry he just seems to be lost. Couldn't leave him there. Could you call Anna and tell that he is safe and staying here for tonight", he apologized to his wife who came to open the door. Mike had begged him not to drive him back to his own home and he really looked like he needed a friend.

 

"Of course. He looks like shit... I will grab you some towels. The guest room should be clean and ready", Talinda said smiling and keeping rest of his thoughts to himself. He had to talk with Anna about this. It wasn't first time he was seeing Mike in that state.

 

Mike heard the bitterness in Talinda's voice but he was so exhausted that he couldn't say anything. And what was the point anyway.

 

"Is he drunk? Grab a bucket too then", the woman sighed.

 

"No, I don't think so", Chester shook his head leading the emcee to the guest room supporting him. He knew Talinda too well knowing she wasn't intentionally rude but it felt like it.

 

They were leaving puddles on the floor which made Talinda groan. She got few giant towels to his husband and the emcee and headed then back to her glass of wine and a sitcom. First free night in ages and of course this had to happen. And it wasn't like she was angry. But she was annoyed and also worried. Mike was still family so she just couldn't not let his husband help him.

 

Chester took the leather jacket off from the emcee and wrapped him then in the towel. Then he crouched to pull his shoes off too.

 

Whole this time Mike was trying to swallow his tears. Chester was too kind again and it broke his heart. He drew a sharp breath when he felt the fingers on his collarbones when the singer was wrapping the towel around him.

 

"It isn't good to hold it all in you know. It will drown you", Chester sighed.

 

Oh I know. But it can drown everybody else too, the emcee thought turning his head.

 

Chester continued his drying not bothering to care about himself and his expensive jacket that shouldn't even be wet.

 

"Please. Tell me what is wrong. If it is family issue we can handle it. If you're sick we can handle it. If it is cause of Anna we can handle that too", the singer said his voice almost desperate.

 

Yes those we can. But not this, Mike bit his lip closing his eyes.

 

"No", he whimpered feeling the tears run down his face.

 

"Mike please", the singer was pleading so close to his face that he felt the warm breath on his skin. His made his hairs stand up and all of his senses heighten.

 

Then he opened his eyes to stare at Chester's dark pools that he had dreamed so many nights. Now they were begging to know what was wrong. Feeling his heart burst he inhaled and pressed his lips to Chester's. The kiss lasted maybe just a few seconds but it felt like an eternity. He pulled back when his brains started to function again and he finally realized what he had just done. What he shouldn't have done.

 

The singer gazed at him a while before almost stumbling on his own feet and backing away and then running out of the room. The expression Chester had had on his face Mike knew well. It was pure panic that horrified him. 

 

Then the walls came crashing down and it started to sink in. What had he just done? He wanted to run but if he did Talinda would get suspicious and ask Chester what was wrong. Then she would call Anna and she would kill him. But what if Chester tells to Talinda anyway? They will laugh, of course they will. And then the rest would find out and...

 

He fell on the bed pulling the pillow on his face before wailing in it. Why the hell did he do it? He couldn't hold it in any longer in but he could have done something else. Like lie that there was something else wrong. Or anything. Maybe he would just wake up tomorrow noticing it had all been just a dream? Crying himself to sleep he held to that thought.

 

\----

 

Next morning he woke up to the daylight burning his eyelids. He sat up and noticed he had still the same clothes on but now mostly dried up. He got up and grabbed his shoes and jacket and tiptoed downstairs. In the kitchen he saw a note that was left for him.

 

We are doing some grocery shopping. Please help yourself some breakfast. Coffee is in the thermos bottle, it said in Chester's hand writing.

 

Mike felt like a something was stuck in his throat. He had been so naive for hoping it had been just a bad dream. Maybe the singer had left cause he didn't want to see his face. Probably repulsed by his actions. He should explain later. Pretend it didn't mean anything. Pretend that he wasn't crazy in love with his best friend that was married.

 

Swallowing hard he grabbed a mug and poured some coffee to it. And then went to get a yoghurt from the fridge. Chester had always his favorite ones. Cause that was what he was like. Always making sure everyone was happy and comfortable. Happy... A word he loathed so much nowadays.

 

Then he searched for his phone which had survived all the water apparently and looked at the screen. 35 missed calls. 27 from Anna and rest from Chester. And a bunch of text messages which he didn't even bother to read. He send a message to his wife writing that he is fine and would be home soon. Another word he loathed. It would be a place for people where they wanted to go. Safe heaven from all that was going outside. But he hated it. His house was beautiful and well decorated. It was warm and clean. But all the feelings were missing. He could look his wife straight into her eyes and feel nothing except self loathing, fear and immorality.

 

He drank the coffee quickly and placed the empty yoghurt jar to trash and headed out. He had walked to the park so he had to walk to home too. The weather was already better which he was glad cause he didn't want to get wet again. Drooping his head low he chose the shortest route.

 

"I'm home!", he yelled when he opened the door ignoring the word. Anna came rushing down his eyes wide open with the relief.

 

"I was so scared that something had happened! Why didn't you answer your phone?", she hung herself around his neck.

 

"Nothing happened, I'm fine", he mumbled barely hugging the woman back. Yeah, keep telling yourself that, his mind reminded himself.

 

"Talinda called me and said that you were a mess. Care to explain that?", she asked.

 

"No. I'm fine. And off to shower now", he said pushing the woman aside walking away.

 

Anna furrowed her brows watching his husband as he went. Something was off but she knew she couldn't force him talk.

 

Mike rushed to the bathroom locking it behind him. He wanted to scrub himself clean quickly. All he could think now was rain and how it smelled on his clothes and skin. And that reminded him off Chester and the kiss. Thinking that made him nauseated. Well not the kiss to be exact but the look in Chester's face after it. He knew it was a huge mistake but seeing that reflect back from the eyes of the man he loved was just crushing him. Stripping quickly he got under the stream of the hot water and made sure to stay there long enough. He would need an ocean to wash all of his feelings away but steaming hot water and soap would have to do for now.

 

"Are you sure your fine? I was really worried you know", Anna was asking with a thin voice when he got out from the bathroom.

 

"Yes. Just needed some time to think. I am sorry that I didn't answer the phone", he sighed. No reason to make his wife more worried or even suspicious. Like she would even believe if he told to his face that he had just kissed his bandmate.

 

"Okay", Anna sighed twiddling with her hair. She was still worried.

 

He walked to the bedroom trying to find something to wear.

 

Mike's phone started to play familiar tunes and groaning he picked it up. He wanted to throw the freaking thing to a wall. Not good time, he certainly didn't want to be social now.

 

"Brad, what's up? Oh... Shit. No I just didn't remember. Yeah yeah yeah, of course. See you soon", he talked with his guitarist. 

 

He forgot they had studio day today. Quickly he pulled some clothes on and ran downstairs. They had just started to write a new album. And now he was even more anxious. He couldn't remember was Chester even scheduled to be with the, in studio but maybe he wasn't since he didn't say anything in the note.

 

"I totally forgot that we were supposed to meet in the studio", he groaned frustrated to his wife an started to search for the car keys. They never were where they were supposed to be!

 

"I don't think it is a good idea Mike. Talinda seemed really worried yesterday. Even though you seemed to be fine now I do believe when she...", Anna started.

 

"Don't give me that bullshit. You know I don't care what she thinks. I said I am fine. And even if I weren't I can't just not go. And that you know too", Mike groaned. Talinda this and that. He knew she was good friends with Anna but he didn't need a reminder of it all the time.

 

"Right", his wife rolled his eyes and turned on her heels.

 

Mike dropped his head frustrated and grabbed the car keys that he had finally found walking outside the house and to his car. He didn't want to make her angry or sad but he couldn't help it. Now he just needed to talk with Chester before it all would fall apart. And figure out something so he wouldn't pour it on his poor wife who certainly didn't deserve it.

 

\-----


	3. 'Cause when our heads betray our hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roller coaster, yay! Lol.

Mike arrived at the studio not in time as he should have but in time that the others weren't mad yet. Joe and Rob synthetic studio as they weren't even supposed to be but Brad and Dave sat at the front of the mixing table looking not particularly annoyed but just bored. Chester was no where to be seen which was a huge relief for the half Asian.

 

"Are you fine?", Brad had noticed the weird tone on his friends voice already in the phone.

 

"Yeah yeah... Just had an argument with Anna. Where were we at?", he brushed the comment off. He couldn't tell the truth so he didn't even bother lie further.

 

Brad explained him where they were trying to to get the emcee's mind focus. He was obviously distracted but Brad didn't want to push it.

 

Soon they were all driven by the music they were creating. Or at least trying to since they were really only at the beginning. Few songs needed some singing, but the lyrics weren't even ready yet.

 

At lunch time Dave yawned and got up to get some coffee. They were already exhausted by all the thinking but Mike was so glad cause it was distracting him from all the other thoughts. His mind started to go on how stupid he had been but next Brad pointed out a part of lyric and it was all forgotten.

 

But then the door swung open and the singer stepped in. Looking so damn good that it made Mike's stomach ache.

 

"Sorry I am so late. We went to see Talinda's friend and you know how the women are", he rolled his eyes smirking.

 

Of course it was Talinda that had caused it. Didn't surprise Mike at all. He was so jealous that it made him angry but instead of stomping out from the studio he just turned around back to the table. And Chester tossed his bag on the floor and sat beside them like nothing had happened. Which made him even more angry. "How dare he!", the emcee thought. It sure was Mike's mistake but he could at least nodded to him. Or texted that he was coming and all is fine. Or that he hated him and didn't want to see him ever again. But nothing, it was like nothing had ever happened. And it sure did happen. Mike could still feel the electricity and the softness of the kiss that was so short. Which made him only think about longer kiss. How could have it been like. Maybe light touch on the cheek or a hand traveled under Chester's shirt...

 

"Mike!", Brad broke the daydream.

 

"Dude, where the fuck are you. It's like you're floating somewhere high above", the guitarist frowned and pointed at the paper making sure the emcee saw now what they were talking about.

 

Now Mike tried to focus. In the corner of his eye he saw the singer drink his takeaway coffee and answer to Brad's questions. And again he was alone, deep inside.

 

"So maybe we should try some vocals on this and then decide how we should go from there. I don't feel the lyrics are done like that but... Will see", Mike said after a while of talking with the others.

 

He let Chester have the paper with the lyrics and watched him to go to the vocal booth. Not like he hadn't seen the walk before but he just loved it. The way the singer hung his head when he was reading the lyrics trying to feel them. And the way he straightened his shirt when he was walking. Like he was trying to prepare himself for something bigger.

 

Dave headed to another room to focus to other stuff while Mike adjusted some things before giving Chester permission to sing. And then he closed his eyes to enjoy the voice. Same voice that made him happy and sad. Angry yet peaceful. A voice that made his blood boil and shivers travel through him. Then it was over and the voice asked how was it.

 

"Could you push more force into the endings?", Mike said to the mic feeling his throat tighten.

 

The singer nodded and they continued. But after ten takes Mike wasn't still happy and Chester started to get frustrated. It wasn't probably even the final lyrics and there he was repeating them over and over again.

 

"I think that was good, right?", he asked when he had once again finished singing.

 

"Yes. But not perfect. Again", Mike said absentmindedly. His mind was yelling him to stop: "It's getting ridiculous and leads to nowhere". But he couldn't stop.

 

Chester sighed and started again. After few more takes Brad raised his brows. He was now noticing the tension and Chester getting more and more annoyed.

 

"Mike, I think that was enough already. We aren't even certain are the lyr...", the singer said now his voice tight with anger.

 

"No. Again", Mike shook his head. It wasn't enough. It couldn't be enough.

 

"Mike what the fuck is wrong with you!", Chester dropped his headphones and stormed back to the monitor room.

 

Which was cue for Brad to follow Dave to the other room. Mike waited for the door to click closed.

 

"It wasn't good enough", Mike stood up and waved his hands in the air.

 

"No, it was! There was many versions that were good enough! But it isn't even final lyrics!", the singer yelled to him.

 

"Okay! I'm angry. You just came here like nothing happened. You could have said that you hate me and don't want to see me again. Or that we can forget it. Or that you don't want to talk about it. But instead you don't say anything. I know I messed up! You don't have to remind me of that but at least say something!", the half Asian was now yelling back equally frustrated.

 

"So you mess up and then you take it back on me?! I was going to talk about it but not today, not here for fuck's sake!", the angry singer pushed him back against the wall which startled the emcee. What the fuck is this now?, he thought.

 

"So talk now. Say that you hate me, say it! And don't fucking dare to pretend that it didn't make you feel anything", Mike tried to push him back but Chester didn't budge. He was pinning him to the wall by his shoulders his big brown eyes filled with anger and frustration.

 

But Mike could have never be prepared to what the singer did next. He waited a punch, a scream or even him to just turn around on his heels but instead Chester pushed his lips on his roughly making him yelp with surprise. The kiss was so hungry that Mike didn't know what to think. His mind was total whirlwind now. After the singer pulled back he was gasping for air baffled.

 

"The fuck", was only thing he managed to say while swallowing hard.

 

"See. I don't hate you", Chester murmured.

 

"If that is pity talking save it for someone else cause I don't want it", Mike narrowed his eyes. It couldn't be anything else than some sort of twisted pity, he thought.

 

"No. I... love you. Have loved you since... well I don't know. Some years", the singer dropped the bomb. Mike felt like someone had just driven over him.

 

"Why haven't...", his mouth was like sandpaper.

 

"I don't know. Guess when you have been married long enough you feel like you can't divorce. I thought about it. But then I didn't know why would I just take such a big leap maybe for nothing and leave a miserable woman behind. And destroy it all cause of something so... well I thought it was a little thing. Just a crush or so cause we spent so much time together. I started to think that maybe we just had grown attached. But then I couldn't stop thinking about you and I have tried to bury it ever since. I never thought you could feel the same. Oh wait... That was what I interpreted the kiss to be. Feelings towards me, right? Please say that I just didn't pour my heart out for nothing", the singer explained and cringed then.

 

"No, that's exactly what I feel. Fuck, this is so messed up! It could all be so much easier if...", the emcee groaned.

 

"Without Talinda and Anna?", Chester asked.

 

"Well I was going to say that if humans started to talk and express their feelings more but you're right there too", Mike laughed sarcastically.

 

Then knock on the interrupted them and Chester backed away quickly.

 

"We'll talk later, okay? Let's just finish the day and please don't make me sing the fucking lines again!", he then groaned waving for Brad that he could enter the room.

 

Mike was so gobsmacked that he really would have wanted to be alone for a while but he also knew that running out would just raise more questions so he decided to push it back down and focus to the music. Watching the singer sit down calmly with the other two made him think that why he couldn't be like him. Obviously the situation was equally bad for both but the singer didn't show it. He just build up a wall. Which was now the easiest thing, despite what he had just said few minutes ago. And then looking at those partly closed eyes when Chester was thinking hard and trying to really feel the lyrics he shivered.

 

Brad was baffled why the sudden screaming had changed to this working together calmly. The tension was still there but it was different and not as tearing like before. He wanted to ask what had happened but felt like it wasn't good idea.

 

And Chester was thinking the same thing as he did yesterday: How the fuck did I end up in this situation. He had suppressed his feelings so long and suddenly the other man had kissed him. Which pushed him almost over the edge but somehow he still managed to stay sane. Late at night in bed he had tried not to look too concerned or too anxious. Cause he had seen a glimpse of something lovely which didn't include his wife. The woman who was reading book next to him. 

 

And when Talinda kissed him goodnight he hoped more than ever that she wouldn't soon start to kiss his jawline and neck what she always did when she was in the mood for sex. He couldn't think about anything else than the particular emcee that was sleeping just above their bedroom. Next morning when Talinda had asked when would Mike leave he wanted to yell her to shut up. Which wasn't like him, at all. And it wasn't even bad thing to say.

 

But the tone... It told everything she felt right then. It wasn't "I hate him, why doesn't he leave already", but more like "What is he doing here. He has his own home and wife who waits him". He had asked what Anna had said when Talinda called her but got only eye roll and "What do you think" back. Which basically meant that Mike's wife was bothered and enraged and Chester figured out that also humiliated that Mike hadn't went home but instead let the singer help him.

 

"So will continue from here tomorrow", Brad placed his pen down like ending a conversation.

 

"I'm not coming tomorrow but I think Rob is also supposed to be here?", Dave stood up stretching.

 

"Yeah, we'll see you in few days", Chester nodded and let the bassist leave.

 

"I think we will stay here for a while with Mike and try to get lyrics right", Chester tried not to mumble.

 

"Okay, well I'll be here around 9 AM. Please don't be late tomorrow", Brad handed the key to Mike staring straight to his eyes receiving a smile and nod.

 

"Lyrics huh?", Mike started when the door closed behind them. He couldn't help it, but he was still slightly pissed.

 

"I think we needed to talk it through without interruptions", the singer sighed.

 

"Right... Okay. So....", the half Asian didn't really know what to even say. Like what ever he would say seemed wrong.

 

"I just can't let it go. Especially now when I know I'm not alone with my feelings", Chester mumbled rubbing his temples.

 

"But... Really we can't even like... I don't even know what you want. But there's the band and our wives and... Oh my god this is such a huge mess", he continued groaning.

 

"Tell me about it. Why do you think I was standing alone in the park yesterday?", Mike rolled his eyes.

 

"Really? Cause of me?", the singer frowned.

 

"Yeah well... More like would I throw it all away to make a move or would it be better to just stay miserable", he turned his gaze to look at his shoes. "Yay, nice shoes. Stop it", his mind was mocking.

 

"Is that what you really have been? Miserable?", Chester inhaled sharply. Surprises that weren't really surprises.

 

"Since I realized my feelings towards you I haven't been able to be happy. Cause I feel nothing. Except when I'm with you", the emcee gulped leaning back on his chair.

 

Chester wanted to smile but it wasn't really how he should react to that. The emcee had really done good job hiding it all.

 

"Guess we just need to move on. But I'm still glad that you know now. Sharing a secret with someone is way better than dealing with it alone", Chester muttered.

 

"Guess so", Mike heard his voice say even though when his mind was screaming: NO!

 

\-----


	4. What more can I say?

Almost week had gone. Chester wasn't anymore sure his decision had been a good one. It had felt like one then. Working with the emcee was harder than ever and Chester was growing desperate. Part of him wished that Mike would have never kissed him and the other part that he hadn't made that decision to move on. Guilt was already chewing him up and they had only kissed, twice. But he couldn't control his thoughts. Looking Mike's long fingers around the neck of the guitar or hearing the laughter that brightened the whole room was causing him physical pain. He was lucky that they were practically never alone. Even now Brad was just across the room.

 

And Mike wasn't happy at the situation at all. He couldn't understand why he hadn't said something when the singer had suggested that they move on. How the hell I am supposed to forget my feelings?, he thought. But then he got home back to his wife and just felt so bad. So being miserable it is.

 

Chester was toying with some ideas on guitar while Mike was pushing a beat together. Then his ears heard something interesting and he had to turn around to listen.

 

"Play that again", he said staring at Chester who had hunched over the guitar.

 

The singer glanced up and nodded. Mike thought the melody was beautiful but there was something not quite right. He pushed his chair forward and got closer to the singer. After watching closely for a while he finally got one of Chester's fingers and placed it to another fret.

 

"There, try now again like that", he nodded.

 

But Chester had already forgotten what he was playing. Now he just stared at the emcee mouth open feeling his finger burn from the touch.

 

"Shit", Mike mumbled and rolled his chair back to the mixing table biting his lip.

 

"Sorry", he heard the singer say quietly.

 

"I think I would have been supposed to say that", Mike sighed. No touching, Mike. No touching. That is going to be hard, he reminded himself.

 

Chester glanced at Brad to see what he was doing before talking again. He wanted to be sure that he wouldn't hear their talk. Luckily the guitarist had headphones on and was concentrating to his guitar. Then he walked slowly next to Mike leaning to the table. No idea does Brad lip reading, but now he can't, he thought.

 

"I think we should talk again", the singer said startling Mike. The emcee turned to look at him and furrowed his brows.

 

"I think... The decision was hasty", Chester sighed fiddling with the guitar strings.

 

"Well what else do you suggest? It isn't like...", the emcee groaned not even knowing what to say. He was beyond frustrated. Feeling in between of his feelings and what he was supposed to do.

 

"I don't fucking know. I really don't Mike. All I know that sitting here watching you and not being able to touch you kills me", Chester swallowed hard glancing over the guitarist who still didn't pay attention to his surroundings.

 

Even hearing that made Mike's stomach feel funny. He couldn't believe that they were having similar feelings but couldn't do anything. Is this really the life I want to live, his mind was asking from him.

 

"You know what I mean. Like really touch you. Either it gets awkward or... other type of awkward", the singer interpreted Mike's silence wrong.

 

"I know. I was... thinking about the same thing", Mike sighed slowly reaching his hand to Chester's entwining their fingers together. The singer gulped when he felt the touch. This is so, so unfair, he thought.

 

Suddenly the guitarist stood up and they broke the moment before it could have even start properly. Mike cleared his throat trying to think where he had been before the whole thing.

 

"So what's up with the one you're toying with?", Brad asked leaning to look at the screen.

 

"Nah, don't know. But Chester came up with a nice melody on guitar. Will see if something comes out of that", the emcee shook his hand still trying to focuses to the screen and not the singer standing still so close to him.

 

"Great. Well I'm off to grab the lunch, what do you want?", the guitarist smiled.

 

"Same what you take", Mike mumbled.

 

"I'll take the same as last time", Chester tried not to stare Mike's neck and the soft hairs that he wanted to touch.

 

Brad nodded and headed out leaving them alone. Chester bit his lip and wondered what would he say. Mike stared still at the screen not really seeing it. Just trying to ignore his thoughts.

 

"You know... I think we have already crossed the line", Chester sighed and stared at the emcee who had now turned his gaze off from the screen. 

 

Mike swallowed feeling something stuck in his throat. He wished there wouldn't even be any lines to cross. Chester glanced at the door and climbed then on Mike's lap straddling him.

 

"I just want to feel you", the singer murmured placing his warm hands on Mike's throat. He had wanted to feel the tanned skin so long without thinking afterwards was it too obvious or could he had kept his hand longer there.

 

Mike stared at Chester feeling his heart skip a beat. The fingers on his sensitive skin was such a wonderful feeling. After hesitating a little he let his hands travel under Chester's shirt to feel his spine and tight back muscles. Equally wonderful feeling, especially when the singer shivered slightly on his lap. The dark pools were staring back at him like asking is this real what they were doing. The singer breathed heavily before leaning in and pushing his luscious lips to Mike's. The emcee was taken aback but pulled the other closer soon. Feeling Chester's tongue push between his lips made him whimper. The singer leaned on him forcefully cupping his cheeks. Mike tasted so good, so different. He wanted to feel and taste more.

 

"Fuck, stop...", Mike whimpered amongst the kisses when the sexual arousal hit him. Brad would be back anytime now. This is so wrong. So so wrong, his mind was screaming.

 

Chester pulled back taking sharp shallow breaths and Mike could see the lust in his eyes.

 

"You feel amazing", the singer whispered still keeping his hands on Mike's cheeks.

 

"So do you", the emcee muttered back staring at Chester.

 

"Brad will be back soon", he continued sighing.

 

"I know", the singer answered but couldn't move. It was like Mike was holding him under a spell.

 

"We really can't explain this", Mike shook his head still staring at the singer. He wanted to drown in those eyes.

 

"Fuck. I know", the singer grunted and crawled from Mike's lap. He would have wanted to stay there. Even though he knew it wasn't going to happen.

 

"Besides you are heavy. My legs hurt", Mike grinned.

 

"Am not!", the singer laughed slapping at his head playfully.

 

Almost the same time they heard the outdoor close clanking. They glanced at each other Mike eyes wide and Chester rolling them. Too fucking close, Mike thought turning back to the mixing board and wondering how he would explain the lack of progress if Brad happens to ask. But he didn't. He brought their foods in front of them chatting about something he had talked with Phoenix over the phone. He didn't even realize something had happened which was huge relief for Mike. He glanced at Chester like telling him: We were so lucky and the singer just shrugged winking his eye. Which made Mike smile even though it annoyed the hell out of him. They were being stupid and reckless and it could have bit their asses so easily.

 

Rest of the day went rather easily. Chester could still feel the kiss on his lips and taste Mike in his mouth even after the spicy noodle dish. He wanted to push Brad out of the door and continue the kiss but that wasn't a good idea. His ideas had lately been really bad. Mike had gotten some excellent tunes created and they were thrilled. Rob and Dave would join them again the next day and Joe later that week so having something to show to them was good.

 

"See you tomorrow", Mike nodded for Brad who waved his hand for good bye and got into his car. Then he glanced at Chester and felt a sting in his heart. The singer got on the driver's seat and sighed heavily. Back to their own private lives. He wanted to hate it but it made him feel so bad even thinking it like that.

 

At home Talinda was greeting him cheerfully. She didn't even ask how had the day been, she know he would tell if there was something worth telling. The thought made him cringe. But then he felt the warm fuzzy feeling and the cringe turned into a smile. They ate and then she headed to do some laundry and he sat down to check the social media.

 

At Mike's house the atmosphere was similar. He couldn't stop thinking about Chester even when Anna hugged him and brought a warm dinner in front of him. Frustrated cause of the situation he didn't want to talk. It would just lead to an argument so he stayed silent only answering to the questions his wife made. Then he let her to clean the table and went to take a shower. After that he laid on their bed groaning and reached out his phone. Notification from Chester was the first thing he noticed.

 

"Great day today in studio. I think we are on to something", he had wrote on Twitter about half an hour ago.

 

Mike felt himself grinning and texted to the singer:

 

On to something? Really ;D

 

It took only half a minute for Chester to answer:

Well it is true isn't it? Haha

 

Mike: You're such a tease

Chester: Sure I am....

Mike: Hope you have password protected phone.

Chester: Hey you're talking to Chester Bennington, sure I have. Wait... What's in your dirty mind?

Mike: Didn't mean it like that

Chester: Sure you didn't.

Mike: Fuck off

Chester: Hahahaha. Really, I was just about to go to sleep. But you know your text made me smile :)

Mike: Good. Wasn't really my intention but thinking about you smiling makes me smile. But good night. We'll see tomorrow.

Chester: Yeah :) Sleep well <3

 

"Why are you smiling like a crazy person?", Anna happened to stumble in the room just when he tossed his phone aside.

 

"Nothing. Just a joke", Mike answered and went to pull his pajama pants on instead of the towel still hanging on his hips. 

 

She didn't answer and just pulled the covers off and crawled in the bed. Mike followed her soon and tossed the covers on them. After a while she sighed and turned the lamp off.

 

"Night", she whispered snaking a hand over his chest.

 

"Night", he answered knowing it wasn't enough. It could never be.

 

\-----


	5. When tomorrow disappears

Next day they were in the studio, surprise. Chester was dead tired cause he couldn't sleep last night. So much thoughts spinning in his head. He felt like he was staring at wall that he couldn't go around, over or under. And turning around wasn't option either. At least not a good one. Glaring at Mike he guessed he felt same. But there they were. Stuck. Today Chester was especially annoyed cause all except Joe were in the studio. Seemed like the air wasn't enough for all of them. But now they had a record to make so instead he was trying to pour his feelings there. Not really succeeding. His brains were like mush and the others had noticed it.

 

"Chester you can go back to home if you feel like you can't get anything out", Brad raised his eyebrows.

 

"No", the singer answered. He was beyond frustrated and still didn't know what to do.

 

"No what?", Brad sighed.

 

"No I won't. I don't want to go home and do nothing. It rather stay here and at least try. Besides you were getting to somewhere again, right?", Chester groaned.

 

Going home was now the last thing he wanted to do. Then he would be apart from the emcee and couldn't still progress. And this. It was tearing him apart. He was feeling he was loosing his mind but maybe he really was.

 

"Could you at least leave the groaning to the vocal booth? That is getting annoying", the guitarist rolled his eyes.

 

The singer had been pain in the ass for days already and it didn't seem to end soon. Brad was planning on asking what was the problem if he wouldn't stop it soon.

 

Mike was watching them without saying anything. He could feel how tense the singer was. But he knew there was no real solution to that. Not a simple one.

 

"Can I grab you some coffee?", Mike asked rolling his chair backwards.

 

Just a glance at Mike made him calmer. He saw from Mike's expression that the emcee knew how he felt. So instead of groaning again he nodded and tried to smile. At least they were in the same boat. The emcee nodded and stood up to get some coffee for them. But before that he gave a smile that lit the whole room up. Just for Chester. Who felt his heart melt. It was like a promise that everything would get better if he would just be patient.

 

"I think we need to try some vocals again. It could make it more clearer", Dave pointed out.

 

"For the chorus?", the singer glanced at the paper. The song was forming nicely even though he hadn't really participated. But, they didn't have any words, again.

 

"Well, yeah", Brad waved his hand.

 

"Be frustrated in the vocal booth", the guitarist grinned receiving and eye roll back.

 

Mike got back just in time and handed the coffee to the singer. Chester took the cup and sipped the hot liquid before heading to the booth. The decorative lights around the studio and otherwise dim light were setting a nice atmosphere. Mike's idea, of course.

 

"So what's up with him?", Brad cleared his throat.

 

"Huh?", Mike heard it and knew what the guitarist was talking about but he pretended he didn't. It wasn't like he could honestly answer to the question so he rather tired to avoid the whole conversation.

 

"Chester. Our singer. What's up with him? First it was you who was weird and then you had the talk. But now he is more weird that before that. You know? You must have noticed it? He is really tense. Like...", Brad waved his hands in the air.

 

"Don't know. Maybe he has some same family thing", Mike mumbled looking at the singer who was putting his headphones on.

 

He was so beautiful. Again the concentrated look like he was preparing for a big show. Mike gave him the permission and leaned back to watch. The calm, concentrated look changed soon when the singer bursted in to screaming. Words were coming out of his mouth but Mike didn't even pay attention to them. He watched carefully the facial expressions and the vein in the singer's forehead. And the hands that gripped to the headphones and he felt his skin get goosebumps.

 

"Mike! What the fuck?", Brad slapped his head suddenly.

 

"What?!", he snapped making Rob flinch in his chair. He never snapped. Never.

 

Brad furrowed his browns.

 

"Sorry", Mike sighed apologizing mostly for Rob. Then he got an eye contact with Chester. The singer had seen it and looked worried.

 

"I was talking to you long time, and you ignored me totally", Brad explained himself then.

 

"Sorry. Again. I was trying to listen the singing", Mike mumbled. This was getting out of hand.

 

"Right... I was just saying that maybe he has issues back home and could use some help. So maybe talk to him again?", the guitarist repeated what he had said before.

 

"Okay. I will", the emcee sighed and nodded for Chester that he could come back.

 

Yeah talk, sounds good. Except that it didn't went well last time either, he thought.

 

"How was it?", the singer came back. But his face expression was more like 'What happened? Why Mike snapped like that?'"

 

"Great. Have no idea what the words actually were but it sounded really good", Dave spoke. He hadn't really payed attention to anything else but the singing.

 

Mike was about to agree but he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

 

"Sorry. It's Anna", he sighed and went to speak to the other room.

 

"Hi Anna. Yes we are. Oh... Of course it's fine. Sure I can. Okay, thanks. Yup, bye", he spoke to his wife on the other end briefly and walked back to the others.

 

"Apparently her scheduled trip to her friend is starting earlier. She is leaving today already", Mike told what they had talked.

 

The others nodded, shrugged and then they got back to work.

 

"So I was going to say that the singing was really good", Mike told to the singer who was writing now on his phone something.

 

"Yeah... It was just some stream", the singer mumbled smiling slightly and pushed his phone back to his pocket.

 

Almost at same time Mike felt his phone vibrate again. Now only short one, a text message. He frowned and grabbed his phone.

 

"That means you're alone then", it was Chester.

 

He already knew where this was getting to. Which made him excited, happy, anxious and sad at the same time.

 

"And that means you want to come over", he answered.

 

"Yes please", Chester had a devilish grin on his lips when he saw Mike read that text message.

 

Mike sighed, bit his lip and tried to focus to the song. It took all of his strength to not think too much. Bad, bad idea. But how could he say no to the man he had loved for god knows how long?

 

The last hours went by more quicker than ever and they actually had almost a ready song.

 

"Should I drive behind you or should we grab your car?", Chester asked when they closed the studio door.

 

"Ummmm... Let's just take mine if you're fine with that", the emcee mumbled. He was super nervous and didn't know what to say.

 

"You know this is a really bad idea?", Mike sighed when they finally parked by his house.

 

"And do you know that it is also inevitable?", the singer cocked his head when they walked into the house.

 

"How do you do that?", Mike asked and went to read a note he noticed Anna had left for him.

 

"Do what?", the singer got confused pulling his shoes off.

 

"You just shake it off. All the consequences", the other man rubbed his temples. He felt horrible. Even though they were in the same boat it didn't erase all the other people off.

 

"I don't. I just have had the battle with myself years ago. So I don't really want to do it again, even though I know you're hurt", Chester stepped closer to him to grab his shoulder.

 

Just such a small touch was making him feel so good. He could finally be with Mike. Even just some hours alone was better than nothing at all.

 

"Besides.. Does it really hurt if a person doesn't know about it?", he mumbled.

 

"Right. Sorry. I do love you, but you know how this has changed. Before I could only dream about this. But now when it is possible I just...", Mike groaned.

 

"Got cold feet. I know", the singer nodded pushing him against the kitchen counter.

 

And staring at those beautiful eyes made all Mike's hesitation disappear. If it felt that good compared how miserable he normally was it couldn't be wrong. Chester had his hand on his cheek stroking it softly. The electricity in the room was making Mike tense. He waited for the other man act first cause he really didn't know what to do, or what they were going to do. 

 

But when Chester inhaled and pressed his lips to his it wasn't even a surprise. He had waited for it. And wanted for so long. The few brief kisses before were so quick and nervous that he hadn't really thought about them really. But now Chester's lips were on his again. Hungrily the singer pushed his tongue between his lips making the half Asian shiver. Mike was pleading for the other man to hold him tighter, closer. Without any words the singer guessed it so he pulled the other man against him making Mike wrap his arms around him.

 

Feeling the singer so close was something he could have never imagined. He had dreamed of it so many times, but it was even better now when it was really happening. His heart was beating out of his chest and he felt like all the air in the room disappeared. The muscles in the singer's back were tense when Mike traveled his fingers to his shoulder blades. Chester was nibbling his lower lip and sending shivers down his spine.

 

"What are we doing....", Mike breathed when the singer pulled away to catch his breath.

 

"I just want to feel you... All of you", Chester grabbed the hair of the emcee tilting his head to get better access to the neck. Like that he was able to place his hungry mouth just below Mike's beard placing wet kisses there, nibbling and licking.

 

"That's not fair. You don't have any hair where I could pull", Mike groaned which changed to a moan when Chester pulled his hair harder.

 

He had never been pulled by the hair, but now he was thinking it might be his 'thing'. Or it could be just Chester who was making him feel this way. The singer pushed himself harder against him, like there was any room to do it anymore, grinding to him.

 

"Shit Chester... That...", Mike gulped feeling Chester's hard on through their pants.

 

His mouth was still warm and demanding on his neck and hands groping his ass. Mike's breathing was already erratic and he was afraid he would pass out. He felt like he had been lost so long and finally found. Chester mouth had reached the collar of his shirt himself feeling frustrated that the fabric was on the way.

 

"Ummmmmm....", Mike blushed when the singer grabbed the hem of his shirt to pull it off.

 

"Still cold feet?", Chester grinned tilting his head. His eyes were sparkling wonderfully.

 

"Well that too kinda but we are in the kitchen still. And the curtains are open. And lights are on", Mike laughed.

 

"Oh... Right", the singer laughed pulling away from the emcee and grabbed him with him.

 

Chester couldn't keep his mouth away from the half Asian so they stumbled awkwardly further while he was smashing their lips together again. Mike was surprised how roughly the singer pushed him further and here and there against a wall when they didn't look around. He had his hands on Chester's small waist digging his thumb into the flesh. Tearing Mike's shirt off Chester soon had his hands on his bare chest. Now he was the one feeling breathless. Finally able to touch the emcee's bare skin properly. His tight chest and soft skin felt amazing under his fingers.

 

"Oh my god... Ches...", Mike felt his eyes widen when the singer started to undo his pants. We are really doing this. Like, really, he thought trying to push every other thing on his mind aside.

 

When they got to the corridor where the master bedroom was Mike stopped. Don't think about it, don't think about, he repeated in his mind.

 

"Yeah... Not there", he cringed and guided the singer to the direction of the guest room.

 

When they got there Chester just pushed Mike on the bed crawling then on top of him. Mike squirmed under him. Not wanting to get away, just anxious and overwhelmed.

 

"You really have no idea how long I have been wanting to do this to you", he whispered on Mike's ear his voice vibrating heavenly before heading down to taste his smooth chest.

 

In the meantime Mike pulled Chester's shirt off wanting to see all of him. Which revealed the tattoos that he had always found mesmerizing. While staring at the tensing muscles on Chester's upper body he couldn't help but to smile. Then he gasped when the singer's warm mouth had trailed down to the edge of his pants. It didn't take much effort from Chester to pull his pants down with the boxers.

 

Chester stared straight into his eyes and Mike was just about to ask was the singer really sure about all of this when Chester took his growing arousal into his hot mouth. The emcee inhaled and threw his head back. Chester's mouth was amazing so he just closed his eyes enjoying the treatment. The wet heat swallowing him further and further made him groan. His fingers were digging into his waist pinning him down making sure he wouldn't escape. Like he would even want to.

 

"I... it doesn't take long till I....", Mike breathed which made the singer halt.

 

The sudden cold air on his member was disappointing but then he saw that the singer was taking of his own pants.

 

"You are so beautiful", Chester smiled to him.

 

"I was just thinking about the same thing about you", Mike whispered staring at the now naked singer. He was even more beautiful without clothes.

 

"You know we ummm.. lube", the other man smirked.

 

"Oh... Shoot. Ummm I think there's some in the drawer. Maybe", Mike pointed at the table at the other side of the room.

 

The singer strode to the table and started to search. Meanwhile Mike had the most delicious view.

 

"This?", the singer found a tube and waved it in his hand.

 

"That", Mike gasped anxiously.

 

Sure he was excited. He just had never done anything like this and even though he had imagined it so many times he was afraid it would hurt. Which Chester saw and leaned on him to place his lips once again to his mouth reassuring him. He was such a good kisser. And then Chester's hand was around his cock and he gasped with pleasure. Chester's raging hard on was causing lovely friction on Mike's thigh and he thought he was going insane.

 

The singer trailed his fingers further and when Mike felt them on his tight entrance he wondered that when did the singer add the lube and almost giggled. But that would have been weird so instead he held his breath and knew he needed to think less.

 

"Relax", Chester mumbled pushing his index finger in while his velvety tongue was licking Mike's lips eating up the soft moan he let out.

 

The emcee was so freaking tight that Chester wanted to fuck him right away. But instead he added slowly a second finger wanting to take it slowly to make him as comfortable as possible. Mike gasped for air and grabbed Chester's arm.

 

"Ready?", the singer leaned on him kissing his soft lips already swollen.

 

Mike didn't even say anything. He just nodded his lips now quivering feeling the singer pull his fingers off of him. Then he watched Chester get back up and next rub generous amount of the lube to himself. Chester's fingers had felt so freaking good that he couldn't imagine better. The animalistic look in the singer's eyes made him whimper just before he entered him slowly. All his senses were filled with Chester. As his eyes were squinting of the pleasure Mike's stomach did somersaults. How could it be that the man he had loved so long was now enjoying him?

 

"God Mike... You're so tight", Chester whispered leaning to nibble his earlobe.

 

Mike was having trouble to breath. He was getting dizzy cause of all the feelings surrounding him. The room seemed to get smaller and the air thicker. Fire inside him was burning so brightly trying to eat its way out.

 

"Breathe please", Chester said and stopped when he felt the emcee hold his breath.

 

Chester leaned back up to wrap his fingers again around Mike's length making a loud moan erupt from his throat. The emcee rolled his eyes back feeling the skillful hand of the singer start to pump his length. Chester felt so good inside him and the hand was another delicious distraction.

 

"You really should see yourself now... All mine", the singer grinned mischievously pushing harder in Mike's tight hole picking up the speed while his hand was focusing on the other task. 

 

The emcee was staring at him and biting his lip like he would be afraid of what words would roll out of his mouth next. Then he grabbed Chester's ass grazing with his blunt fingernails wanting him still deeper. Chester groaned filling the emcee up with every inch he had. The lovely wet friction was getting too much for him to bear.

 

He trailed his fingers on Mike's hair and grabbed it tilting his head back. That was enough for him and releasing a loud cry he came on Chester's hand. And the sight of the oozing cum and the beautiful face of the emcee with the added sensation of Mike clenching even tighter around his member threw the singer himself over the edge.

 

"Fuck", he croaked after releasing every the last drop of cum inside the emcee.

 

Mike was gasping for air when the singer collapsed next to him.

 

"You look amazing when you come", the emcee muttered still breathless.

 

"So do you", Chester smiled half of his face pressed to the pillow.

 

"What now?", Mike gulped feeling the guilt sneak its way in.

 

"Now... I want to cuddle you until you fall asleep. And then I want to dream of you. And after that I want to wake up next to you", the singer stroked his cheek and kissed the tip of his nose making him smile.

 

Love in Chester's eyes was so obvious that Mike felt his heart skip a beat. He had never felt something like that before. Which was enough to push the guilt back aside. The heat of the singer was radiating to him when he wrapped his arm around Mike pulling him in his arms. Nudging his nose to Chester's neck he smelled the wonderful somewhat comforting scent and soon drifted to peaceful sleep. Meanwhile the singer felt a lonely tear escape his eye but he wiped it off and held the emcee tighter.

 

\-----


	6. Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple

\--------

 

"Yeah yeah... Sure I will. Okay. Yup, bye", Mike woke up to Chester talking in phone.

 

The last night hit him then the guilt battering him down like hundred hammers. But then the smile. Chester gave him the smile that could melt all the ice in the world.

 

"Assuming it was Talinda", Mike uttered and yawned.

 

"Yeah", the singer had already tossed his phone away and crawled next to the naked emcee.

 

"What did you say to her?", Mike felt a red tint creep to his cheeks when the singer pushed himself on him kissing and licking his neck.

 

"I said that we had worked late with a song and then I fall asleep on a couch", he heard the breathy mumble on his now wet neck.

 

"I could wake up like this every morning", the singer groaned rubbing his erection to Mike's thigh.

 

"Well... Anna isn't coming back in days", Mike moaned when the teeth grazed his earlobe.

 

He was totally ready for a second round but they didn't just have time for it.

 

"I think that was an invitation Mr. Shinoda", Chester smirked turning to kiss his lips.

 

"First we have to survive the day in the studio. And try to be productive", the emcee mumbled amongst the kisses.

 

"Right... Can I borrow a shirt? I think I also need a shower", the singer sighed feeling the duty call.

 

"Of course. Go on, there are towels below the sink. I will call Anna in the meantime", Mike nodded giving a reassuring smile.

 

They could handle it. But he didn't know how he could handle this when his wife could get back home. Being separated from the other man every night. The hiding, the secrets. They were already eating him up. He sighed gloomily and got his phone on the nightstand.

 

One text received from Anna that said simply:

 

"Good morning handsome"

 

"Shit", he mumbled and called her.

 

And she didn't suspect anything. How could she? He hadn't given any reason for that before.

 

"Hey... You look terrible", Chester came back looking so damn good the towel hanging on hips.

 

"Yeah... I just called her", he muttered back.

 

"And?", the singer sat down stroking Mike's hand.

 

"Nothing really. I just feel so bad", Mike sighed biting his lip.

 

"Do you regret the sex?", Chester asked honestly not trying to accuse him of anything.

 

"No. I never could. I had dreamed about it so long. Just feel so stupid. It all would be easier without them. So, so much easier", the emcee shook his head.

 

"Good. Meaning the regret thing. I don't either.... Oh and I love to hear that you had dreamed about me fucking you", Chester snorted.

 

"Well... And other way around", the half Asian laughed making the singer blush once in a while.

 

"Oh... Please tell me more", Chester fell on him his eyes sparkling.

 

"Not now. Or otherwise we will be here all day", Mike rolled his eyes giving a small peck on the waiting lips in front of him.

 

"Damn you're right. Even though I wouldn't mind that...", the singer laughed.

 

Joking around they got some clothes on and got downstairs to head to the car. Take away breakfast was something they had in mind cause both were too lazy to cook. Or even toast some bagels. They arrived at the studio on time still smiling and joking drinking from their coffee cups.

 

Brad was already in the studio and soon Dave also appeared from the kitchen. Rob and Joe weren't with them that day which made the studio seem more spacious when they weren't all six crammed behind the mixing table.

 

They started from where they had been earlier but Mike's thoughts traveled and soon he had another beat done. Which was only a good thing. More material meant more work but also more choices.

 

"I like the beginning. Could we focus on that? I feel like it should have big guitars after that", Brad smiled pointing at the emcee. 

 

Mike nodded and they tossed the other idea aside for awhile. It was so weird to have the singer next to him the memory of the last night still so strong in his mind. Chester's presence was pulling him in but he knew he couldn't touch him. It sounded cruel but it just made Mike want him more. The lips that were curling into a smile from time to time just asked to be kissed.

 

"Mike, why is Chester wearing your shirt?", Brad dropped suddenly staring at Chester.

 

Oh how nice! What the fuck Brad?! How the hell can you remember my shirts, he felt like screaming.

 

Say something! Now!, his mind yelled when he stayed quiet.

 

"I just poured some coffee on him and borrowed then mine", he shrugged feeling Chester finally breath next to him.

 

"Right", Brad nodded but his eyes told them he found the answer weird.

 

Good job Mike. Good job", he thought angry at himself.

 

"Sorry", Chester mouthed when the others weren't looking.

 

Mike sure didn't blame him. They just needed to be more careful. He gave a slight smile back and got back to the song. Chester felt how tense Mike was and squeezed his leg briefly under the table. Just to tell him that everything is fine and he was there.

 

Calm down Mike. There's nothing to worry about. It isn't like the shirt says 'I fucked Mike last night' or something. Brad knows that Chester has your shirt. Even if he reacted weirdly it doesn't mean he knows more. So shut your thoughts and focus on the song, he thought.

 

Yeah, Mike Shinoda wanting to escape the studio. That's something new, his thoughts were teasing him.

 

But he was able to push thoughts and feelings further. Soon they had one song almost ready and it amazed him even more than the rest. Some lyrics next day and maybe they would then be satisfied to it.

 

When Brad and Dave were discussing further away Chester got finally a chance to talk with Mike. He turned away from the others and tried to keep his voice as low as possible.

 

"Hey... I'm sorry about the shirt", he mumbled.

 

"Never mind. Didn't know Brad was so interested about what I wear so that he would remember that shirt", Mike sighed.

 

"Right... You know you're so cute when you frown", the singer whispered.

 

"Oh fuck off", Mike grinned and rolled his eyes.

 

"I will. Need some more coffee. You want some?", the singer smiled brushing Mike's leg softly.

 

The emcee nodded and stared then Chester walk to the kitchen area. The ass just begged to be grabbed.

 

"Oh yes, I can be the cute one. But he is the fuckable one", he thought and bit his lip.

 

"So guess the second talk went well", Brad said sitting down next to him.

 

Oh yes the talk. It sure went better than the last time. Cause the others weren't interrupting, he thought.

 

"Yeah", he answered making Brad roll his eyes.

 

"I was kinda interested why he had been so weird and why he is totally different person now. As are you too", the guitarist said glancing back at the kitchen area assuming Chester would be back soon.

 

"Just had a good talk. I think everything's better now", Mike tried to give a little smile.

 

That's good. Give him something so he will stop asking all the questions, he thought.

 

"Okay. Glad you got it figured out. It was weird but most of all I was just afraid there was something.... well we know his history. I was afraid he is depressed again or something even worse", Brad smiled.

 

"Oh, right... Nah, just some thing with Tal. Pretty sure he is okay but I'll keep my eye on him", Mike smiled now genuinely.

 

Dammit. I almost thought he has some kind of sixth sense and were on us. Way to give me heart attack, Mike thought.

 

Chester came back bringing the coffees and once again they got back to the song.

 

Day went by quickly and soon it was time to get home. To their wives or girlfriends. Except Mike and Chester. The emcee didn't want to go back there alone. And Chester didn't want to let him alone. He wanted to spend all of the free time with Mike as long as it was possible. Soon they would have to go back to the routine. 

 

He could lie to Talinda quite easily as long as he could figure out more excuses. He hated lying, but doing it on phone was way more easier than face to face. But Mike was another thing. Chester knew Mike couldn't deal with the lying so well. The thread was so freaking thin where they were walking.

 

But was it worth it? It so fucking much was worth it, he thought looking at the half Asian smiling back at him.

 

He loved Mike and he could do pretty much anything for him. Even if it could possibly destroy other lives. For now he didn't care. Once he did. Then after looking at that face for years without being able to touch him and tell him how much he loved him chewed him up. And now when it was possible.. He had pushed the guilt aside. Life was nothing if you wouldn't have love. Keeping it together was now what they had to do. For not it to blow up.

 

"Ready?", Chester asked when the others had left.

 

"Yeah", the emcee smiled and got up to lock up the places before they could get back to his place.

 

They drove in silence. Mike was still tense and the singer felt so sorry for him. Back at Mike's he let the emcee do what he usually did when he got home. Kick the shoes of, look in the fridge, open the laptop to check the mail and all that. Meantime he sat and stared at him carefully. He loved to see that side of Mike. Not that he wouldn't see Mike being pedantic in the studio on on tour. But he hadn't seen that side of him like this.

 

"Why are you staring at me?", Mike snorted.

 

"I like to see you in that mode. I have always liked it. Could watch that for hours. It makes me calm and comfortable", the singer smiled.

 

"You're weird", the half Asian laughed.

 

"Nah. Just in love", Chester tilted his head.

 

"You know about the morning...", Mike sighed.

 

"Oh! The you dreaming of fucking me?", the singer pushed him to the couch and straddled him.

 

"No, not that... About the regret thing. I wasn't being clear enough I think", Mike smiled at the singer and his actions not to the words he was saying.

 

"Really? I thought you were", Chester raked Mike's hair with his fingers closing his eyes to the silkiness.

 

"When I said I don't regret it I truly meant it. I know it will be twice as hard when Anna gets back. But.... I don't still want us to stop. You don't even know how much it really means to me to be able to finally hug you. I am ashamed that I am doing this to her. But you.... I can't escape the feeling. You saw how miserable I was when I had to hide it from you. I would never want to go back to that. I hope you understand that I am dead serious here", Mike swallowed hard.

 

"I understand. I love you. Nothing will change that. This isn't some high school crush anymore. I thought that first but not after all these years. Besides, I'm guilty all the same", Chester gave a light kiss on his lips.

 

"That would make an awesome song title", Mike grinned.

 

"You and your songs... Well I will give you something to write about", Chester wiggled his eyebrow making the emcee laugh.

 

"Stop! Your ideas wouldn't be appropriate", he answered letting the singer hug him.

 

"Let's go", Mike nodded trying to push the singer up.

 

"Ooh! What do you have in mind?", Chester grabbed his hand kissing his knuckles and stepped back pulling the emcee up too.

 

"You pervert! I just want to cuddle with you until we can't keep our eyes open anymore", the emcee wrapped his arm around Chester and lead him upstairs.

 

They didn't have many days left. He wanted to make most of the time they had and remember it all. Time flies when you are with the one you love most and he was already seeing the end of it.

 

\-----


	7. A future gazing out a past to overwrite

"How many days more? I didn't want to ask this earlier cause...", Chester sighed.

 

"Until she comes back? Tomorrow. And I don't know how early...", Mike lowered his gaze.

 

"Which means... that was the last night. Fuck", Chester groaned.

 

"Yeah. Shall we go?", the emcee muttered finishing his coffee.

 

"I don't want to. Knowing that this is the last day. Which means I have to go home after the day in studio. I can't be home. When all I can think about is you", Chester said pulling the other man against him.

 

It had been almost a week. And Chester had slept every night at Mike's. He did go to home once to change clothes and got back so quickly that first time Talinda did wonder what was happening. Excuse about Mike having a bad day had been decent one. Mike had called to Anna every night just to keep the act together. Meanwhile Chester was always in another room trying to be normal. Cause Talinda would talk with Anna anyway it was smarter to tell the same lies to both of them. Both Chester and Mike knew they were friends but not what they talked about. Details could matter and it was frustrating.

 

"We figure something out okay? It isn't like you're in another city", Mike shook his head. Trying to be rational is so hard when he is so close, he thought.

 

"Right... It feels like it though. You know she is watching you like a hawk", the singer frowned.

 

"You are not exactly making this any easier", Mike sighed when he felt Chester's hands under his shirt.

 

"Wasn't even trying to", the singer mumbled uniting their lips to a rough kiss.

 

"Fuck... You taste so good", the other moaned when Chester pulled away from him.

 

"And we really really need to go. Cause in next minutes I will be tearing your clothes off", he continued when the singer licked his neck. Oh my fucking god why he has to be so hot, he thought biting his lip.

 

"Speaking of... Are you sure Brad won't connect this t-shirt to you?", Chester laughed.

 

"Well if he does he has really some super powers. Black t-shirt with no print and too small for me. Actually it could be originally yours", the emcee laughed putting Chester's coffee mug to the sink.

 

Chester felt like grabbing clothes from home with him was more riskier.

 

"Wouldn't be so surprised...", the singer rolled his eyes and pulled away from the other reluctantly.

 

"I just don't know how it got here", Mike shrugged and grabbed his phone.

 

"I was talking about Brad. And the superpowers you know", the singer laughed pushing his feet to his shoes.

 

The half Asian laughed and checked that the coffee maker was off before opening the front door.

 

"What did you say to Talinda by the way this time?", he arched his brow when they got out.

 

"I told we are working a song again. It seemed appropriate. And almost true since we did talk about the song", the singer said.

 

"Yeah... Before you interrupted it by sucking me off", the half Asian laughed.

 

"But that's totally your fault", Chester grabbed his hand to kiss him again. Oh how he loved to kiss the emcee.

 

"How so?", Mike tried to concentrate to the fact that they were outside and anyone could see them.

 

"Cause you're so sexy", Chester rolled his eyes and smiled.

 

"Right....", Mike mumbled blushing and get into the car.

 

He hadn't really had any time to adjust to this all. His heart was melting with the over pouring love that he felt towards Chester but was also given that back. Never in million years would he had thought that he would be so happy. Until today. He didn't think that waiting his wife back would be such a horrible feeling. It was killing him. Knowing that tomorrow when he would wake up it wouldn't be Chester next to him.

 

"Glad you two are on time", Brad arched his brow when then got into the studio.

 

Yeah, cause we had something else to do yesterday and were late like... maybe ten minutes, Mike thought annoyed that his friend even dared to remind about that.

 

Today they were all on the studio and Chester felt already claustrophobic after few hours. One would think he didn't want to be there but that wasn't true. He did. He was excited to create new music. But being in the same room with the emcee remembering all the touches last night was frustrating. Would be so much easier without the wives and band. Not that he would want the band to break but they wouldn't understand. He was sure of it. 

 

Joe would yell at them about cheating, Brad would disappear somewhere. Dave would probably just agree angrily with Joe. And Rob would agree too but just stay silent. And then the part of they both being male. That was another issue. They hadn't had a talk about the whole sexuality thing. It was easy to think he was at least bi. But Mike? No way, totally straight. And it shouldn't even matter. More to the others would matter that they had been close friends for all of this time. But love wasn't ever wrong, right?

 

"Chester. You're again being annoying. Wanna go an yell in the booth?", Brad said to the singer.

 

He hadn't even noticed it but he had been pacing around.

 

"No. The songs that have lyrics don't need yelling", he said giving a 'will you shut up'- look for the guitarist.

 

"Then go and make some coffee. Or anything", Brad sighed.

 

"Fuck you", Chester muttered not even realizing he said it out loud while he headed out.

 

"What now?", the guitarist yelled at Mike like it was his fault.

 

Mike waved his hands in the air and walked to catch the singer.

 

"Chester!", he groaned when he found the singer outside.

 

"Mike I can't do this", he wailed desperately.

 

"Do what? You can't snap at Brad like that! Try to remember his sixth sense or what ever you want to call it. He will dig the answer out of us if he has something to suspect. You know that!", Mike pushed him against the wall trying to stop him pacing like a mad man.

 

"Fuck!", Chester bursted into tears.

 

Mike grabbed him in his arms feeling helpless. This isn't going to end well, he thought.

 

"Listen. You need to keep it together. There are six other people to think here. I'll help you, I promise", he felt Chester's tears on his neck.

 

"You are miscalculating. You forgot our parents. And the fans", the singer breathed.

 

"I was just talking about your frustration. You can't pour it on poor Brad. He hasn't done anything wrong to deserve it. And next you will drive Talinda crazy", Mike stroked Chester's back.

 

"You're right. I know. Why does this have to be so hard?", Chester sighed.

 

"Cause that is apparently the path we chose. But we will get through it. I'm with you", Mike nodded smiling.

 

"And don't quote me back you fucker", he added when Chester opened his mouth to say something.

 

"Damn, you know me too well", the singer rolled his eyes.

 

"And I also know that we go back now and you apologize. Cause if you two both are being grumpy I am leaving. Can't deal with that. You guys bicker like two school girls on drugs", Mike pushed the other back inside.

 

Chester knew Mike was right and really trying to rationalize the situation. But ignoring all his thoughts while they were in the studies was another thing.

 

"Brad.. I'm sorry I snapped. We... have had a rough time with Tal and I shouldn't take it out on you", Chester mumbled when they got back into the studio. He hated apologies.

 

"Yeah yeah. Couldn't be angry at you anyway, asshole", Brad grinned glancing at Mike who seemed to be waiting what was the next move.

 

"Great. Now let's get back to work", Dave cleared his throat. If Chester hated apologies the bassist hated the general awkwardness in these situations as a bystander.

 

It didn't take long for them to focus again to the songs. Chester tried to remember Mike's words and push his frustration aside before it would grow to anger. None of them wanted to see that and it wouldn't lead anywhere. But soon the day was over and they both could sigh from relief.

 

"I'll call you later okay? When does Talinda go to sleep usually?", Mike asked when they were the last ones on the studio.

 

"Depends. I could call you when she goes. And tomorrow... I can't even imagine that I don't see you tomorrow", Chester mumbled wrapping his arms around the emcee.

 

"It's just one day hey... When did you turn into a crybaby?", Mike smirked and wiped Chester's tears away. Guess we are taking turns who is having harder time, Mike thought.

 

"When I fell in love with you apparently", the singer laughed squeezing the half Asian.

 

"I don't mean I like to see you cry but I do like to see your softer side", Mike kissed the singer not wanting to go.

 

"You have seen me cry before", Chester snorted after the kiss.

 

"Yeah but not that desperate", the emcee mumbled.

 

"Guess I'll have to leave", the other sighed after a while still clinging on to Mike.

 

"You have to let me go then", Mike whispered.

 

"Yeah", the singer answered not moving.

 

"Call me later", the half Asian pushed himself gently away from the singer. Otherwise we would be here all night, he thought.

 

"I love you Mike", Chester said finally letting the emcee go.

 

"I love you too. We'll be fine okay?", Mike nodded and guided them outside to their cars. So weird to go home without him, he thought.

 

"I'll call you. Wait for me", Chester said and got into his own car. Why did it hurt so much just to leave Mike? I will see him the day after tomorrow. Only two nights, he sighed inside the car.

 

Mike watched the singer start his car and drive away and started then his own car to get home. Again the freaking word that didn't mean anything now when Chester wasn't with him. Which sounded even worse echoing in the empty house when he walked in. First thing he did was turning the TV on. Any noise to drown the emptiness. Then he stared at the clock wondering how many hours to go. He sighed and grabbed something quick to eat from the fridge and sat down on the TV.

 

Time passed moderately quickly. He wanted to check the clock every now and then but he knew it wouldn't help so instead he stared at some stupid sitcom that wasn't even interesting. After a while he groaned and decided to go to bed. Some social media and then he would try to sleep. He would wake up anyway to the ringtone he had set for Chester.

 

Thinking about the week and recording he finally remembered something. They had scheduled a day with Rob on the other studio to work out the drums and it was the day after tomorrow. Which meant it wasn't just a day he didn't see Chester, but two. He could probably manage it but Chester had been so sad today that it was probably harder for him. Weird how our emotions fluctuate this much, he thought.

 

He checked that all lights were off and the door securely closed before he headed to the bedroom. A room where he hadn't slept in a week. Glancing towards the guest room he was on the verge of turning around but then he realized if the bedroom didn't look like he had slept in it Anna would question it. Sighing he walked to the room and undressed. Grabbing his phone he opened Twitter first and thought would Chester notice if he would make a post. Smirking he decided to try.

 

When you miss someone so much that you can't think anything else, he tweeted.

 

Maybe risky but every single one would think he was talking about Anna. Except Chester, he would get it.

 

Then he continued to Instagram checking out pictures fans had loaded of Chester. It was so weird to see that face and remember the photo shoots. Where the singer had been late, where he had been drunk, where they had just argued before, where they had had so much fun that the picture captured it perfectly. And the photos after Mike had realized he loved the singer. It didn't show on the pictures but he remembered the feeling. He was just trying to trace back to the exact moment when the phone rang. Obviously it was Chester.

 

"That was such a lovely thing to say. Missing me after few hours, my poor heart is melting here", the singer's voice had great amount of joy.

 

"I knew you would figure it out. And see instantly", Mike laughed

 

C: What are you doing besides hanging on Twitter?

M: I was actually already on Instagram looking at pictures of you.

C: Really? Something nice?

M: Just old photo shoots. I was trying to remember when was the exact moment I realized I love you more than a friend should. And then you called.

C: Aaawww Mike!

M: But I have also bad news... It's Friday on the day after tomorrow. Remember we scheduled the other studio on that day with Rob. So... We don't see in two days.

C: Oh... Well actually we can. Talinda was thinking about throwing a barbecue party on Friday. You know, since Anna is back in town too. Apparently they haven't seen in a while.

M: Right... And how does a voice in the back of my head tell me it isn't a good idea. You, me, booze and the wives.

C: The others are welcome too. And some other people, not like we would be just four of us. Please Mike. I promise I'll behave!

M: You and behave don't fit in same sentence....

C: Mike! Don't be like that, it'll be fun

M: Argh... Okay. If Anna is fine with that we will be there

C: Of course she will, Talinda already called her.

M: I kinda knew it... 

C: So we'll see then. And don't make the poor drummer work too hard on Friday, okay?

M: Yeah yeah.. He will handle it just fine

C: So you say... Good night love

M: Night

 

Then he inhaled heavily and dropped his phone to the bedside table. The excitement was tingling in him, but same time was afraid that something would go wrong. He sent a quick text message to his wife just to ask when he would be home so he wouldn't be on the edge the whole day and leaned then to close the lamp.

 

Around four or five PM. That was by the way such a lovely tweet <3, said the message back.

 

Sure it was when you think it was about you, Mike thought sighing and closed his eyes. Another day tomorrow to keep it all locked up inside.

 

\------


	8. Won't be long 'till everybody knows

\-------

 

Mike's day went pretty well with Rob and he actually did concentrate to the music. However he couldn't figure out why had they scheduled the studio so early on now. It didn't really matter now when they were already there but it was still weird cause they had so little material to work with. 

 

His mind still went back to Anna and his house all the time. Yesterday when Anna had gotten back home tried he to be good husband. Listened to what she had to say about her trip and even tried to ask more questions. And then he thought of Chester. And how he wanted to have that kind of talk with him. If only she would have told earlier they could have had spent one more night together with him. It made Mike aggravated. Like it was her fault in any way. Now his heart was aching. Of course he was excited to see him today, but he could only imagine the situation would be worse than to be with him in studio. He needed time alone with him. Not surrounded by their friends and family where he is afraid he would reveal his feelings.

 

After the day was done he was again surprised that they had gotten something really done. Not recorded, but as ideas. And he was so excited to show them to the singer. Especially this particular where he thought they could include the lines he made Chester sing way back when they had started. He had also a guitar idea to that and Brad would love it too.

 

"You're coming today too I assume?", the drummer asked opening a Coke can.

 

Mike played with the keys in his hand and answered then, "Yeah. Talinda had asked it from Anna before she even got back home."

 

"Cool. Well will see then in few hours", Rob nodded and left Mike to handle the rest in the studio.

 

"Yeah, few hours. Shit...", he mumbled alone getting nervous.

 

He was so sure he would mess up. Or Chester would. Thinking about the singer made him smile. Even if he would do that he would do it cause he was so passionate and loving. Not cause he would want something out of greed.

 

He turned to see was the studio as it should be, in a state he would want to leave it in, and locked then the door walking down to his car.

 

"I'm home!", he yelled from the door when he got in after the annoying drive in the rush hour.

 

"Oh, early! I'm going to shower, do you wanna join?", Anna greeted him wearing only a large t-shirt. His t-shirt. What's up with this 'everyone wearing my shirts'- thing he thought trying not to frown.

 

He smiled dropping the car keys to the table beside the front door. "Nah. I'm gonna make few calls and go after you."

 

"Suit yourself", she brushed him slightly with his fingertips and walked then upstairs. And obviously purposely swaying her hips while walking. Great. She's in the mood, he thought sighing.

 

He would have run after her gladly few years ago. Even just some weeks ago he would have been happy about it. But now it just didn't make him feel anything. Well it felt like cheating. Which was fucking ironic since he was cheating. Just not with her. He fetched his phone and send a message to Chester. Just like they always did in these kind of situations:

 

Do you need us to bring something?

 

Then he went to get more coffee. That was also Chester's fault. Making him more addicted to caffeine. The answer to the text as was quick as he assumed.

 

Nah. Just yourself ;)

 

Oh yeah great Chester! Making me horny just with smilies, he thought rolling his eyes.

 

After drinking the cup empty he walked up to take the shower too. Anna had already gotten out and was drying her hair in the bedroom.

 

"We should get a bottle of wine or something on the way there", she said smiling.

 

"Just texted Chester and he said they don't need anything", he mumbled feeling weird that he was supposed to undress. "Besides I think they have enough wine to drink for all of us."

 

"Don't be silly. That's just a nice gesture", Anna laughed her light bubbly laugh.

 

He nodded and turned around to take his shirt of. "Right."

 

And then there were the warm hands around his chest. Hands of a woman he once had loved. All he could think was that he wanted them to be Chester's. Emotions were flooding his mind and he was just about to panic when Anna's phone rang. He held his breath and motioned to her that he was going to then shower. Before getting even an answer he was gone.

 

Damn! You can't do that. You can't panic when your wife touches you!, he thought staring himself in the mirror.

 

Groaning almost silently he pulled his pants off and tossed them onto the floor before turning on the stream of water. It was so soothing. After spending way too long under the hot water he grabbed shower gel and started to rub himself clean. Shaking his head he tried to banish all unwanted thoughts. Then he closed the stream feeling like he had scrubbed a layer of skin off and started to dry himself.

 

"Mike hey... Could you please next time not leave laundry on the floor?", she waved a shirt in the air when he opened the bedroom door.

 

She wasn't angry, that wasn't her style. More like slightly amused cause that was the first time ever she needed to say something like that. Mike nodded and grabbed the shirt to take it to the laundry basket. She gave a small peck on his nose and left the room. And why the fuck did I leave it behind. Freaking haunting shirts, he was mocking himself. Instead of tossing Chester's shirt to the laundry basked he hid it in his closet. There it would be safe. Then he started to rummage through his own clothes to figure out what he would wear.

 

When he had finally decided and was just about to pull pair of pants on Anna got back to the bedroom. She had done something for her hair and had a light make up. And had his favorite perfume on. The one he had bought from abroad and which she had instantly liked. But it didn't smell like Chester. The woody, slightly fruity aroma that he wore so naturally. Which made Mike's groin stir when he remembered all the times he had sniffed him secretly. Feeling the shivers along his spine he tried to chase the thoughts away.

 

"You should wear that shirt with those pants." Anna was suddenly next to him pointing at a certain shirt. "It suits better than the one you are holding."

 

"Okay, will do", he muttered slightly annoyed but obeyed.

 

She got to her own closet and pulled on a green dress she had obviously picked up earlier. Just perfectly casual without heels. And it looked great on her. If only he would have still thought about her that way.

 

"We should get going already", she added some jewelry and Mike glanced at the clock.

 

Of course she was right. They would be soon late if he wouldn't hurry. Drive wasn't long but they needed to pick up the wine. He pulled the shirt on and picked up his phone to get an Uber.

 

During the whole drive he was trying to calm his nerves. Repeating himself that it wasn't natural that he was so nervous and they would notice. If Anna wouldn't Talinda would. And if she wouldn't at least Brad would. And if they would notice they would question it and he would have to lie. Making an excuse would be hard.

 

After they had stopped to grab the wine the rest of the time he tried to focus on his phone. But social media wasn't good idea either. He was tagged in so many things- and so was Chester. His smile was so wonderful. It was driving him crazy and here he was stuck in the stupid car with his wife. He sighed heavily when the car finally stopped and they walked to the front door. Happy murmur could be heard from the back of the house where they had the grill. Mike didn't even get a chance to press the doorbell when the door opened and Talinda greeted them.

 

"Great, you made it!", she kissed Anna on the cheeks and gestured them inside after thanking for the bottle of wine.

 

They followed Talinda and walked through the house to the backyard.

 

"Mike! How did it go today?", Brad was first to greet them.

 

And Mike could barely speak when he noticed the singer. Holy shit he looks hot, he thought swallowing hard. Chester had dark grey skinny jeans on with black wife beater and sunglasses that hid his eyes. He was standing in front of the grill in a position that was almost a pose his presence illuminating brighter than the sun. Then he turned his head glancing at Mike like saying, "Speak!" and Mike finally realized that Brad was still waiting for the answer.

 

"Oh! Just fine. Don't know why we scheduled it so early on, but I think we got more ideas", he said nodding at Rob who nodded back.

 

And now don't do that again, he beat himself inwardly.

 

Talinda handed him a beer and he sat down in front of the table trying to figure out what they were talking about and should he participate. Dave was telling about some new game he had bought and Brad was listening to him. Their wife's were talking with each other and Rob with his. Other guests were nonexistent. But it really didn't matter cause he just didn't have anything to say. Staring at the beautiful singer was way more interesting than anything else happening around him. And just like that time went by and soon the food was ready.

 

"Mike, do you want some red wine with the food?", Talinda asked from him smiling.

 

He tried to smile back and hoped it didn't look like a cringe. "Yes please."

 

She nodded and poured him a glass. What a great hostess, Mike thought feeling a sting in his heart. Chester placed another huge plate of meat in the middle of the table and finally sat down just opposite to him, and Talinda next to Chester. How nice, the half Asian thought again getting annoyed by the whole situation.

 

"Honey, you're awfully tense today", Anna whispered rubbing his neck.

 

Mike could almost feel that he singer tensed then too. He didn't see his eyes but he knew him too well. Ha! He is feeling jealous, he thought like it was a game. If he would reach he would have totally kicked Chester's shin just to notify him that he noticed the change in him.

 

They all ate joking around and laughing an the atmosphere was overall lighter than Mike had thought. Or maybe it was the wine talking cause he was getting drunk. The food was crazy good, and he managed to thank Talinda properly. Chester had obviously cooked the meats but she had marinated them and done all the rest.

 

"Babe, could you please get the dessert? And some plates", Talinda patted Chester on his leg after she had carried all the dirty plates back inside and gotten few more wine bottles.

 

Babe... Ugh, Mike thought almost snorting aloud. And then he did a decision he shouldn't have done. Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was Chester who was mesmerizing him.

 

"I'll go to the toilet", he nodded after a while for his wife and followed the singer inside. Chester was obviously in kitchen but luckily the toilet was just around the corner from there.

 

"Really? Babe?", Mike startled the other man who was just lifting a chocolate cake from the fridge.

 

"Jealous?", Chester laughed and placed the cake on the table. "Besides 'honey' is even worse..."

 

"Yeah?", Mike tilted his head snorting. He wanted to be mad but couldn't.

 

"Yeah", the singer pushed him roughly against the side of the fridge making something inside it clink.

 

"I wanted to rip her hand off when he touched you. You're mine", he growled lowly against Mike's ear making the little hairs stand up in his neck.

 

"I noticed that", the emcee mumbled. The wine was buzzing in his head but so were Chester's words.

 

The singer grind against him playing with the hem if his shirt. "I want to fuck you so bad..."

 

"And we need to keep the control", Mike whispered when Chester bit his lower lip.

 

They were just perfectly shielded by the fridge if someone would happen to go and seek for them but they would still have to explain why they were breathy and flushed.

 

"Yeah... Wouldn't be easy to explain if I would rip your clothes off and fuck you right on the dinner table", the singer licked Mike's lips teasing.

 

The half Asian would also have to hide his visible bulge. "Stop it."

 

"We probably should...", Chester kissed him humming softly. "Lucky that I have so tight pants."

 

"I noticed that too. Your ass looks great. But please mind me too, my pants show everything", Mike mumbled letting his eyes sink closed when he felt the tongue trail to his neck.

 

"Oh my fucking god...." he moaned when the singer pulled his hair roughly.

 

Chester got back to the kissing, attacking Mike's mouth with his tongue while Mike grabbed his waist digging his fingers in the soft flesh probably leaving marks and pulling him against himself. Thoughts were spinning in Mike's head but all he could really concentrate was the singer making him strain against his pants.

 

"I really need to get back", Chester pulled away breathy.

 

"Yeah. Well thanks for this", the emcee growled feeling annoyed.

 

"Don't mention it", the other winked his eye laughing and stepped aside to grab the cake.

 

"Bring the plates when you come?", he added taking the sunglasses from the table the grin in his face from ear to ear.

 

Mike laughed and sighed then. "Fuck you Chester. I will so repay that."

 

"Counting on it", the singer whispered and blew a kiss to him.

 

Mike shook his head still smiling an headed to the toilet. He certainly needed some time to cool off. Running the water as cold as possible he pushed his face under the stream. When he felt like his face was about to peel off from the coldness he closed the faucet and patted his face dry. Then he straightened his shirt and corrected his hairdo which Chester had messed up with his lovely fingers. Getting back to the others would be hard but he swallowed and started walking. It was inevitable, he couldn't do anything else. Grabbing the plates along the way he got back to the patio.

 

"That took long", Anna frowned questioning when he sat back down.

 

Idiot. That's not a surprise, you shouldn't have taken that long, he mocked himself inwardly.

 

"Yeah, just needed to discuss with Chester", Mike smiled trying to act carefree.

 

Like a clockwork Talinda was there pouring more wine for him. Which he totally needed now.

 

And now try to act normal even thought you just almost were fucked by your fellow bandmate, he thought glancing at Chester who was grinning when no one payed attention to him.

 

\-------


	9. With the promises we made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! If you're reading this- thank you. It means a lot to me. I'd love to hear what you think also so drop a comment if you have time. Love you all <3

\-------

 

"So what if we speed the beat up here just a tiny bit? That could work", Brad pointed at he screen.

 

Mike tilted his head thinking and nodded then. "Let's try that."

 

Rob was talking with Dave on the other side of the room and Chester was thinking about lyrics on the other side of him. Joe was late, as usual. A normal day in studio one could say.

 

Yesterday did end well eventually. Like not the way he had thought. The encounter was exactly what he expected but when it didn't end for them to getting caught and Chester behaved the rest of the day he was happy. Wouldn't have been their brightes moment if they would have gotten busted. Mike actually had played the scene over and over again in his mind.

 

"What the hell? You're gay?!", Anna would have yelled.

 

Then Talinda would have barged in screaming and probably clinging on to Anna. Next the rest would have come to see what was happening. The other wives would have pouted disapproving while Dave would have shouted at them that it was wrong, and they were friends. Then Brad would have added that they were also cheating and finally Anna would have broken down into tears and promised that she would make him miserable for the rest of his life.

 

And then Joe would have said that that's it with the band and Chester would have ended it with him. Okay the last one was not probably going to happen but he liked to take his scenarios to the worst possible situation so that there wouldn't be any surprises when it really started to unravel. Cause it would someday, he thought gloomily.

 

Of course he did this all after he had jerked off furiously in the shower while thinking about the singer and their hot encounter in the kitchen. And how he would repay it. First time in years he locked the door when he showered. Anna didn't question that, just the fact that he took another shower hours after the first when he wasn't even sweaty. But he complained headache and she believed it. Mike, that is what women do when they don't want to have sex, he thought. The guilt was really chewing him when he rolled on his side to the bed and covered his head with the blanket.

 

With Chester they hadn't had chance to talk today alone. He had seen the glances that made the hairs on his neck stand up and something inside him hum. Trying to contain himself he got back to thinking about the song he were working on today.

 

"Mike. Concentrate", Brad cleared his throat.

 

Mike sighed. "I try. Why it is always you who notices stuff." He didn't mean to say it out loud but there it was.

 

"Cause I have the brains. And ears, and eyes. And usually I listen and look when others are talking", the guitarist answered like it was the clearest thing ever.

 

"Hu... Right. Okay....", the emcee didn't even know what to say to that.

 

But then Rob bursted up into laugher followed soon by Chester and then Dave.

 

"Dude! That was some deep shit. Great job!", the singer chuckled.

 

Mike rolled his eyes. "Not that deep... Don't let it go to your head, Bradford."

 

Chester picked up the tone from it and nudged the emcee softly and shook then his head smiling. They both had these new characteristics which occasionally stood up. And that was glimpse of jealousy which was ridiculous in this situation. But he wouldn't blame the emcee. They were in such uncomfortable circumstance that neither of them were acting normally. Perhaps no one would.

 

"Mikey, wanna grab some lunch with me? Joe should be here in any minute too", he suggested.

 

Mike frowned but got up anyway. They walked to the kitchen and picked up a note from the table. They had a habit to order from different places each day and each band member chose their dish first thing when they came to the studio. That way when it was time to eat the person who was picking the food up didn't need to wait for the others to decide. 

 

Chester watched the emcee bite his lip. He looked super hot wearing black and red squared shirt and tight black jeans that were ripped from knees. His hair was fluffy but didn't look like he had really put much effort in it. The singer wanted to dip his fingers in and feel the silky strands.

 

"What?", Mike arched his brown when he noticed the look.

 

The singer smiled playfully and tilted his head. "Was just thinking how handsome you look today Mr. Shinoda."

 

"Well thank you Mr. Bennington. Wasn't it just yesterday when I was staring at your nice firm ass...", the emcee rolled his eyes chuckling.

 

"Oh you were, weren't you? I think I got a taste of that afterwards", Chester said as they were crossing the street.

 

Mike shook his head still having the trademark smile on his face. "Yes. Cause you couldn't keep your hands off of me."

 

"And that leads us back to the first thing- cause you are so fucking hot", the singer breathed against his neck while he pushed the restaurant door open Mike caught between him an the door.

 

"Watch out Chaz with your boney hips poking my ass", the emcee groaned.

 

"Shut up. You like it anyway", Chester chuckled reminding him that they were in the restaurant and could get recognized.

 

Mike shook his head and handed the paper to the counter. He was beyond ecstatic of this whole talk. Well even just that they could spend this short time together. The more they were together alone the more he really felt like they belonged. And he had lived in a lie for years. Really a crushing feeling. But then there was still illuminating smile on Chester's face and it was all pushed back aside.

 

"So... Did Anna say anything when she got back home? Or yesterday after the party?", the singer asked when they had gotten their order and headed back to the studio.

 

"No. But she found your shirt. Thought it was mine....", the half Asian cringed.

 

"Oh. Shit. Sorry, I shouldn't have left it there", Chester shook his head. Dammit, he thought kicking himself inwardly.

 

Mike nodded. "Yeah well, no more mistakes like that. If either of them finds out then she will tell to the other wife. And next the band will know. Which... I don't really even want to think were it will lead. I did it yesterday and didn't like any the possible outcomes. Cause it will end badly."

 

"Okay. So when Tal leaves to her mums next week you won't be leaving your shirt at my place?", the singer smirked.

 

"Whoa! That... Do you think I could turn down that kind of an offer?" Mike groaned cause he knew again that wasn't a good idea.

 

Chester chuckled and kissed his cheek quickly before they got inside the studio itself. "Well... I kinda wished that."

 

"Yeah. And I still have to repay you", the emcee poked him. "You know there is already a pattern?"

 

"Like what?" Chester frowned grabbing handful of utensils from a drawer. 

 

"Well you know, wives out of town and...", Mike tried to keep his voice low even though the others were in another room.

 

"Aaaand... Nobody said that it would go exactly as last time", Chester teased him.

 

"Well that you can count on", the emcee winked his eye and slapped his ass before they entered the studio room with the foods.

 

Then it was Chester's turn not to focus. Which amused Mike greatly cause he could feel the frustration when the singer was thinking about their previous conversation. Exactly what he wanted.

 

"You know you're driving me crazy?", Chester squeezed his thigh quickly under the mixing table while they were eating making Mike almost drop his fork.

 

Mike rolled his eyes and smirked whispering. "Yup. My turn."

 

And of course Brad had eyes open just then. Mike cleaed his throat when he saw the look that Brad gave. Which wasn't: "What the fuck you're doing?", but more like: "I would like to hear wha is so funny."

 

"Chester couldn't decide with the food last time and wanted then mine. So I did the same now", the emcee shrugged. That's lame-ass excuse, he reminded himself inwardly.

 

The guitarist just kept staring at him like he was trying to figure something out but then just didn't say anything. Mike was getting paranoid but tried then to remember that it was probably Brad who was overthinking and he couldn't really know what was happening. He couldn't do that. He wasn't that smart that he would figure out that his two best friends had fallen in love and were fucking. Not from so minor details. Hopefully, Mike thought.

 

The song they were working on that day was stuck and now they decided to get to another they were doing last week. Joe came in just after they had finished the lunch and brought fresh ideas with him which suited the other perfectly. It already started to look like a song.

 

Just before they were finishing the day and others already left, Anna called Mike asking could he do some grocery shopping before heading to home. Task he hated but did it anyway if asked. Like a good husband would, he thought. He got the list via mail and rolled his eyes.

 

"What?", the singer asked when he saw the look on his face.

 

Mike sighed and turned to face him. "Anna just wants me to do the grocery shopping. You know how much I hate that. Besides... I don't want to go home again without you. It isn't a home without you."

 

"Baby... Wish we could be together. I really wish. I actually thought about getting a divorce just yesterday. But... Then I am so afraid it would get messy. And even if I would be free you wouldn't. If we both would be the band would start to question", Chester grabbed him in a tight hug.

 

The half Asian wrapped his arms around the singer sighing. "We're in a deep mess aren't we... Only thing I am certain is the love. I love you more than anything and I don't want to lose you. No matter what happens."

 

"You won't", the singer pushed Mike away from him to look straight to his eyes.

 

Mike knew that look. He knew that he could trust the singer. He wouldn't let him down, ever.

 

"And I want to catch up the time we weren't together like we should have been", he then kissed the emcee affectionately.

 

"Which is years you know that right? It's lots of catching up", Mike mumbled in Chester's mouth.

 

And the he felt Chester's hand on his pant buttons. "Which means we should get going."

 

"Nu uh", Mike swatted his hands off grinning mischievously.

 

The singer held his breath by surprise when Mike pushed him back against the table and lifted him to sat on it. "Whoa.. What's this?"

 

"Not the payback. Yet", Mike grabbed Chester's belt to open it and pushed their lips together roughly.

 

Chester gasped while the emcee nibbled his bottom lip and opened his pants. "Did you forgot the talk about 'mistakes'?"

 

"Oh. So you want me to stop? The door is locked you know....", Mike pushed back and tilted his head.

 

"No... Not really", Chester chuckled and gasped then again when the slim fingers wrapped around his growing member.

 

Mike licked his neck and attacked then his earlobe with his teeth. "I kinda figured that. I would so fuck you right now if I wouldn't have even better plans for next week."

 

"Please do tell more", the singer moaned when Mike started to pump with his hand excruciatingly slow teasing the tip with his thumb spreading the pre cum.

 

"Nope... I won't reveal my plans yet", he answered and got back to kiss the singer.

 

The singer purred in his mouth and grabbed him by the shoulders to get him even closer. The emcee stroked his hand just tiny bit faster receiving a grunt from the other.

 

"Okay... I don't really complain if your plans include sex with you. God, you taste so good", Chester muttered when Mike pulled away from him breathless.

 

The emcee smiled and slowly bend himself so he could get in better position. He was desperate to taste the singer. Chester's eyes widened when he realized it wasn't just a hand job and Mike wrapped his smiling lips around his leaking cock.

 

"So do you", the emcee whispered after he had swirled his tongue a while around the tip.

 

Chester swallowed hard looking down at the eyes that had a wonderful mischievous glint in them. Mike teased him with his tongue again licking him from the base to the tip and just when the singer was getting impatient he engulfed it all to his hungry mouth. The singer had hard time not to buck his hips and push Mike's head further down.

 

"Holy shit Mike. I love your mouth", he gasped trailing his fingers to the silky hair.

 

The 'uh-hum' that Mike could barely let out sent vibrations that traveled through his spine making him moan. The rigid wet tongue and the hot mouth together were driving him insane. And the lingering excitement made him groan. The emcee dug his fingers to the tense flesh on his ass and Chester smiled throwing his head back.

 

Mike's phone started to ring but before Chester could yelp from disapproval the half Asian swallowed him even deeper. No way he was going to answer to the stupid phone and ruin the moment. The singer couldn't restrain himself longer and he grabbed Mike's hair tighter arching his back. Mike could feel the throbbing against the roof of his mouth. And soon the singer tensing up and gasping for air before the hot load hit his throat. After he had swallowed every last drop he couldn't help but to smile. It was rather quick but he loved every second if it.

 

"So if your payback is something like that... I can't wait till next weak", the singer tried to catch his breath while the emcee got back up stretching his back.

 

Mike shook his head and reunited their lips smiling still. "Nah... Hope it's better."

 

Chester chuckled and let the other help him down from the table. Mike helped him to button his pants too while their tongues were still battling together. He could taste his own cum in Mike's mouth and it was something so enthralling that he felt almost impossible to not to slam the half Asian against the wall and fuck him there.

 

"And now I think I need to go", Mike whispered.

 

For once in awhile he wasn't sad cause of that. He would probably skip through the grocery store and even whistle in the car. He would get through the rest of the day and night easily after this. Well after he would jerk off again in the shower.

 

"Yeah... We'll see tomorrow", the singer nodded kissing his cheek.

 

Together they locked up the place and headed to the cars.

 

"Call me tonight, okay? Wanna hear your voice before I go to sleep", Chester whispered and guided the emcee to his car.

 

"Okay. I love you", Mike nodded.

 

The singer tilted his head smiling. "I'm happy that you do. I love you too."

 

\------


	10. I put on my daily façade but then...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for the sex... And yes there are three real life events thrown in. Enjoy <3

\-----

 

Days had passed since the last 'incident'. Mike was getting more and more annoyed that he couldn't be with the singer longer times. They saw in the studio usually five days a week and that was it. No real touching or talking. It made him more angry than sad. Anna didn't really do anything to make him upset but he still was, at her too. Or maybe that just was it. He was seeking for an excuse to be mad at her when he was the one cheating.

 

But today was the day he had been waiting for since Anna came back. Talinda was leaving to her mom's and he would go to Chester's after the studio. Making an explanation why was lame so instead he just told that he needed to spend some time with his friend. Which was totally true and Anna didn't even seem to mind that she would be alone for few days. She did wonder why they would even need alone time when they saw daily in the studio, but Mike explained that he needed time with Chester that did not include working.

 

Here he was, anxious. And excited. He had even popped to a 'specialty store' as he liked to call them cause he was totally going to get his payback finally. But maybe even more than that he waited waking up next to the singer. There was something magical when you open your eyes still sleepy and see the person you love totally unconscious about the surrounding world. And the singer smiles when he sleeps, probably the cutest sight ever. He was more than just incredulous that it would all go as he had planned but he was willing to take the risk. It wasn't like Tal could barge in suddenly cause she wasn't even in same town. Screw that really, it was time for him to love.

 

"You say a glow is a bad word Mike?", Brad asked.

 

Mike frowned. "Oh... No, I didn't. Spark we don't... we can't use".

 

"Ummm.. So you could do like 'a fire needs a space to burn, a breath to build a glow'...", the guitarist suggested.

 

"Dope! That's fucking dope", Mike grinned. "I like it."

 

The singer nodded. "There it is. Great. Perfect." He was more than eager to just head home with Mike. They had only few days but it was better than nothing. Better than going home to a person he didn't really even love.

 

"Aaaaa!, I can go home and to sleep!", the guitarist said kinda reading his mind.

 

Mike laughed glancing at Chester who sipped his coffee. Yes I know what you're thinking, Mike thought too. He continued with the typing shaking his head slightly.

 

"Master Bennington. Would you like to sing?", Mike asked after a while.

 

"Yes I would", the singer said tossing his phone down.

 

Brad waved at them same time and closed the studio door. Finally they were alone and would be till tomorrow morning when they would head back there with the others.

 

"Really, really, really glad this song is in this state", Chester said putting the headphones on.

 

"Yes. Cause that means my mind is at ease and we can leave soon. But I am even more glad that we are alone finally", Mike snorted.

 

Chester smiled his illuminating smile and shook his head. Few seconds and Mike gave him cue to sing. Meanwhile Mile drifted to his thoughts still keeping his ears on the singing. Anticipation was growing and somehow he was less unsure than last time. Shame was somewhere in the back of his mind and not anymore the first thing when he thought what they were doing. He got back to the day when he had kissed the singer first time and wondered what would have happened if Chester wouldn't have had the same feelings too. Or maybe even said that they couldn't continue in same band and as friends.

 

"Can we go now?", the singer chuckled after few takes.

 

Mike tilted his head. "Guess we are ready for today. I liked it a lot."

 

"Well you're biased anyway", the singer laughed.

 

The half Asian closed the devices and followed then Chester outside.

 

"What's that?", the singer frowned when he saw a bag on Mike's backseat.

 

The emcee laughed nervously. "Well... I thought that I could maybe need some clothes. So you know, the same doesn't happen again. Maybe something else too."

 

"Oh.... OH, wait a second! What does that mean?", Chester's eyes widened as Mike started the car.

 

"Gosh you're so impatient... You'll see it when the time comes", the emcee snorted and turned the car around to head at Chester's.

 

Chester laughed while his mind was trying to figure out what the other meant. "Well the day was long and I'm ecstatic that we can finally spend proper time together. I even got us something almost ready to eat so we don't need to order in nor cook."

 

"Great. Love to see you in such good mood", Mike nodded smiling. Oh boy, hope he does like the surprise, he thought not sure should he reveal it already. Or was it even a surprise for the other.

 

When they got to Chester's first thing he did was to open the TV. Next he glanced at the emcee and went to grab a beer for them both. Mike sat down in front of the TV and crossed his legs.

 

"This is... kinda strange. Same time I feel like this is totally normal and I would like to do this every day and on the other hand I feel so awkward. Like... We were only friends just some time ago", the singer swallowed and grabbed Mike's cap and placed it on the table making the emcee rake his hair.

 

Mike shrugged. "Yeah... I think getting used to it is the thing. Cause we haven't done this before."

 

"Do you... remember when you fell in love with me?", Chester blushed slightly. He really wanted to know. Cause he sure did remember when he fell in love with Mike. Or at least when he realized it.

 

"I do. And how I felt it is bad. That I shouldn't feel like that", the emcee gulped his beer.

 

Chester got closer to him placing his hand on his leg. "Tell me?"

 

Mike shifted and sighed, "Are you sure you want to hear it? You know... It was years ago."

 

"Yes. But wait just a second, I'll get our food first. I'm freaking starving!", the singer jumped up and ran to the fridge.

 

"You're always hungry... Oh, this does look good? What is it?", Mike tilted his head when he got a plate in front of him and peeled the plastic wrapper off.

 

Chester's got excited that the other found it interesting and was even willing to try. He liked cooking but didn't really know was he good in it or not. "Well I just did a cold noodle salad with roasted duck and some vietnamese spring rolls. Hope it tastes as good as it looks..."

 

The emcee nodded and got the fork that Chester handed to him to get a taste. Soon he nodded again mouth full of food and mumbled, "Really good. I could eat this again. And again."

 

The singer blushed the warm feeling spreading to his body. Omg he likes my cooking, he thought like a teenage girl.

 

"Great, love that you like it. So... Please tell me. I do want to know", he muttered.

 

Mike swallowed and sipped some beer before he started to think and go back in time. "Remember when we were in Australia and you broke your wrist? I was super worried. You said it hurts like hell but you wanted to finish the show still. The wrist looked horrible, like a golf ball under the skin. Finally when the show was over and you went to the ER I wondered why am I that worried. Like, you were my friend sure, but I felt more like a part of me was.... dunno", he stopped to catch a breath.

 

"When you came back and you showed the X-ray pic and I saw it went all the way through I realized that I couldn't bear if something more worse would happen to you when even that hurt so much emotionally. I laughed when you talked about it. Cause I was nervous and cause you were fine but also to hide the fact that my heart was jumping out of my chest and I felt like crying cause I also realized I shouldn't feel that way. Like... I would want to kiss you and hold you and say it would get better", he mumbled.

 

"Mike that's... Six years ago", the singer hanged his head low.

 

"I know. But you have to understand that I really honestly thought I was alone with my feelings. It was killing me. Shows were fine, but traveling with you and in studio... And interviews jeez. So many occasions that I almost blurted it out. But then the smart Mike stepped in and I didn't. I'm sorry okay?", the half Asian explained holding Chester's hand but wanted to just run outside to cry his eyes out.

 

"Don't... You don't need to apologize. As you know I didn't say anything either. I could have, but I didn't. Neither of us did. And here we are now. I don't really regret wasting the years with someone else cause the life was still good. Just... Didn't have the love I wanted to have", Chester kissed the back of his hand.

 

"So how about you? Do you remember that exact moment?" Mike asked staring at the dark pools.

 

"Yeah... It was only year after that. We had the Milton Keynes show and we were doing 'The Little Things Give You Away'. You looked so pretty... I glanced at you when you had closed your eyes and were singing. But then I realized I shouldn't be thinking that of a friend. I tried not to think it but you smiled and I comprehended that I was in love with you. Had been some time, but that was the moment I finally saw it. And then after the show you got all excited when you told that during 'Pushing Me Away' a moth landed on your finger. Like it was some sort of sign. And then you said it was just when I sang the line 'the sacrifice of hiding in a lie' and my heart dropped. I never had believed in 'signs' but... Maybe it was", the singer spoke quietly.

 

"I remember it now... Yeah. We have wasted many years of our lives hiding in a lie", Mike smiled sadly and drank his beer down.

 

The singer pushed his glasses up with his index finger. "Let's not try to think it as wasting. We couldn't have done anything else. But promise me, no more. Okay? No matter what happens don't leave me."

 

"If you just promise me the same. I... don't know how long we can keep the act together. Brad is way too smart for his own good", the half Asian groaned and shook his head.

 

"You think he will figure out first? I was thinking it would be Rob. He observes more than he says", the singer laughed and finished the last bits of his food.

 

"Jeez, you can really make serious to something....not so serious", the emcee snorted.

 

Of course. That's me", Chester winked his eye and leaned to give a soft kiss on Mike's lips.

 

The emcee grabbed the back of Chester's head and pulled him on top of him startling him. Quickly he slipped his tongue inside the singer's mouth making him purr.

 

"I have literally waited that the whole freaking week. Well... Since the last time", Mike gasped for breath when he broke the kiss.

 

Chester just stared at him not believing that the man was finally his. Not literally but way more than he could have ever thought.

 

"Mike", he said finally.

 

"What?", the emcee got serious kinda afraid the singer would say something bad. Push him away, say that they couldn't do this... Something. He was still unsure that the singer would change his mind.

 

"You're unbelievably beautiful", Chester said smiling and gave a peck on his nose.

 

Mike returned the smile. "So are you too. You know how hard it was in the studio when I couldn't touch you. All of your flirting and smiling.... Like really? Do you have to tease me all the time when the others are around?"

 

The singer chuckled. "Not intentionally!"

 

"Yeah right... Well I think it's time for my payback", Mike gave a devilish grin and pushed the singer slowly off of him.

 

"Whoa...", Chester got up arching his brow.

 

"Yup. Now get your butt to the bedroom or I spank you too", Mike stood up walking to his bag.

 

The singer didn't know really how to react but didn't want to disobey either. So instead he twirled around and walked to the bedroom glancing over his shoulder in the stairs. Mike grabbed the bag he had brought with him and followed soon. He was crazy nervous. Not his thing to do something like this but on the other hand the singer had begged for it. Mike shook himself from head to toes trying to relax and stepped to the bedroom.

 

"Sure you want to... well here?", he swallowed glancing around the master bedroom.

 

Chester shrugged. "Should it even matter? This bed is way more comfortable anyway. Besides the guest bedroom is over heated."

 

"And you're being arrogant", the emcee laughed.

 

Chester stared back at him laying on the double bed. Thin line of his creamy white skin was exposed under his shirt revealing also the fine hairs traveling down from the navel. Mike bit his lip and moaned inwardly. He wanted to just jump on the bed and kiss the singer till they couldn't breathe no more.

 

"What are you thinking?", the singer asked frowning.

 

"Uh uhm... Dunno. Guess you... I... Jeez this is awkward", Mike laughed not really knowing how to proceed. Guess the idea was good in his head but it had been just an idea. Making it happen was another thing.

 

The singer grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it off with one swift move and tossed it aside with his glasses.

 

"Does that help?", he grinned.

 

Mike laughed still nervous. "God... Not really."

 

The singer rolled his eyes and leaned to grip Mike's shirt and pulled him on the bed and rolled over him.

 

"Well... any better now?", he whispered when the half Asian just stared at him mouth open. It would be just so easy to let the singer take the lead again.

 

The hands slowly got between their bodies when the singer started to unbutton his shirt. Chester inched his head closer and licked Mike's bottom lip just teasing. Mike groaned from frustration.

 

"No?", the singer trailed his hand to his strands and tugged to get a better access to his neck and gave a long lick ending it just below Mike's beard.

 

Mike was finally annoyed enough when he felt the teeth graze his neck and pushed the singer off of him and rolled then to get on top. The singer tried to push him off but Mike locked his hands on top of his head making him hold breath.

 

"Shit....", Chester gasped when he saw the determination in Mike's eyes.

 

"Already? Well I'm then really anticipating what you say after I'm finished", Mike tilted his head smirking and leaned down then to kiss him almost too hard, biting Chester's lip and pushing his rigid tongue in the awaiting mouth.

 

The singer bucked his hips trying to grind against the other man but made him only pull away. 

 

He growled when Mike got up and just stood there beside the bed staring at him. "Mike!"

 

"What? I thought it was my time to tease you", he laughed and got the bag from the floor.

 

"Well... Teasing and being annoying are not the same thing", Chester snorted looking at the half Asian that was finally about to reveal what the bag had hidden in.

 

"Could you close your eyes for me?", Mike said.

 

The singer rolled his eyes but obeyed then. Mike opened the bag and got a pair of leather shackles out. Finally I'm in charge. For a while at least, he thought crawling next the singer.

 

"Don't open yet. But turn on your stomach", the emcee whispered.

 

Chester frowned and turned. Then he felt something soft but tough around his wrist getting tightened. Instantly he wanted to open his eyes but then Mike leaned over him nibbling his ear and brushing his sides with his hands.

 

"Patience", the emcee said softly and got up again. He was amused by the whole situation.

 

"You just didn't cuff me up...", Chester muttered pulling his hands apart from each other hearing the metal cling.

 

Mike snorted and got back to the bed with few more items. Then he trailed his hands under the singer opening the button and unzipping his pants. Before he pulled them off following with the boxers he kissed the singer's neck emitting a low growl from him.

 

"I don't think you will mind it after this", Mike chuckled pulling his shirts off and dropped them on the floor.

 

When Chester heard the belt and next the zipper he wanted again to open his eyes. Just to devour the sight he knew was behind him.

 

"Mike", he swallowed.

 

"Ummm?" the emcee mumbled squeezing his firm buttock.

 

Chester continued chewing his lip. "You... Can I open my eyes soon?"

 

"I think that means you want me to proceed faster in what ever I am going to do", he whispered a hot breath directly to Chester's ear and let him feel his hard on on his ass.

 

"Well uhm... ", the singer wriggled not knowing was that exactly what he wanted but sure he was growing more and more impatient. And hard.

 

But his words were interrupted by something cold and hard that intruded in him.

 

"Relax", Mike licked his neck when he saw the singer getting all tense and gasp for air.

 

"That's... not a finger. Nor your cock I assume", Chester finally got out of his mouth with a wince. It didn't really hurt, but it was a weird feeling.

 

The half Asian chuckled, "Well I can assure that I am way bigger than that", and turned then a power on on the vibrator.

 

"Fuck!", the singer yelped and almost bounced off the bed. What the fuck Mike, he thought but was really glad that he had teased the other so much that he had planned this.

 

Mike was getting overly excited by the sight below him. The low growl coming from the singer's mouth turned to a whine when Mike grabbed the device and slowly pulled it out before pushing it back in slightly twisting it and repeating it several times.

 

"You like that?", he breathed into Chester's ear making his lips quiver. He loved the tiny sounds the other made.

 

The singer gulped before he could even say anything. "Mmmm, yeah..."

 

"So you don't really mind if I....", the half Asian said and turned the power up.

 

Chester couldn't even answer. He was drowning in a wonderful warmth that was making his fingers tingle and ears ring. The whining got louder and Mike's lips curled to a smile. He kissed the lips that were so beautiful and swallowed up the whines. The singer was grinding against the mattress wanting some attention for his cock too and bucking up against the Mike's hand that was holding the vibrator. The emcee laughed again pulling the vibrator out.

 

"Hey! That's rude!", the singer groaned but got back to whining when Mike entered him roughly.

 

"Fuck you're tight", Mike muttered more to himself then for the other.

 

The half Asian pinned him against the mattress thrusting in harder. He really wanted to feel just every inch of the other man. He had dreamt it so long that he had been slightly troubled that would it even be that good. But it sure was. Maybe even better. Hot friction surrounding his cock was something more than he could have even imagined making him float in some delirium. The other was whimpering and wriggling under him when he pulled out and slammed back in with force. He was greedy to get what he wanted and was eager to pick up the pace.

 

"Turn around Chazzy. I wanna see your eyes already", he ordered leaning back.

 

Chester spun around freeing his cock from the tight spot it had been in. Mike didn't waste any time and grabbed his hips again digging his fingers painfully to the flesh and pushed again to the delicious warmth. Chester's eyes rolled back when he wrapped his legs around Mike's waist.

 

"God you're amazing", Mike whispered dipping down to kiss the other man.

 

Chester swung his arms over Mike's head which made him rise too when the emcee got back on his knees.

 

"That...", Mike started but the other kissed him fiercely and started to ride his cock and he gasped by surprise.

 

"Wasn't what you planned maybe", Chester breathed arching his back riding faster. It felt so fucking good that he didn't understand why they hadn't done it sooner. Fucking wasted years, he thought.

 

Mike shook his head but didn't really mind. The hot squeeze around his cock was getting unbearable. He leaned back to his arm while his free hand traveled to the hard on rubbing against his abdomen. The singer groaned when the long fingers he loved so much grasped his cock. Mike was already on the edge feeling the climax burn inside him and wanting to get released. Then the singer pulled his hair tilting his head back and gave him the mischievous grin and he spurted his hot seed inside of him with a gasp.

 

He let the singer rode it out of him before he started to stroke his cock quicker while still trying to catch a breath. He sure wasn't going to stop now even though he was exhausted and his thighs were burning. The little whines that erupted from Chester's lips were making his lips curl again to a smile. Oh how he loved that sound. Chester's heart was thudding so fast that he could feel it against his chest. And then his eyes were blazing with joy when he came on Mike's hand growling almost like an animal.

 

They didn't move in long time. Chester tried to come down from the bliss while Mike studied every single little expression and possible emotion showing on his pretty face. The dark lashes fluttering and the small swallows that made his Adam's apple bounce. His soft flushed skin felt amazing against his. Then the singer kissed him not anymore so hungrily, raking still his dark strands with his cuffed hands.

 

"So that was what you had dreamed about", Chester smirked.

 

Mike laughed wholeheartedly his eyes sparking up even more. "Kinda."

 

"You wanna get a shower?", the singer continued.

 

The emcee nodded helping him off of him and finally opened the cuffs.

 

"God... No one will believe you if you say Chester Bennington was cuffed and fucked like that...", the singer chuckled and guided the other to the bathroom.

 

"Were you going to add 'by Mike Shinoda' to that or was it just my imagination?", the half Asian frowned when the singer turned the shower on and stepped in first.

 

"Well... That either", Chester smirked and pulled the other under the hot stream connecting their lips again. He purred when their tongues swiped against each other.

 

"Could we go to sleep before I get all excited again", he laughed after Mike had washed him.

 

The emcee followed him again taking the towel he was given to. Chester collapsed in the bed and pulled the other with him after Mike had dropped the towel.

 

"You think you could do that again someday? Like... quite soon?", the singer blushed wrapping his arms around Mike.

 

Mike chuckled kissing the tip of his nose. "If you tease me enough then that would be the result. Or something else..."

 

"Oh boy", the singer sighed smiling and shaking his head.

 

\-------


	11. The levees are breaking

\------

 

Mike woke up to a soft "Hey". It was the fourth day already and sadly also the night had been their last together. Talinda was coming back that day and they didn't know when would be the next time they would spend a whole night together. But he was happy. He hadn't been that happy in long time. And the beautiful man staring at him when he opened his eyes was the reason for it. Waking up to that sight was heavenly feeling.

 

"Hey to you too", he let the smile spread to his face feeling still groggy. I won't get used to this, he thought feeling the warmth spread to his heart.

 

"Did you sleep well?", Chester trailed his hand to the nape of Mike's neck massaging it with his thumb.

 

"Of course I did. Always with you", the emcee said not ready to get up yet.

 

Chester rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Can I say something?"

 

"Absolutely not. Please continue the yawning instead, that's so cute", Mike grinned.

 

"Ass. I was about to say nice things about you, but now you ruined it", the singer chuckled.

 

Mike kissed his nose making Chester wrinkle it. "Just say it."

 

"I love you. Everything about you. I think... I have never been this happy", the singer breathed.

 

"I think I am floating in some seventh heaven. I was so desperate when I thought my feelings were just... mine. I really don't know what I would have done if the situation would have continued as it was. Don't know how you hid it so that no one noticed. I was literally shattering, as you saw back then", Mike mumbled shaking his head.

 

"Don't worry about it. We're happy now", Chester kissed him pulling him closer. "And speaking of happy, Brad won't be happy if we will be late. So I'll take a shower if you don't mind making some coffee in the meantime? Or join me to shower? I still feel sticky"

 

"Hell no I won't join you", Mike laughed. "Then we certainly would be late. And you would be more sticky after. But coffee I can make."

 

"True. Make it strong. You know I love how you make the coffee", the singer rolled on him staying there lingering. He didn't want to leave the bed when Mike was there. Canceling the studio day sounded just perfect but doing it just cause they would want to stay in bed wouldn't be appropriate. Well, not even smart.

 

"Can I.... I don't know is it too personal and I don't even think it is my place to ask but I still do want to know. Do you... have still sex with Tal?", Mike cleared his throat.

 

"Oh no baby... You know.... God I feel horrible. She's my wife after all. I don't want to. I have tried to guide her thoughts elsewhere or make up some excuses why I don't feel like it. But you know how she is like. She can get crazy jealous. So... Yeah, few times. Don't really think the blow jobs would count, especially when I think about you during", the singer blushed furiously.

 

"Well, she has a reason to be jealous... And sure I am too", Mike mumbled. He was jealous too, even though he knew he didn't really have right to be.

 

The singer sighed heavily. "Yeah, I know the feeling... You know there is no nice way out of this mess? We just have to...suck it up. And you know what else? I think the studio time is what causes the emotions to accumulate. All the stress added to the place and the whole band together there. Then going home after a long day knowing that you go to your own. We are together, but not really together."

 

"So... Are you saying that it will get better?", the emcee asked rubbing his nose.

 

"I think so. Imagine the touring... We just need to be careful that the others don't figure it out but I don't think it would be that hard there. You know, we have shared hotel rooms before", Chester pulled him to a gentle hug.

 

"Maybe you're right. But we have still months to go. We're not even half way. Heck we don't have even one song ready", Mike mumbled nuzzling Chester's neck.

 

"So we do. We need to maybe get some plan. Cause I sure as hell know that I can't keep my hands off of you for all those months", the singer squeezed him.

 

Mike laughed softly. "Yeah..."

 

They stayed like that for a while, enjoying the skin on skin, before Chester groaned and got up to head to the shower. Mike swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stretched. The smile was still tugging his lips even though they were stuck in the mess. He dressed quickly and got down to make the coffee ready. When he passed the bathroom Chester was singing in the shower some silly love song which made him chuckle. Soon Mike poured the steaming water now over the ground coffee beans inhaling the delicious aroma in.

 

"Oh my lord that smells good", the singer was suddenly behind him wrapping his arms around his waist.

 

"Was just thinking the same. But then someone came to hug me and I think that the someone smells even more delicious than the coffee", Mike leaned to grab the take away cups from the cupboard the singer still holding him.

 

Chester chuckled kissing his cheek softly. "Well I will go back to get some clothes on. I'll come to the car soon."

 

Mike nodded and glanced over his shoulder to get a sight of the bare chested man that had a towel hanging low on his hips. One swift move and he could yank it off... But instead he shook his head smiling and poured the coffee to the cups. Next he grabbed his coat knowing that the singer would get their cups and walked out to his car. But the car wasn't starting. He frowned and sighed after trying tenth time. Slamming the door back closed he walked back to the house and fetched his phone from his pocket to call Brad.

 

"Chaz, the car isn't starting. I'll call Brad if you don't want to use one of your fancy ones?", he yelled to the singer that was still upstairs.

 

"No! Call him and we'll call the mechanic when we get to the studio", the singer yelled back.

 

Mike grabbed his coffee and called the guitarist. He was anyway coming to the studio and hopefully not yet there since they were in time.

 

"Hey, my car won't start. Could you pick us on the way? We're at Chester's and his car is at the studio", he said hoping that Brad wouldn't ask any weird questions.

 

"Sure, I was just leaving. Will be there soon", the guitarist answered shortly.

 

Mike sat on the couch sipping from his cup. He tried not to smirk but couldn't do anything else either. Thinking about the past days the smile just didn't fade. All the love he was getting and giving was overwhelming but so exciting.

 

"Is he coming?", the singer was then back downstairs grabbing his coffee too from the table.

 

"Sure, said he would be here soon", Mike glanced at the singer who nodded and swallowed then hard.

 

"Chester no", he sighed then rubbing the bridge of his nose.

 

"What?", the singer arched his brow and walked to the couch.

 

"Please don't say you're going to wear those clothes", the emcee waved at Chester's out wear.

 

The singer was wearing possibly the tightest black skinny jeans he had and a white tank top that revealed generous amount of his sides.

 

And now he twirled around. "You likey?"

 

"Too much. I should be not touching you in studio you know?" Mike smirked.

 

The singer jumped to the couch straddling him. "You're hopeless."

 

"Chazzy.... Really?", the answer was a frustrated groan.

 

"Really....", Chester breathed trailing his hands under Mike's shirt and licking his neck.

 

"You know Brad will be here soon. I don't really want to go and open the door with a visible bulge", the other mumbled groping his ass.

 

Chester chuckled pushing his lips on Mike's and next his tongue inside his mouth.

 

"Are you trying to tease me again?", Mike again mumbled when he got a chance. "Cause you know where that will lead."

 

"Or maybe that's just my intention", the singer smirked and leaned to kiss his neck again stretching the collar of his shirt to get more skin available and grazing then softly his collarbone with his teeth.

 

Mike purred first throwing his head back but then grabbed the singer and turned to toss him under him. Chester yelped in surprise but chuckled then when the soft lips met his. He wrapped his leg around Mike's waist pulling him closer.

 

"Fuuuuck....", Mike moaned quietly when their groins bumped together.

 

"Oh you likey again?", the singer had again the devilish grin on.

 

The other rolled his eyes laughing. "Yes me likey again. A lot."

 

Chester grabbed Mike's hair again pulling him into a rough kiss.

 

And then it happened. The thing they weren't expecting to happen even though when they both feared it. They didn't hear that the front door opened since they were concentrating to each other. The load thud following a slam and a gasp were the noises that interrupted them. And the fall down from the seventh heaven was hard. Chester went totally white feeling his heart skip a beat. Or beats. Mike froze feeling that he would break down to tears any minute.

 

"What the fuck?", Talinda screeched.

 

Mike stumbled up feeling his cheeks burn. Only thing that he was glad was that his pants were loose enough to hide probably his bulge and Chester's tight enough to not let it show. They didn't know what to say or what to do. Knowing that probably anything they did would either do nothing or make it worse. The scenario Mike had thought started to play in his head like a movie. He stood up trying not to glance at the singer who looked mortified.

 

But Talinda didn't wait for them to say anything. She charged on Mike screaming and throwing her fists in the air, "You fucking piece of shit! How dare you!"

 

One punch landed on Mike's face making him yelp and step back before Chester got a grip from his wife pulling her away.

 

"Stop!", he yelled pushing the woman away from Mike.

 

"Why the hell should I?!", she was screaming now to Chester.

 

Mike was holding his bleeding nose. He didn't want to witness the whole situation but there he was knowing this was just the first time it would happen. Cause there was no way Talinda wouldn't tell Anna that she saw them grinding and kissing.

 

"And don't fucking tell me that you can explain! You can't explain why you were kissing your friend. And in what way! You looked like you would fuck him next!", she continued furiously.

 

"No... Really, don't say anything. I can't deal with this now. But wait, just wait, when your wife hears about this!", she ended directing the last words for Mike and rushed then upstairs.

 

Chester glanced at the emcee and only now noticing his bleeding nose. "Shit..."

 

Getting an ice pack for him he stared straight to his eyes feeling so sorry. "Does it hurt? I'm sorry that I couldn't stop her. I thought she would hit me."

 

Mike pushed his lips to a tight line shakin his head slowly, letting the singer wipe the blood from his nose while he pressed the ice on the bridge. "It's not your fault. We knew the risks."

 

They heard the woman slam doors and cupboards and then run back downstairs.

 

She froze when she saw them again so intimate. "You really are something Mike. I would have never believed... not in a million years that you would.... He is my husband!"

 

Then the doorbell rang. Mike looked Chester, and the singer looked back to him both thinking the same thing, Fuck, that's Brad. Chester gulped and went to open the door.

 

"The hell takes so long? I have been waiting for... Uhm... Why is Mike's nose bleeding?", he frowned when he noticed the emcee standing further in the living room.

 

Chester was just about to come up an excuse when Talinda decided she didn't have anything to lose.

 

"Cause I punched him", she said picking up her bag that she had just packed in addition to the other she came back home with.

 

Brad's eyes widened cause he really couldn't figure out any reason why. "Uhm... Why would you hit Mike?"

 

"Yeah... Well ask him why would he cheat his wife and fuck my husband. Cause that's apparently what they have been doing", she said her voice bitter.

 

"Talinda!", Chester gasped now angry too.

 

"What? I. don't. fucking. care. Now if you excuse me I need to meet my best friend. There's something she needs to hear", the woman squinted her eyes and passed the guitarist.

 

Brad stood there dumbfounded thinking did he hear it all correctly. Chester couldn't believe his wife had turned into this vicious revengeful bitch she never had been before. And Mike... he was standing still in the living room shaking and swallowing his tears.

 

\------


	12. Fine line between this and that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the Brad character in this story. Somebody has to be the bad guy...

\---------

 

After the encounter Brad stared at them like he would have wanted to say "Can we go already?" so they followed him to the car Mike still holding the ice on his nose. Chester didn't dare to say anything. Not to Mike, nor to Brad. He was afraid what it could cause. They drove to the studio in complete silence and when they got there same silence continued. They walked in and Mike tossed the melted ice to a bin. It was useless now anyway.

 

"Wha...", Joe started but was shut up by the stern look Chester gave him.

 

Rob frowned but didn't say anything. They changed looks with Dave and got back to where they were before the three came in.

 

They worked for hours perfectly normally. Well, normally as in no one dared to take up the subject why the emcee had bruises slowly forming under his eyes. Chester wanted to grab him and kiss him and say how sorry he was. He could feel how hurt Mike was. Not just cause if the hit but cause of this all going down like a thunderstorm.

 

"Fuck. I can't take this anymore", Brad groaned suddenly tossing his pen aside.

 

"Brad no, please", Chester shook his head.

 

"Cut the crap Chester! Was she telling the truth when she said you two have been fucking?", he stared at them both ignoring the gasps around the room.

 

Dave almost choked to his Coke. He was certain he didn't hear that right. "What!?"

 

Mike was mortified. It was literally exactly what he didn't want to happen.

 

"And if not why the hell she said so? And don't try to make up some pathetic excuses", the guitarist continued his eyes piercing.

 

Chester glanced at Mike who stared at the floor. There was no way around this. They could deny but Talinda would still eventually win and convince them all that she was talking the truth. What would the point even be in denying?

 

"Yes", he breathed and felt the half Asian tense up next to him.

 

Brad rolled his eyes on the verge of fuming. "Yes what? Fucking?"

 

"Yes we have been fucking", the singer mumbled. Saying the word out loud felt so gruesome, so dirty. Cause it wasn't that, not only.

 

"And apparently Anna doesn't know either? Yet.", the guitarist stared now the emcee who shook his head.

 

"This isn't really happening. You two... No", Joe shook his head suspicious.

 

Chester glanced him briefly not really wanting to see all the emotions showing in their eyes.

 

"Mike. That's cheating. You're married", Brad's voice was low and stretched thin.

 

"You think I don't know that?!", Mike gasped. He knew they were going to pour it all in them. They were cheating, they were guilty. But it still sounded so juvenile.

 

"I don't really know what you know. I thought I knew you better. What the fuck made you think this would be okay? And with Chester?! He is married too! God!", the guitarist was really mad.

 

Chester was feeling the guitarist wasn't being fair. Sure they had known longest time but he was still as guilty as the emcee.

 

"Brad stop it. He knows it isn't okay", he mumbled.

 

"I really don't give a shit what you have to say. You can't defend him", Brad turned his burning eyes to the singer.

 

Chester growled, "Yes I can. It is as my fault as it's his."

 

Dave threw his hands in the air. "I'm done". And just like that left the studio.

 

Mike felt like he was about to burst into tears but the small touch from Chester kept him from not crumbling down.

 

The gasp that Joe let after that hurt him even more. "Fuck..."

 

"So. Now Talinda knows. I assume you two were caught in the act, right?", Brad rubbed his temples.

 

Chester sighed. "Kissing."

 

"Well that's the silver lining. Don't even want to think what it would feel like to actually see your husband fucking his friend. Which is also his bandmate. Or was it other way around? The fucking I mean", the guitarist's slur was hurting Mike as much as he intended it to.

 

"Brad screw you! How dare you talk to him like that!", the singer was about to charge at him but Mike grabbed his hand before he had a chance.

 

"Oh he knows it was coming...", Brad looked at the emcee with despise. "So Talinda knows. Next Anna knows. And then Tal will talk with the press. And that's pretty much it."

 

"She wouldn't.. She isn't like that", Chester shook his head in disbelief.

 

Brad sneered. "Are you two really that fucking stupid? Of course she will. She has nothing to lose now. 'She isn't like that'... Well I thought that Mike wouldn't be the type to cheat his wife. But it happened anyway."

 

Mike held his breath. He hadn't thought that Talinda would really be that person. He glanced at Chester who had a glimpse of horror in his eyes.

 

"Yeah. Think about that", the guitarist said his voice gloomy and angry. "And we haven't even got to the point that you two betrayed the whole band. Was there even a tiny moment there when you thought that maybe you should tell that you're fucking your bandmate to the rest of your so called friends?"

 

Joe tossed his notepad aside. "I'm not going to listen to this." And walked out from the studio too.

 

"Brad really?! He feels already bad enough!", Chester screamed at him. Brad was one thing but he was also confused why the deejay and the bassist had left. Were they mad at them or were they just reluctant to listen to Brad yell at them.

 

"Yes really! He really should have thought that before he.... I have every right to be angry! Fuck! I can't even look at you two", the guitarist screamed back his face red.

 

"I can't believe this. I really thought I knew you better Mike. This was probably the last thing I would have thought you would do. Yeah", he shook his head and left the studio too.

 

After few moment they heard another 'fuck' being yelled outside and apparently a trash bin being thrown. Mike cringed glad that the guitarist decided to direct most of his anger to the bin.

 

And then there was only the drummer left. Rob hadn't said a single word the whole time. They both sighed and turned to look at him waiting for him to either leave silently or just yell like Brad did.

 

"Why?", the drummer mumbled.

 

Chester frowned shifting on the couch. "Why what?"

 

"Why were you two... you know", the mumble continued.

 

The singer glanced at Mike and smiled. "Cause I love him."

 

Rob nodded and inhaled. "And... You love Chester? You weren't just..."

 

"Yes I love him too. Have loved. For years", Mike sighed trying to smile but not really feeling like in that mess.

 

The drummer stopped to think for a while. "Okay. Well... I think they just need time. It isn't that easy when you hear your bandmates were...". He certainly wasn't going to say that word.

 

"How... are you so... okay?", Chester muttered.

 

"It's always the quiet ones, right? Besides, there is nothing that could conquer love", he said smiling and winking his eye.

 

"But. You really need to talk to Talinda before the shit hits the fan. If she shares her story with the press we can't downplay it. And if she really is as angry as I would assume she will probably make up some dirty details so that you two would look as bad as possible. But don't worry about Brad. I'll talk to him later. He will be mad a long time but I think he will eventually understand that it... well... we'll see", he said and left them alone.

 

"Shit", Chester groaned rubbing the bridge of his nose.

 

He turned to face the emcee that was staring in front of him his expression blank.

 

"You know that fucking asshole, he shouldn't...", he started but was stopped by the emcee.

 

"Don't Chester. He has every right to be mad", Mike shook his head.

 

Chester agreed but he felt that the delivery was too harsh. And only directed at Mike.

 

"Would you... well maybe text Anna that you two need to talk. I really don't... Fuck. I hope Talinda tells what she saw and doesn't add stuff to it. I thought I... She isn't like that", he mumbled not really knowing what to think about her now.

 

"I already got a message from her but I didn't read it yet", Mike sighed and grabbed his phone.

 

He leaned to the singer letting him wrap his arm around his shoulders and kiss the top of his head.

 

"Don't come home today", the text said.

 

Yup, she knows, he thought beating himself inwardly.

 

"Kinda guessed that", the singer mumbled.

 

Mike shook his head glancing up at Chester. "You know, I don't even care. It hasn't been my home for a long time. And it isn't like I wouldn't have money to get another house. Oh... Wait. That's my house anyway. She owns only some furniture. God, too much to think. My mind is exploding."

 

"Yeah... Well I guess Tal is staying at your house so you are of course welcome back at my house", the singer kissed the tip of his nose.

 

"I just hope she doesn't tear all my stuff apart", Mike groaned.

 

"Don't think she won't. Let's just leave and call the mechanic so we can get the car fixed. And then do something nice for the rest of the day okay? To keep our minds off of the situation. We can't really do anything now and they all need time to calm down", the singer tried to smile and pulled him up from the couch.

 

Mike sighed but followed the other anyway. Back at Chester's he called a mechanic and then sat on the couch.

 

"Really the worst way for them to find out", Chester shook his head.

 

The half Asian nodded crossing his legs. "Well... Now they all know and we just... need to do some damage control."

 

"Are you okay?", the singer sat down facing him.

 

"Not really. But there's nothing really to help it", Mike hung his head low.

 

"I'm here anyway. I love you", Chester whispered grabbing him to a hug.

 

"That kinda helps", Mike closed his eyes squeezing the other.

 

\------


	13. Saying this is what you get

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just drama, lol

\---------

 

When Chester woke up the next day he was alone. Frowning he slipped from under the covers and put his feet on the cold floor. He couldn't hear a shower so he assumed Mike was probably making breakfast. He walked to the kitchen but noticed that Mike was sitting cross legged on the couch staring at his phone.

 

"What are you doing?", the singer sat beside him stroking his leg softly.

 

Mike sighed. "Well... Thinking really. How we fix this mess."

 

"Oh... Have you come up with any plans?", Chester lifted his arm placing it around the other's shoulders.

 

"Not really. I think I need to talk with Anna but otherwise... maybe we need to let the dust settle. I just wish I would know what they think. Like... I know they are mad but is Brad mad like he doesn't want to see us ever again or mad like he will forgive us eventually. Or me. I think me more than you. And maybe you don't want that all", Mike answered his words turning to a mumble.

 

Chester sighed pulling the other against him. "No, we are still in the same boat. Brad might be more mad at you but that's because you two have known each other longer, way longer than us two. I don't know will he forgive you. I really don't know. But... I think that a friend would forgive. It could take a long time though. And maybe we... need to prepare to what if- situations. Rob said he would talk with Brad, right? Let him handle it. He could tell you then if and when Brad is ready to talk with you."

 

"Yeah... Maybe. How about the others? Maybe cause they... well you saw it. It isn't always that the yelling is the worst reaction", Mike leaned to Chester.

 

"I don't know. It has been barely a day. If we don't know how we feel about this all and what is the next step how would they", the singer kissed the top of Mike's head brushing his cheek with his fingertips.

 

Mike bit his lip. "I really don't want anything to change. Or... well I am happy that divorce is the next step. God, it will be messy too. And what if... she does something and... And Talinda! She hates me now!"

 

"Stop it. You can't know what they think, do or feel. Not really. But that reminds me that I do have to speak with Talinda before she does something", the singer groaned.

 

"Okay... Yeah, I agree. What if I call Anna cause Talinda is probably there?", the half Asian muttered.

 

"Text her. She won't probably answer if you call. Texting gives her more time to react", Chester gave a small kiss on his cheek.

 

Mike nodded and wrote a message. Which was what he had been trying to all along ever since he woke up.

 

"Hey. We need to talk. Is Talinda there?"

 

Then he lifted his knees up pressing them against his chest and leaned to the singer who was playing with his hair. Chester always knew how to calm him down and it was working again. Soon his phone made a small "blim" and he exhaled before reading it.

 

"Don't really have anything to say. I need more time. Yes, she is here. She wants you to know that she doesn't want to see you when she comes in few hours to pick up some clothes. She will stay here as long as she wants to. And she is pissed. Really, really pissed."

 

"Nice. Fuck", Mike mumbled sarcastically showing the message for the singer.

 

"Okay... Well. Guess that's the best then. You could do some groceries in the meanwhile? She shouldn't be here long if she is only going to pick up some clothes", the singer sighed.

 

"After yesterday I am afraid to leave you alone with her. Especially if she is still angry. Well why shouldn't she be but...", Mike said feeling instant burn on his nose.

 

Chester shook his head. "I think I am stronger than her. Besides that was her first instinct. I assume she has calmed at least tiny bit. And I have to speak with her. If Brad is right and she talks... it will destroy us. As a band more than anything."

 

"You think we couldn't survive that? If she talks with the press?", the half Asian was sure of it, he just wanted that the singer would say it out loud.

 

"I wouldn't know it. It really depends of so many things what we could handle as a band. Affair? Maybe. Cheating of two wives? I don't think so. The fans would hate us. But I think it also matters how it is told. You know, they can be really mean or then write it as the greatest love story of the century... And even if she is mad... I really didn't marry an asshole. I believe she has at least some morals and if she talks with the press she will regret it later. But us two? We can survive anything. We'll get through this, no matter what happens. I didn't throw away years just so that I could watch it all come undone and then stop there. So don't give up okay? I'm not leaving", Chester pulled him to a kiss.

 

"I love you so much. I just hate this situation", the emcee breathed clinging on to the other.

 

"So do I. We'll just... one step at the time, right? Call Rob and ask does he have any advices while you do the shopping? And enough so that we can just watch stupid movies and eat for even a week if nothing else happens. Guess a break from the record making is good too", the singer smiled to him having a strong feeling inside that they would make it. If only they would fight for what they had.

 

The emcee nodded returning the smile and started to leave. Chester got up to pick up his phone and make some breakfast. But first he walked back to the bedroom and changed his clothes. Or more like put some on since he really didn't want to meet Talinda wearing only his boxers. Then he got to the kitchen and the coffee going first and then opened the fridge to see what there was.

 

After he had eaten he heard the door open and rolled his eyes. Sure I do hear that now, but not yesterday when I should have heard it, he mocked himself inwardly. He stopped on his tracks the coffee cup in his hand and turned to face Talinda. And she did looked pissed. She had obviously cried a lot but her eyes were filled with hatred.

 

"I didn't come here to talk. So don't even bother", she stopped him when he opened his mouth to say something.

 

"But we still do need to talk", he sighed when the woman walked to the bedroom.

 

He followed her carefully waiting for the blow up. She had stopped in the bedroom door staring at the bed which Chester didn't bother to make after they had woken up with the emcee.

 

"Are you serious?!", she yelled pointing at the bed.

 

Oh, yeah... Sure we slept here and not on the guest room, he thought feeling uncomfortable.

 

"I know you're mad but that's just... you are clinging on to little things. It shouldn't matter where we sleep", he mumbled staring at the woman who was now folding up some clothes to a neat pile.

 

She didn't say anything for a while. Biting her lip she obviously was trying not to freak out.

 

"Yeah. Until yesterday I thought this was our bed. I really shouldn't be surprised but I thought you had even some decency in you", her voice was strained.

 

"So pretend that...", he raised his voice and was about to say "I don't love you", but realized it would just hurt. Even if the woman was mad it didn't mean she wasn't hurt. She was probably mad cause she was hurt. And he didn't need to make him more hurt than she already was.

 

She glanced at him her eyes piercing but she didn't answer. Chester decided he has now chance to talk. Even if she doesn't want to hear it she can't just shut down and not listen.

 

"I know you're pissed. But I still think we need to figure this out alone. Not mess other people in this", he mumbled.

 

"I thought Brad already figured out yesterday. Which makes me assume the others will know soon if they don't yet", she frowned.

 

Chester rolled his eyes. "Sure he did. You really couldn't have been more clearer. And the rest know too. I was talking about our families. Fans, press.. All that."

 

Her laugh was like needles pushed under his nails. "Oh really? Now you say that! You should have thought it before you started to fuck you friend."

 

"Do you have to be so vulgar and mean?! Do you really think that I would have thrown away years of relationship just to fuck someone?", he groaned.

 

She was finally ready with he piles of clothes and went to fetch a bag for them leaving him standing there alone again. Blue, yellow, pink. The piles were like rainbows. Chester's eyes wandered to the jewelry she had placed neatly on top of the pile and couldn't help but to wonder where would she need all of them.

 

"I really wouldn't know. You should have thought about us, but guess you didn't", she got back and placed the clothes in the bag and the jewelry to a smaller pocket.

 

"Us? There really was no us. Not in long time, you know that", Chester shook his head.

 

"And you think this was a correct way to deal with that?", she laughed again.

 

"Oh fuck you Tal! I already told you I wouldn't throw it all away just for a fuck. I get that you're hurt. And pissed, what ever. And I don't blame you for that. But really? Stirring shit just to get me pissed too and to yell at you doesn't correct it", he yelled.

 

She walked away to the bathroom now leaving him to throw his hands in the air. Calm down, this is exactly what she wants, he tried to remind himself.

 

"So I ask you, please do not talk with the press. I can't force you not to, but they dig up all the shit there is to dig up. Even if you say that the divorce was cause I cheated they dig up who I cheated you with. And when Anna... You know that. It isn't a solution that you throw us all to the wolves and then drown your tears to a wine bottle when it all gets torn apart. Cause that is what it will lead to. Lives torn apart", he tried to remain calm.

 

"Yeah, divorce...", she mumbled. "Yesterday when I was driving back home I couldn't wait to be back here. To see you. And now... You make me sick. This isn't what I thought you were. I loved you. I loved you so much and then you just rip me apart."

 

"I know. I loved you too", he sighed.

 

She looked at him a moment of compassion in her eyes before the hatred was back. "So fuck you. You don't get to tell me what to do. Not anymore. If I want the media to break down the stupid band of yours and all your lives then.. you'll see. I don't give a shit."

 

He heard the front door being pushed closed and he again kicked himself inwardly that it is too late to hear it.

 

"That's Mike right? Assuming the others are not really talking to you", she grinned her eyes bleak.

 

"Which you made happen. Not me, you two", she reminded him.

 

"Yeah. That's what you get when you fall in love when you are not supposed to", he whispered.

 

"Just leave okay? If you really think talking to a press is a solution...", he started and noticed then Mike at the doorway.

 

Mike had a glimpse of jealousy in his eyes but when he saw how mad Talinda was he felt instantly bad for Chester. And he knew he didn't have anything to be jealous about, it just was the first instinct. He formed "You okay?", with his mouth when the woman was staring at the floor and received and sad smile from the other.

 

"Okay. You two have fun or what ever you think it is to destroy lives. I'll give Anna your regards", she picked up her bag and stared at the emcee.

 

Mike gulped and got out of the way letting the furious woman pass. They stood silently waiting for the front door to slam shut. Once it did the singer sighed heavily and groaned then.

 

"How did it go?", Mike mumbled.

 

"As I assumed it to go. Not good. She first didn't want to talk but then she got mad that we had slept in our bed. Which for me was more like digging up stuff to be mad about so that she could avoid the actual subject. And when I told her that there had been no 'us' with her in a long time she thought that having sex with you had been my solution. Heck, she probably believes we had arranged that so I could get divorce easier! And she wasn't even supposed to come back that early! Then she told that she doesn't give a shit if telling the press tears us all apart. She just wanted to get me mad. And now I am mad!", the singer yelled tossing a night stand across the room.

 

Mike sighed leaping in front of the other and pulling him to his lap. Chester broke down in tears wailing against Mike's neck. The emcee hushed him stroking his tense back muscles.

 

"Remember what you told me earlier today? What ever happens we will get through this. You are not leaving me, but I won't leave you either", he whispered in Chester's ear.

 

Slowly the singer calmed down his breathing getting steady again. He squeezed the other hard before pushing him away from him.

 

"Fuck. Sorry, she really knows how to push my buttons. Did you call to Rob?", he tried to smile and let Mike wipe his cheeks from the salty tears.

 

"Yeah... Not good. He had talked only with Dave. He had said that he needs some time to get his thoughts organized. But Rob said he didn't sound angry. Joe doesn't answer his phone at all", Mike sighed.

 

"What about Brad?", the singer frowned.

 

"He... had told Rob to go fuck himself and not try to act like some referee. He said he is beyond angry and not willing to talk with us yet, but when he is he wants me to call him- not Rob on my behalf", the half Asian shook his head.

 

"Nice. Well now I'm getting angry cause he talked like that to Robbie who is just trying to help", Chester groaned.

 

"Nah, he knows where he put his nose into. He said if we need to talk we can call him anytime. He will keep his eyes on the social media and we should just try to rest. Oh and update him tomorrow what Talinda said cause I told him that she was coming over. We agreed that we shouldn't mix the management to this mess yet. Only if she tells to the press", Mike told him.

 

Chester nodded sighing. "Okay. God I hate this. Wish we could just fast forward to the point when this all is over."

 

"No skipping stuff. I think we need this so we don't make same mistakes again. It would have been all too peachy anyway, something had to happen. Besides now we don't have to hide anymore, so guess that's a good thing too. Now come on and show me where everything is. I want to make pizza for you and your kitchen is weird", Mike grinned pulling the other with him.

 

"It's not! Everything is nicely organized. By me", the other rolled his eyes.

 

"As I said- weird", the half Asian chuckled and received a slap on his ass and loud backtalk.

 

\------


	14. Only organized confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for the sex

\-----

 

Almost a week had passed since the incident and they were still on 'lockdown' as Mike joked. They haven't heard from the other band members except Rob since. The wives haven't called either and Chester was rather happy that he didn't have to talk with Talinda. Even when he knew they needed to have proper talk later he was still reluctant. It would just end up to they both being mad. After the last time Mike had cleaned the table Chester threw and then even apologized even though it was totally his own fault and Mike had nothing to do with it.

 

"I'm bored", he sighed tossing a magazine he had been reading on a table.

 

It was already evening and they were sitting in the living room just trying to get the time pass.

 

"That's what happens when a musician has some days off... What do you wanna do? We sure could go out", the half Asian asked.

 

"Nah. Partying isn't what I need now. Dunno. This whole situation is so depressing", the other mumbled.

 

Mike sighed pulling the other under his arm. "You haven't even been to the gym for almost a week. No wonder you're bored."

 

"But... I was thinking... Should I call Brad? What if he does want me to call and apologize. That could be exactly what we need", he continued playing with Chester's ear jewelry. He loved when the singer used shiny jewelry, but now he had plain black plugs which suited him excellently too.

 

"Are you sure? What if he needs more time?", the singer frowned.

 

"Maybe. Could be. But we can't know that unless we call", Mike tried to rationalize. None of this really made sense but without communicating he wouldn't know how to make things better.

 

The singer nodded not being sure at all about it. "If that's what you think should be done then I will stay here and give some background support."

 

"That...", Mike grinned.

 

"Wasn't supposed to be ambiguous", the other rolled his eyes and kissed the chuckling emcee's cheek.

 

Mike picked up his phone from the table and searched for Brad's name. His nerves were killing him but if he wouldn't do it he would think about it the rest of the day.

 

Brad picked up after a while with just regular 'Yeah'.

 

"Sorry... I... I really don't know should I have called now or waited longer but we do need to talk", the half Asian tried not to mumble.

 

"Waited longer for what", Brad said bluntly.

 

"For you to not be mad at us", Mike sighed already not liking where this was going.

 

"Were you thinking like day more? Or two days? Maybe even week? Mike. I really honestly don't fucking care", the guitarist laughed gloomily.

 

"You don't care? Of what?", Mike gasped. The other was way more mad than he thought he would be.

 

"About your apologies. You can't fix this just saying you're sorry. Cause that's where this is going, right?", Brad muttered.

 

"Are you saying that you are going to throw away of over twenty years of friendship cause...?", the half Asian squeezed Chester's hand.

 

"No. You did it. I don't care if you're gay. I don't care if you are fucking Chester. Even cheating I can deal with even though I would never have believed you would be cheater. But lying... I was your best friend and you lied to me", the guitarist tried to remain calm even though he just wanted to yell.

 

"I know I screwed up. I just wish you could maybe.... I don't know. I didn't even think then that telling would be an option. It all happened so fast", Mike sighed feeling the singer nuzzle his neck. Chester was feeling his anxiety.

 

"Yeah. That's the problem, you didn't. But now you have lots of time to think. And save the bullshit for Rob. As I said- I don't care", Brad said and hung up.

 

But what Mike and Chester didn't know that at that moment Brad flew his phone across the room and broke into tears. He felt betrayed and that was an emotion he couldn't handle.

 

"Sorry", the singer sighed and kissed Mike's cheek.

 

"I know. I just... Fuck. He was my best friend and this is all my fault. But....", Mike groaned feeling frustrated.

 

"I don't want to... You know take our side on this, and not think the rest of them, but we have to remember that telling back then would have probably just lead us into this same situation. Really. Think about it. Wouldn't have helped our wives. Not really. Getting caught like that is of course the worst that could have happened but if we would have told... what then? They would have still gone mad", Chester tried to explain what he was thinking. 

 

"And Brad? We had still lied and hidden it. It's not like we would have told him instantly 'Hey Brad I'm in love with your best friend'. And honestly even if he says we should have told sooner, what difference does it really make? He might say that it would have been best but we can't know what he really would have reacted like. Sounds so easy when someone says what to do. To say afterwards how we should have done it all then, cause this whole mess makes us all uncomfortable. Easier to 'what if' than deal with this shit what we now have", he continued grabbing Mike's phone and placing it on the table.

 

"I know you're right. But... Yeah, there's still but. And what about Dave and Joe? Should I call them too? If I don't, would they think like... I don't care about what they feel? Cause I do!", the emcee groaned again.

 

"Mike don't. You're just making it harder for yourself. Like I said before we can't know. We do need to talk with them too but I am pretty sure they won't blame you for not calling yet. Besides Rob already tried, remember? We will talk again with Brad later also. Or I think I could try it next time. But now I want you to try to toss that shit aside for a while. We should make the most of our time. Soon, I hope, we will be back on the studio and then we don't have time to enjoy ourselves. And now I need more coffee", Chester squeezed him giving a wet smooch on his cheek.

 

Mike rolled his eyes and smiled. He knew the singer was right, again. "Okay.. fine. When you became so smart?"

 

"Probably same time some certain handsome man I love told me he is in love with me too", the singer gave a warm chuckle while they walked to the kitchen.

 

Mike laughed and watched the singer. Chester in kitchen was something he could watch all day. The singer had certain habit how he did it all. Just something so small as making coffee was captivating when Chester was doing it.

 

"Why are you staring at me?", Chester frowned after a while when he got the coffee done and finally turned around.

 

"Because you're so amazing. And hot, definitely hot too", the half Asian laughed.

 

"Really? That's interesting. What particularly?", the singer smirked playfully and walked towards the other making him back down against the fridge.

 

"Well you know... I like your ass. But that you know already", Mike chuckled feeling the hands on his sides.

 

Chester tilted his head still smirking. "And?"

 

"Your skin. It's so beautiful against mine. And the tattoos...", the other trailed his hands along Chester's stopping to admire the flames.

 

"Oh... Well look at your tanned skin next to mine, it sure is pretty too. And then?", the singer felt the excitement tingle in the back of his neck.

 

Mike breathed staring at the singer straight into his eyes. "And your eyes. I feel I could sink on them. Then I love your smile. It's so genuine and it always makes me feel better."

 

"And?", Chester's voice was raspy and low when he pressed Mike to the fridge shoving their lower bodies together.

 

"Your hands feel so good on me. And your lips... They are so soft", the half Asian mumbled when the singer's hands were under his shirt caressing the skin over his ribcages and trailing forward to the nipples. 

 

Then the shirt was already being pulled off and Mike gasped. Chester pushed their lips together softly wanting to get a taste.

 

"Like that? And then?", he whispered when he pulled away leaving just an inch between their lips.

 

Mike swallowed hard when Chester grabbed his wrists pulling his hands above his head and pinning them tightly against the fridge and licked his neck enjoying the slightly salty taste of Mike's skin.

 

"Yeah... The tongue feels amazing too", he whispered feeling his pants tighten over his growing bulge.

 

"I bet it does...", Chester nibbled his earlobe grinding his groin to Mike's. "And then?"

 

The emcee moaned to the sensation arching his back. Chester didn't however release the hard grip on Mike's wrists even when the other was pulling his hands.

 

"And I love your cock. In my mouth, in my hands, inside me", he mumbled trying to stretch out to reach the singer and kiss him, but Chester pulled just further away grinning.

 

"Keep talking like that and you will feel it soon", he chuckled and gave a lick on the now pouting lips.

 

"And you stop teasing me", Mike groaned trying to pull his hands free again. The singer might have been skinny but the gym had built him strong.

 

"Awwww... Poor Mike.... You remember how this ended up last time?", the other licked his lower lip still just continuing with the teasing.

 

Mike rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Me getting a nice payback."

 

"Well I was talking about the rest of the evening really... You being totally frustrated", the singer bit the lip almost hard enough to draw blood.

 

"Well fuck you Chaz", Mike laughed.

 

The singer released Mike's other hand and pulled him away from the fridge. He twisted then the other arm behind Mike's back still keeping the grip on the wrist and whispered in his ear, "Nah. I think it is fuck Mike today." 

 

Mike felt the shivers run down his spine when the hot breath hit his ear and Chester pulled him away from the kitchen directing them to the bedroom kissing him.

 

"You sure do like the fridge don't you?", Mike mumbled grinning when they reached the room and he was pushed on the bed.

 

"Or the fact that it is perfect place to tease you", Chester winked his eye while he pulled his shirt off.

 

"But please stop the teasing already. Can't take it anymore", Mike arched his brow and started to pull his pants away continuing then with the boxers.

 

The singer pulled his own pants away and crawled on top of the other squeezing his nipples gently between his fingers. "Oh really? You don't like when I tease you?"

 

"I love when you tease me. But when the line has been crossed... I just want you to fuck me", the half Asian gasped when Chester moved lower and bit carefully his thigh.

 

"Well that I can see", the singer chuckled staring at Mike's rock hard member that was throbbing just inches away from his face.

 

He gave it a long lick from bottom to the tip making the emcee hold his breath. Then, with one smooth move he engulfed it not leaving any time for Mike to get used to the feeling. Mike moaned to the sensation of the hot wet cavern swallowing him and gripped to the sheets.

 

"Chester please... I can't take it any longer. Just fuck me already", he whimpered.

 

The singer rolled his eyes and released his cock leaving a trickle of saliva on his his jaw. "God you're impatient today."

 

"Just horny. And it's totally your fault", Mike mumbled watching the other pull his own boxers off and crawl then back on top of him.

 

"I really, really like when you tell me what you love about me. So it is kinda your fault, you started it. But please do continue with that...", the singer licked few of his fingers slowly and sensually making sure Mike was looking.

 

"I think I need another payback after this", the other grunted watching the wet fingers that were just before his eyes and then disappeared between their bodies.

 

Chester smirked pushing them inside of him while the other wriggled under him. "Maybe... So you like this too?"

 

"Yes Chester. I love your fingers inside me too", Mike's voice was strangled.

 

The singer scissored his fingers while he closed the gap between their faces and placed his hungry lips on Mike's. The other purred in his mouth squeezing his biceps wanting more.

 

"Please... I beg you...", Mike whined when Chester broke the kiss.

 

The other chuckled again pulling his fingers out reaching the lube. Which had found a perfect place on a bedside table. He poured a nice amount on his hand and spread it on his cock while Mike seemed like he couldn't even remain still. Then he stopped to look at the perfect sight in front of him. The emcee spreading his legs totally willing and waiting and biting his lower lip just to keep himself quiet. Carefully he adjusted himself on Mike's entrance before shoving in. Mike gasped to the sharp feeling even though he knew that was exactly what he wanted.

 

"Relax", Chester leaned over him kissing his lips softly.

 

Mike nodded after a while giving the other a permission to move. Chester trailed his hands under Mike's thighs gesturing him to wrap his leg around his thin waist. The other obeyed eagerly and Chester thrusted in in another angle and picked up the pace.

 

"Fucking hell", he gasped tensing up when the singer suddenly hit the perfect spot.

 

"You like that too?", Chester grinned when Mike stared at him his mouth in a o- shape. He embraced the moment wanting to remember it forever.

 

"Yes. Do it again please?", Mike swallowed hard feeling the burning desire.

 

Chester smiled trying to mimic his previous actions making Mike moan in pleasure.

 

"Honey you feel way too good", he mumbled wondering why he had to tease the other so long. "Even though it was you who was supposed to handle the talking now."

 

"Can't really talk now", the emcee gasped feeling the familiar squeeze in his abdomen.

 

"I could laugh to that but...", Chester thrusted in harder and tangled his fingers in Mike's hair kissing the quivering lips.

 

Mike moaned in Chester's mouth when the grip on his hair got harder forcing him to tilt his head. The rock hard member thrusting in and out of him was getting too much for him and the other could feel it too.

 

"Shit", Mike whimpered when Chester's hand found his cock clasping on to and started to pump it fast. The other knew way too well what he wanted.

 

"Yeah... I thought you would like that too", Chester sucked his neck leaving small red marks behind while the emcee continued with his whimpering and wriggling.

 

He tried to push in as deep as he could when he felt the fire burning, ready to be released.

 

"Oh my fucking god I love you", he pushed in losing the rhythm that he had had so hard time building up.

 

"That's so cliché", Mike grinned but then the singer pulled his hair making him moan.

 

"It would also be such a cliché if you would come same time with me", the other answered staring at him dead serious. His eyes were more like commanding than wondering.

 

Mike swallowed hard nodding then. This was absolutely naughty but he loved it. The singer watched him while he thrusted in and pumped his hand spreading the precum under his thumb. There was no way Chester could have done it all in perfect rhythm, it had gone way beyond that. But it felt amazing anyway. 

 

The emcee whimpered squeezing his legs harder feeling himself falling from somewhere far above. Chester leaned to kiss him while his vision blurred and he spurted his cum all over their abdomens and Chester's hand. The hot wetness tightening around Chester's cock was too much and he came hard inside the emcee screaming.

 

"My poor eardrums", Mike cringed playfully after they both had gotten their breathing steady.

 

Chester rolled his eyes. "Sorry. You should have gotten used to that by now. That was... well I think I will tease you more often from now on."

 

Mike grunted and slapped him smirking. Chester pulled away from him and rolled beside him feeling totally exhausted. They stayed silent for a long time just staring and drowning into each other's eyes. Mike wished he could someday really explain how much he loved Chester, so that he could also feel it. Words were always just words.

 

"Why is your phone keeping that noise?", he kissed softly Mike's cheek grabbing his hand and laced their fingers together.

 

Mike stopped to listen. His phone was on his pants' pocket and the pants were on the floor so the buzzing sounded louder against the hard floor. "Oh yeah that... notifications. Don't know why... But, if it doesn't annoy you too much I rather stay here than to get up and mute it."

 

"That's fine. I don't want you to go anywhere yet. Just... stay here with me for a while. You're so breathtaking. I still can't believe you're all mine", the singer whispered feeling like he was floating somewhere where nothing bad could ever reach him. Them.

 

"I love you Chazzy", Mike nuzzled his neck pulling him closer. "You don't know what you're doing to me."

 

"I think I have a hunch. Cause that's what you're doing to me to", the singer answered barely audibly.

 

He kissed Mike's cheek looking at the beautiful smile that spread over his face. Playing with the hair he had just sometime ago pulled hard he couldn't help but to chuckle. A long while they just laid there enjoying feeling their minds getting drained from all unnecessary thoughts.

 

"Fuck. That is really annoying", the emcee groaned after a while. The phone didn't stop.

 

"Go on. Then we can go to shower and maybe watch a movie. I would like to have a glass of wine if you don't mind", Chester nodded kissing the tip of his nose.

 

Mike smiled and pulled away from his arms and lazily reached his pants to get the phone.

 

"I'm sorry. I honestly tried to stop her", a text message said.

 

"It's from Anna", Mike frowned showing it to the singer who frowned too after he had read it.

 

Mike shook his head confused but stopped to look at the other notifications before he would text her back.

 

"Chester Bennington's wife kissing another man"

 

"Who is this mysterious man who was seen kissing Talinda Bennington?"

 

"A young man seen kissing Talinda Bennington and then leaving with her from the club"

 

"What the fuck....", Chester gasped when he saw the headlines.

 

"She... How.... So Anna send the message hour ago and we already have headlines now. How is that even...?", Mike groaned.

 

"This isn't good", the other shook his head.

 

"Yeah. No shit....", Mike muttered.

 

\-----


	15. It's harder starting over

\------

 

Rest of the day for them went in some kind of a bubble. Neither of them really knew what they should do or say. Mike was scared that Brad would now be even more pissed. He had texted Anna that it wasn't her fault but didn't receive an answer. They decided just to go to bed and worry about it the next day.

 

"What do you think?", Mike ran his hand along Chester's spine. The other was obviously aggravated.

 

"I'm fucking pissed. She should know this isn't way to go. And if this was easy, then.... it isn't that hard for her to tell the press about us. But I'm even more pissed that I shouldn't be pissed. Cause who am I to be pissed? Or say anything? It was me who fucked up. At least I was the one who did it first. Did I already say pissed?", the singer mumbled his voice growling low.

 

Mike sighed. "Yeah. We should probably call Rob and see what the social media says."

 

They had eaten breakfast and then laid on the couch reading and watching TV. They haven't particularly tried to avoid the media but just didn't want to take the leap.

 

"How long does this bullshit continue? Call here, call there... We are suppose to write music. Make the new record and then tour. But we are here. Locked inside afraid to face the outside world. God I sometimes hate that were famous. Everything we do... They judge and poke around. Just to find the soft spots to break us apart", the singer continued.

 

Mike shook his head. They were on the same page even when Chester was more vocal about it.

 

"I know babe. But we can't get through this without talking with the others", he said then and picked up his phone to call the drummer.

 

"Yeah, I have seen the headlines", Rob answered cause he knew why Mike called.

 

"What do we do now? Is there even anything to do?", Mike sighed.

 

"Don't think there is. It's all over the web. You should have seen the comments in Facebook. And next the management will start to bug us. And then... Well we have to tell something cause they can figure it out soon enough anyway. You know, we are supposed to be making the record now", the drummer muttered.

 

Mike glanced at Chester who was trying to read a book but had hard time to focus to the words. "Yeah well... Shit. Why does this have to be so hard? Do you have any ideas?."

 

"Well... Maybe.... Maybe you should tell the management the real reason. And talk with Talinda. Again", Rob said not even knowing was that right way to go.

 

"Shit. Fuck.", Mike mumbled and got a look from Chester. He didn't usually swear that much.

 

"Exactly. Oh boy what a mess you two made... But I am still happy that you love each other, I have to say that so you don't think I'm heartless or something. Should I try to get us all to gather around for a talk? Don't know would Brad come but...", the other suggested.

 

"Chester, should we talk with the guys? Like get together?", the half Asian poked the singer who shrugged first but nodded then.

 

"He says yes. I don't know", Mike answered groaning.

 

"Okay. Let's do it. I'll call them. Tomorrow? At Chester's? You're there right? Don't know will they come but at least I could try", Rob said.

 

"Alright. Guess were doing it", the other mumbled.

 

Chester flinched suddenly, his phone beeping. Mike frowned and ended the call while the singer picked up his own phone.

 

"Fucking great. It's Tal. She is coming over to pick up some clothes. Again. I thought the pile was enough for like... well weeks!", he groaned and tossed the phone away.

 

"Nice... At least you can now talk about the mystery man", Mike rolled his eyes.

 

"Yeah well I will need you here to keep me from not strangling her", the singer pouted.

 

"Aaawww honey....", Mike grabbed him to a hug planting wet kisses on his face.

 

"This is so fucked up. But I love you. I love you so much", Chester sighed.

 

"I know you do. Let's get ready for Tal. I need some coffee", the half Asian got up and walked to the kitchen tilting his head for the other.

 

"Yeah and I would need five shots of vodka. Don't know would it even help", the other mumbled tossing his glasses and the book on the table.

 

They made the coffee together and sat back on the couch to enjoy the liquid magic.

 

"Now you're doing that again", Chester raised his eyebrow his lip tugging to a smile.

 

"What?", Mike rolled his eyes like he wasn't knowing what the other was talking.

 

"Looking me like you want to fuck me", the singer said bluntly.

 

The emcee laughed his bubbly laugh. "Sure I do... Is there any other look when you're in the the room?"

 

"Fuck off", Chester laughed his eyes sparkling.

 

"Wouldn't it be awkward if we would actually do it? Like... kissing was bad but getting caught actually fucking", Mike grinned.

 

The singer threw a decorative pillow at him. One of the purple ones that was expensive silk. Which Talinda had bought with his money. "I think awkward wouldn't be the word to cover all the emotions that it would raise. So even when I would so happily do it now I think we should wait until she leaves."

 

"Fine", Mike stuck his tongue out and kissed the other then.

 

And same time they heard the key turning in the lock and rolled their eyes in unison. Mike moved further away from the singer but didn't go too far away. Chester was his boyfriend now anyway. He hadn't even thought it that way before and now it scared him and same time it filled his stomach with butterflies.

 

Talinda's long face reminded him then that the situation wasn't that joyful now. She walked in and closed the door staring at them and dropped a bag on the floor and then her handbag on top of it.

 

"I know you're mad but that was plain stupid. Who was he anyway?", Chester said trying to remain calm.

 

"The fuck you care... He wasn't anything important but the sex was great if that's what you want to hear", she mumbled her voice low.

 

"I care cause it is my fucking band you are fucking up!", the singer yelled startling Mike.

 

Shit, Mike thought.

 

"You should have thought that before you started to fuck your friend", she waved towards Mike.

 

"But why? Why the hell you had to do it publicly? Just to humiliate me? Us? You know that when the questions start to arise I will tell them that it was a revenge from you and I haven't loved you in years", the singer stood up and paced around.

 

"And that you cheated me with your bandmate. That is a male", the woman laughed.

 

"Cause you shouldn't forget to mention that", she continued staring at them her eyes piercing.

 

Mike glanced at the singer who was already fuming squeezing his fists.

 

"I know you're mad! You don't have to prove it. I don't care that you fucked some random guy. My heart belongs to another person, has belonged for years. Did I already say it? I haven't loved you in years! I don't give a shit what you do. But I still don't get why you did it. I get that it was a revenge. Of course it was. But what do you think it will bring you? Huh?", he yelled.

 

The emcee shook his head and stepped up next to him and grabbed his arm.

 

"Honey, stop... Screaming won't help. If she doesn't see the point without screaming then...", he said.

 

Talinda's face was suddenly all red and Mike literally thought she would explode over the walls.

 

"You make me sick. Physically. I want to puke", growled.

 

"Us? Well thank you very much. How mature thing to say...", Chester's eyes got dark. He could never in million years think the woman she had once loved could be this vicious.

 

"Mostly him. He.... You fucking stole my husband!", she screeched directing her words now to Mike.

 

Mike dropped his head feeling embarrassed. Cause that was what he had done. What exactly he had done.

 

"Oh fuck you Talinda. If he wouldn't have kissed me back then I would be still married to you. Not happily. He didn't steal anything", he said.

 

"I can still remember the day. You looked so miserable then. Standing in the rain soaked and then you didn't want to tell me why you were there and why you were so sad. My heart was breaking and all I wanted to tell you was that I was in love with you", Chester held Mike's hand and kissed the knuckles.

 

"I really can't believe my ears. Are you saying you had been fucking for what... weeks? Months?", she breathed absolutely furious.

 

"No. We weren't. Back then he only kissed me. I panicked cause I would never have believed the feeling would have been mutual. But apparently we had both loved each other secretly. We weren't planning on starting an affair. Actually we tried first to just continue as if nothing happened. Couldn't do it. I knew I had been miserable before but now I was even more when I knew Mike loved me too, and we could have each other. Just two marriages on the way...", Chester tried to explain even when he knew the woman probably wasn't listening. Or wouldn't want to.

 

Mike looked at him his eyes glistening. Even in this fucked up moment the singer was thinking about him and talking about him so lovingly.

 

"God I love you so much", Mike smiled.

 

The woman couldn't handle it anymore. He turned on his heels, walked to grab his bag and then stormed upstairs.

 

"Sorry", Chester mumbled pulling the other to his arms.

 

"Don't worry. Anna must be just as pissed as Talinda is. Or even more if she doesn't even want to face me. We can't blame them. I just wish she wouldn't be... so nasty. We know she is mad but mocking us, me, isn't going to help, you know...", he mumbled squeezing Chester back.

 

Suddenly there was loud "Oh for fuck's sake!", yell from the bedroom.

 

"We didn't leave the lube on the table, didn't we?", Mike's eyes widened.

 

The singer bursted into laughter even though he tried to contain himself. "I think we did. Oopsies."

 

He kissed Mike's forehead and the emcee shook his head.

 

After a while they heard Talinda stomping down and stepped away from each other. She dropped the bag back on the floor and stared at them. Mike couldn't read him. The woman was still furious but there was also something else in her eyes. The half Asian squeezed Chester's hand that had grabbed his.

 

"I know it was a revenge. But.... please don't do anything else....like that. You know it won't help anything. Please, you're a smart woman and I didn't marry an asshole. I loved you then. I really did. So if you can think at all over that blind rage I wish you would", the singer pleaded.

 

She just stared at them and grabbed the bag to leave.

 

Mike stepped away from Chester feeling like this could be a chance for him. Hesitating for a second he got closer to the woman. "Tal... Could you please say Anna that we need to talk. I know she doesn't want to. Honestly I don't either. I wish all of this mess would be over already. But I need to sort it out with her."

 

The woman turned his gaze away and draw his lips to a tight line. 

 

"We'll see", she said and stepped out from the house without looking at them again.

 

"Wasn't that great little family reunion?", the singer joked when the door slammed close.

 

"Like I said I understand woman's wrath when she has been cheated but... That still amazes me", the emcee sat on the couch staring to the floor.

 

Chester groaned and let himself fall next to him. "And tomorrow the guys. If they even come."

 

"Can I say that I'm not waiting it?", the other mumbled glancing at the other.

 

The singer shook his head. "Hope they won't be as mad as Tal."

 

"I feel so fucking bad that I caused this", Mike mumbled.

 

"You? Don't ever dare to say you caused this! You are the reason why I am free, finally. The life was fine but living with someone you actually don't love and pretending you do... You know what it was like. Just because you kissed me first doesn't mean you caused this. This all. It just is... Inevitable. What if you haven't done it, what then? I was miserable but used to the idea. You were miserable and I don't think you could have handled it longer. Not really... So if you wouldn't have done it what would have been the next step? I don't even dare to think about it", Chester shook his head frowning.

 

"I know you're right. But I still blame myself little. Can't help it", Mike sighed and grabbed his beeping phone from the table.

 

"We'll be there in the morning", said a text from Rob.

 

The singer read it over Mike's shoulder and glanced at him to see what he thought about it.

 

"Okay. Okay.... I really don't wait that", he sighed.

 

Chester hugged him. "Me neither. But were doing it, together."

 

\-------


	16. I would retrace every wrong move I made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning- for the smut

\-------

 

"Good morning my love", Mike mumbled nuzzling Chester's neck.

 

The singer moaned softly still groggy from the sleep.

 

"Morning. God I'm tired", he said.

 

"Did you sleep well?", the half Asian asked running his hand over Chester's bare stomach.

 

"Not really. Guess I was thinking about the meeting too much", the singer sighed and turned around to face the other.

 

Mike was so beautiful. Especially in the mornings when his hair was all messy and his eyes had still the haze on them. He was all warm and soft and Chester felt his heart beat faster even when he was just staring at those gorgeous brown eyes.

 

"Why are you smiling like a crazy person? I thought you didn't sleep well", Mike chuckled.

 

"I didn't. But seeing you... like this... I just forget all the bad stuff", the singer breathed still just staring straight into Mike's eyes.

 

"Yeah. I get what you mean. Being here with you feels like nothing can hurt us", the half Asian pulled the other against him.

 

"Exactly. I know what is ahead but waking up with you... It reminds me that we are in this together and I think no matter what love conquers it all. At least it should", Chester kissed the tip of his nose.

 

The signature smile spread on Mike's face. "I like the way you think. Maybe we should just stay here. Make this bed to our little fortress."

 

"Sounds so good. Sadly it isn't something we can actually do. Besides I was really talking about how pretty you are. Not only that this is comfortable and I would love to spend the rest of my life here with you. But really, honestly, you're stunning", the singer sighed.

 

"And now you're making me blush", the emcee chuckled throwing his head back.

 

"Aaaaand something else too...", Chester smirked when he felt Mike's hard on poking his leg.

 

"Shoot. You wasn't supposed to notice that. Well... that's what happens when you wake up in same bed with half naked Chester Bennington who tells you you're beautiful", Mike blushed more.

 

"I see. Well you're not escaping now", the singer continued with the smirking and trailed his hand under the waist band of Mike's boxers to grab the member.

 

"Fuck!", Mike gasped in surprise but he was shut down fast with a hungry kiss.

 

Chester purred grinding against him while his hand pumped him. Mike's tongue was battling with his craving for more. He could feel the singer having hard time not smirking. Chester loved how Mike was already sparked up wriggling under him. Slowly he pulled away leaving first only few inches between their lips.

 

"You're teasing me again", Mike gulped drawing his brows together when the singer was just motionless for a while.

 

"I love to tease you", the singer winked his eye and threw the blanket aside.

 

The half Asian gasped again when the singer continued by pulling his boxers off. "Well you said I was teasing. So I'm not teasing anymore."

 

Mike rolled his eyes smiling and watched the singer crawl to better position and then lick the length of his cock with the devious smirk still painted on his face. He dipped his tongue to the slit tasting the pre cum. The emcee whimpered in anticipation while the other finally flicked his tongue around the tip he took it then to his mouth. Bucking his hips Mike tried to make Chester swallow it deeper but the singer kept swirling his tongue around the tip while sucking softly.

 

A cluster of curses rolled from Mike's mouth when the singer finally engulfed all of him. Mike reached his hand to Chester's head cursing also the fact that the singer had decided to shave his head leaving only a ridiculously short mohawk. He would have wanted to grab the hair like the singer usually did to him and to see would it cause the same for the other as it did to him.

 

Chester reached then his hand to play with Mike's nipple causing him to groan. The wet suction felt amazing but the tongue flicking around his cock just added another feeling to it. Then there was the low hum vibrating. The singer was obviously enjoying too.

 

"Mikey... You taste delicious", Chester lifted his head to get a breath saliva shining on his lips.

 

The half Asian stared at him wanting him to dive in but same time he just wanted to enjoy the sight in front of him. Chester looked absolutely divine his dark eyes sparkling, a wonderful smirk still on his face with a hint of greed and the red lips shining, wanting for more. He licked the tip excruciatingly slowly watching every single expression on Mike's face at the meantime.

 

"That's still teasing Chaz", Mike whimpered.

 

"Oh... Guess you're right. I just wanted to see you staring at me like that for a moment. You know, desperate for more", the other chuckled taking a quick lick.

 

"Chester!", the half Asian groaned in frustration making the other laugh.

 

The singer swallowed him whole again grabbing the hips to pin the eager man down. Mike inhaled sharply when the singer started to move up and down. Chester made sure his lips were rubbing the length properly while his tongue still swirled around it.

 

"Please, Chaz..", Mike whispered licking his dry lips.

 

Chester quickened his motions and the emcee pawed his head feeling the familiar burn making him curl his toes. He tried to buck his hips but the singer held him down.

 

"Oh my god... Your mouth feels amazing...", the half Asian breathed wriggling.

 

When the singer glanced at him the cock deep in his mouth Mike lost it and came hard with a deep groan. The sight was way too naughty for him. Chester swallowed the warm seed chuckling softly and crawled back beside the other.

 

"Holy... I could wake up to that every day", Mike kissed the singer's head a smile plastered on his face.

 

"And I could look at you like that the whole day. You look even better when you are coming down from the high than you do when you're still sleepy", the other whispered just so happy and content in that moment.

 

Mike gripped Chester's chin between his fingers to tilt his head more. "Wouldn't mind that either."

 

He kissed the other tasting still the salt from his lips. The singer purred and hugged him wanting to just stay there with the other.

 

"Guess we need to go to shower and eat something before the guys come", he sighed then.

 

"Yeah. Let's continue later", Mike winked his eye causing the other to chuckle.

 

Chester kissed his cheek smiling. "I'm making you keep the promise."

 

Together they got up and while Chester went to get the coffee going first Mike headed to the shower. He realized he missed his own stuff when he once again washed himself with Chester's shower gel. Not that he didn't mind smelling like the singer, but it felt like he was just visiting. But then it hit him. He was just visiting. Going back home wasn't an option only cause of Anna. The fact was he didn't want to go back. He missed his stuff but not the place itself.

 

"Ready?", the singer asked when he got to the kitchen already fully dressed. Chester handed him a cup filled with steaming hot coffee and he kissed his cheek in return.

 

"Not really. I don't wait for what they have to say but guess we have to go trough it. How much time?", he sighed sipping the coffee.

 

"Rob had sent a message that they would be here around ten", Chester grimaced.

 

Mike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, almost we had another 'oopsies'. Chester, it is already ten."

 

"Well I saw the message just when I came down here and checked my phone", the other snorted and went to sit on the couch with his coffee.

 

At same time there was a knock on the door and Mike let out a loud sigh. Literally no time to get prepared, he thought and went to open the door. Rob stood there face more serious than ever. Joe was standing on his left staring to the ground. Dave however stared him right into his eyes. And then there was the guitarist. Mike was surprised to even see him. He was already looking angry and Mike knew they wouldn't have a calm, civilized conversation. Gesturing them in he walked to the couch joining Chester.

 

"There's coffee if you want", the singer opened his mouth first.

 

Dave and Rob shook his head but Brad just sat down lifting his leg to rest the ankle on his knee.

 

"So... I think no matter how I will say my words they sound bad. I just hope we could get over this mess", the half Asian mumbled.

 

"I think that's way too soon to say", Joe sighed.

 

"Right... So. I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry that it went like this but I can't erase it either. And honestly I think even if we would have told sooner it wouldn't have changed anything", Mike said glancing at the singer.

 

Chester grabbed Mike's hand to his when he noticed how nervous the other was. Brad saw that and frowned but didn't say anything.

 

"So you two are a couple? Like really. Not just fucking", Dave asked confused.

 

Mike nodded. "Yeah. Anna won't talk to me but I will get a divorce as soon as it's possible."

 

"You will?", Chester looked him surprised. It really wasn't even surprise but they hadn't yet even talked about it.

 

"Of course I will baby", the emcee smiled at him.

 

Brad stood up abruptly throwing his hands in the air. "I can't do this."

 

"Sit down. Nobody is leaving until we have had a proper talk", Rob looked him angrily.

 

The guitarist groaned but sat down anyway. "If you think this bullshit talk can salvage the band you're wrong Rob."

 

"What the fuck is really your problem? The fact that we are in same band? That we are both male?", the singer asked beyond frustrated.

 

"No. The fact that he broke my trust. I don't give a shit that you're fucking. But I would have assumed that he would talk with me first. Like we used to. And the cheating. Yeah, the cheating too. Cause I thought I knew him, but apparently I didn't", Brad's voice was bitter.

 

"I know. And I am sorry. I don't... What I was supposed to say? Hey Brad, by the way I'm in love with our singer. Or hey Brad, I found out he is in love with me too and now we are cheating our wives cause we can't keep our hands off of each other. You don't know how it feels like! Years of marriage to a person you don't really love. And you stay only cause you try to deny that you love your bandmate. Seriously Brad, I wasn't doing it on purpose. Neither was him", Mike tried to explain feeling he was just failing his words.

 

"Something. Anything really. You were my friend. I thought you could trust me and I could trust you", the guitarist answered.

 

"Were? Really?", Mike was stunned. He couldn't understand how their relationship with Chester could break the other most important in his life. Sighing he leaned forward.

 

"Mike I don't know. I'm angry, disappointed, sad, confused... I don't want to throw it all away but right now I can't really even look at you", Brad answered scratching his head.

 

"Well I will say that we are not going to break up just because two people happened to fall in love inside the band and handle it poorly", Rob stated watching Brad.

 

"Yeah. Agree. If you love each other then...", Dave tried to smile still confused.

 

Mike glanced him and then Chester. "Yes. I love him very much. And as I said I have for years. This isn't some teenage crush."

 

The bassist nodded and turned his gaze then to Chester waiting what he would say.

 

"Nothing to add there. Only thing I regret is that we didn't think more. We should have talked with you guys before. And... that I didn't act sooner", Chester said.

 

"You know we just... Yeah. Didn't think", the emcee dropped his head.

 

"So when did this start? I assume it wasn't the first time you were kissing when Talinda caught you?", Joe asked.

 

"Remember that rainy day when he didn't answer his phone and I called you all and you didn't know either where he was? When I found him he was weird and just... a mess. Broken. He kissed me then when we got back to here. And I was an asshole and panicked. Next day he was pissed cause I just ran and didn't say anything. Remember? Making me sing over and over again just some random lyrics. Then I got mad cause I needed some time to get my thoughts straight and he didn't realize it. How could he? So I kissed him back just to shut him down and then confessed that I love him too", the singer said rubbing Mike's back.

 

"Then, cause we knew it was a bad idea, we tried to keep it... well continue as nothing had happened. Soon we realized we both were just as miserable and... here we are", he continued.

 

"So that was why you were so weird in the studio", Brad stated.

 

Chester nodded a grin tugging his lip.

 

"So where are we now? As friends? As a band?", Rob tried carefully question what was going to happen.

 

"Honestly... Of course I am pissed that you two hid it from us but I don't see that we can't continue. But my worry is the press now. The stunt Talinda arranged... Yeah", Dave shook his head.

 

"Joe?", Rob asked.

 

The deejay glanced at the couple on the couch. "I think... Well I agree with them. You have to figure out what to do with Talinda."

 

"Brad?", the drummer turned his head to look at the guitarist.

 

"What? I already said what I think. Shitty thing to do and if you all think that I can be over it just like that you're so wrong", he answered looking Rob like he was an idiot.

 

Mike let out a long groan. "Brad please. I am sorry. What do you want me to do? I can't just undo it."

 

"Mike I don't know. I need more time", Brad's voice had toned down from the bitter anger to sadness.

 

"Okay. I can give you time. Just please don't shut us out. Seriously. I love you, you're still my best friend and I don't want to lose you just cause I messed up to be with the man I love", the half Asian mumbled.

 

"So weird to hear that. The man I love", Dave arched his brows looking at Rob who chuckled.

 

"Yeah. We'll get used to that. So to the next subject. Have you spoken to Anna yet?", the drummer got back to talking to Mike.

 

"No. She won't talk with me. But she said she tried to stop Talinda when she had that... one night thing. I hope that it was only revenge one night thing. So I guess she probably won't try similar stunt", Mike grunted.

 

"And Talinda is obviously still angry. We need to figure out what to do with her. If she speaks with the press all hell breaks loose and that won't be pretty. The rumors are already crazy and we need to tackle them down", Rob shook his head.

 

"Agree. Should we talk with the management already like you suggested yesterday?", Chester asked playing with the hem on Mike's shirt.

 

Brad pressed his head to his hand exhaling sharply. He knew he was basically the only thing between them moving on. Like a break slowing them down. But he couldn't just wipe away the thoughts that were nagging in the back of his mind.

 

"Brad....", Rob frowned.

 

"I'm sorry. I feel like an asshole but I just can't help this. But yes, talk with the management. They should know so they can be prepared. What happened... I think she is mental but I don't blame her", he said.

 

Mike picked up that word like a last straw. It meant that Brad still cared and perhaps was trying to forgive him.

 

"Let's do that then. I can handle the calls. But before we publish anything you two need to sort it out with your wives", Rob nodded glancing each of them.

 

"Oh so are you going public?", the bassist gasped in disbelief.

 

Chester turned to look the half Asian who looked like he didn't know what to think. "No, I don't think that is wise. Wouldn't it be weird for the fans if we would announce our relationship? How do you even announce that kind of a thing? But like... well now it seems like it is Talinda who is cheating me. So guess that should be corrected?"

 

"Right. But the problem is that if you tell you're getting divorce and then Mike announces the same soon... Our fans are not stupid. They will find out", Dave continued.

 

"And all of this could have been avoided if Talinda would have... not done that", Chester rubbed the bridge on his nose.

 

"Or if you two wouldn't have get caught and would have handled it like normal adults. Or not started it at all in the first place", Brad stated receiving a punch from Rob.

 

"Yeah yeah... He is right anyway", Mike mumbled waving his hand in the air. At least the guitarist wasn't as vulgar now.

 

They all fell silent to think. Dave was staring at them thinking about the whole situation. The two were obviously in love and even if the situation was a mess he was glad to see them like this. Joe was still reluctant. He could only think this ending bad. Even if they could handle the wives and press and all that they would still have to make the record and tour. What if the couple would break up? What would that mean to the band?

 

"So I have to ask. You said years. How long have you... well loved each other? God this is so fucking weird", Dave asked breaking the silence.

 

"Six years", Mike mumbled afraid of their reaction. They had hid it so long from all.

 

Chester looked him feeling his heart bounce. Even thinking about the moment get him exited but also sad. "Milton Keynes... Five years. Well that was when I realized it really."

 

They both smiled and looked same time so happy and miserable that Dave knew there was no nothing that could get between them now. The singer touched Mike's cheek softly, just to make him smile and the other did exactly that. I wonderful smile spread on his face.

 

"I'm still so sorry", Mike whispered to Chester his smile fading.

 

"Oh baby... Don't. I know you couldn't have done anything else than to hide it", Chester grabbed him to a tight hug.

 

But when Mike's hand trailed just tiny bit under the hem of Chester's shirt of a habit the guitarist couldn't take it anymore.

 

"Okay I'm done. I can't watch this anymore for today. Too soon", he grunted standing up. He was flushing up and obviously uncomfortable.

 

Rob turned to look at him his eyes piercing. It wasn't usual for him to be mad like that but he thought Brad was being childish. "Fine. I think we have talked enough for today anyway."

 

"Good.", Brad said and walked out leaving the rest stunned.

 

"Sorry. He really does need more time", the drummer sighed when the door slammed shut.

 

"I don't blame him for that. I know what we.... well how we did this all was wrong", Mike nodded and let out a long sigh.

 

"Yeah. Well, anyway... I'll handle the management as I said. We'll see what they think. Haven't answered any of the call yet", the other continued chewing his lip.

 

"Oh they called already? Don't wonder why though...", Mike grimaced.

 

Rob shook his head and stood up and was followed by the bassist and the deejay. "We'll handle this. They are probably mad too but it really isn't your fault. Talinda should have been more careful. You two keep doing what you do, and let's try to get back on the studio soon."

 

And so they left too.

 

"God. Shit...", Mike groaned when the room got silent.

 

The singer nodded. "I hear you... But let's take his advice, shall we?"

 

"Huh?", Mike got confused.

 

"You two keep doing what you do. He meant fucking", the singer wiggled his eye brow.

 

"Chester! He certainly did not meant...", Mike let out a laugh but was silenced when the singer jumped to his lap connecting their lips.

 

\-------


	17. And let that mistake pass on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for the smut and long ass chapter, lol.

 

\-----

 

"We didn't talk about... well the talk", Mike kissed Chester's neck wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

 

The singer was reading a magazine a cup of coffee on his other hand sitting on a huge armchair that he loved to use when he watched movies.

 

He sighed. "Yeah.... Cause I don't think there is nothing to talk about."

 

"No, there is. But you think escaping to sex is better way to deal with it", Mike lifted his eyebrow and tilted his head while he stepped to Chester's sight.

 

"No. I think Brad has decided already that... No really, I'm talking bullshit. Honestly I don't think he would break your friendship. But he needs time. What is there to talk then? He needs time and we can spend it having fun", the other tossed the magazine on the table and pulled Mike closer with tugging his shirt.

 

Mike rolled his eyes and sat down. "I would like to know what you think about all this. I can feel what you feel. But what you think we should do, I mean. Would it be wiser if we would just... well tell it all to public. Cause now we are hiding some anyway, even if we..."

 

Chester kissed his cheek and sighed then closing his eyes. "I think... That is not a good idea. But, we should try to... well I know it takes long to get a divorce. But starting the procedure as fast as possible would be the first thing. And I think Anna has had enough time to think and you should already talk with her. Cause what ever we do next... She should know first. I also think Talinda is a bitch and I don't understand how I... well she wasn't like that before. But... I was just thinking that if she changed like that now, then there could have been way worse ahead. Which yet again, pisses me off."

 

"Okay. So the first thing I'll do is sent Anna a message", Mike nodded and fished his phone out.

 

"Hey. Sorry to bother but we really need to talk", he texted sending it immediately.

 

"And then we need to call to Rob and see did he handle the management. Or are we going to be handled by them soon. I don't... fuck. I don't even want to know how much money we are burning now to thin air. The studio is there, empty, waiting for us", he continued and stopped when the phone buzzed. Keeping it on vibrate had been a good idea.

 

"Mike not yet. I need more time", Anna had written.

 

Chester shook his head when he saw the message. "No, no more time. We can't afford it. Not emotionally nor physically."

 

The emcee nodded and wrote back, "Please. After Talinda's stunt it has been like an avalanche and we can't stop it."

 

"That's good", Chester smiled softly.

 

Mike nodded and while waiting for an answer he called the drummer.

 

"Hey. Yes I called them. They were mostly worried about what Talinda would try next. I explained the situation and got asked could you please be so nice and take care of the wife-problem. Yup, that's what they called it...", Rob said.

 

"Whoa... So.. Does that mean they are not worried about press finding out we're together?", Mike frowned stunned by the answer. He had initially thought they would just be very, very mad.

 

"No, not really. They think it would be even good publicity. But if Talinda continues that there will be legal actions", the drummer sighed.

 

"Right... And how about the record? We're now doing nothing and losing crazy amounts of money every day. They weren't worried about that?", the other glanced at Chester who placed his now empty coffee cup to the table.

 

"Erm... Well the thing is... Brad has been there. Not the first days but... yeah", the drummer scrunched up his nose on the other side of the line.

 

"What?! Seriously? Okay...", Mike gasped in surprise. He didn't know was it good or bad.

 

"He has made some progress. Guess he's... channeling, or so", Rob chuckled but got then back to serious.

 

"Okay... Yeah. Fuck me, that's a surprise", Mike mumbled causing Chester wiggle his eye brow and him again roll his eyes and slap the other.

 

"He just yesterday told me. So I didn't know before that either", the drummer answered.

 

"Well that's then one problem less. Maybe, or more. How do we even... I don't.. Argh, never mind. So the next step is to talk with the soon to be ex-wives again. Well first time, I'm trying to get Anna to talk me as we speak. She said she needs more time and I said not possible", Mike tried to focus to the talking when Chester was trailing his hand under his shirt.

 

"Good. Hope she is fine with it. Talking I mean, probably not with this", Rob said.

 

"Yeah well... We'll see", Mike said hanging up.

 

"Chester! What is with you! One word and you're all horny and gropy", Mike sighed trying to swat the hands away that were stroking his bare skin.

 

"It wasn't just a one word. It was a command", the singer chuckled pulling him to a kiss.

 

Mike felt his phone vibrate and he broke the kiss to check it.

 

"Fine. I'll be there soon."

 

He showed the phone to the singer who nodded his mouth forming an o-letter.

 

"Yup. So keep your hands off of me or we again, and I will repeat it just to make sure you hear it, again, will be in the same situation that caused this crap. Even though she doesn't have a key, but", Mike groaned.

 

"Well... I think I could just tease you little bit longer", Chester whispered to his ear tugging the waistband of his jeans.

 

"Seriously... You're insatiable", Mike mumbled knowing he should just get up and leave the singer alone, he didn't want.

 

"And you like it", the singer nibbled the earlobe causing Mike groan again.

 

"And you know where the teasing leads eventually", the emcee grabbed his wrists holding them tightly.

 

Chester gasped surprised by the sudden change but he certainly wasn't complaining.

 

"Really?", he gulped then feeling the arousal already tickle.

 

"Really. I have the shackles ready. For whenever I want to use them", Mike nodded loving Chester's expression at the moment.

 

"Shit", the singer bit his lip feeling Mike tighten his grip.

 

"Yeah. Or fuck would be more suitable. So... Keep that thought and I'll fetch more coffee so that I don't fuck you right now on the coffee table", Mike smirked, got up grabbing Chester's coffee cup and walked to the kitchen.

 

Smirking still to himself he poured coffee for them and shook his head. He was having so much fun that again all the serious stuff was disappearing in the thin air. And cause they were best in the timing the doorbell rang just as he was about to walk back to the living room.

 

"Hey... Come in", Mike says gesturing the woman inside and glanced then back at Chester with a 'what did I say'- look.

 

He walked back to the living room and sat on the couch while the singer remained in the armchair. Anna glanced at them before he joined Mike to the couch. The emcee studied her face not able to pick up any certain emotions. Some confusion, some sadness and then plenty of others he couldn't assort.

 

"So... I'm sorry this had to happen so soon, but as I said Talinda is the reason for it", Mike stated.

 

Anna stared at the singer who was staring Mike, but who then noticed she was staring at him.

 

"Do you want me to leave? I don't mind. Except if you're going to be crazy like Tal then I certainly would like to stay", Chester asked when he noticed the look.

 

"No, it's fine", she said her voice soft and quiet.

 

"God this is... Honestly Anna I really can't put it out in a nice manner. We fucked it all up and we didn't do it intentionally. And I don't mean getting caught. I mean starting it behind your back", Mike sighed. The way the woman was staring at him burned his heart and he felt so guilty, so bad that he caused all the pain she must have gone through.

 

"When... did our love end? You used to love me... I think so? I didn't marry a man that didn't love me, am I right?, she asked placing his hand on Mike's who gasped instantly.

 

Chester bit his lip staring at the hands feeling the jealousy stung. His brains told me there was no reason for it, but he couldn't help it.

 

Mike pulled his hand away and shook his head. "Anna don't. That's not..."

 

"Sorry, I....", she mumbled holding his hands together like she was forcing them not to do it again.

 

The emcee sighed. "Yes I loved you. Years. I married you cause I loved you. But then something happened and I fell in love with another person that who happened to be my bandmate. And a guy. I was so fucking baffled for a long time. When I realized it, I didn't... Well as you can see I didn't act on it first and that I was miserable. I think you noticed that too."

 

"Yeah, Tal told me about that... it had been long that you two... Sorry... I can't say it out loud", the woman dropped his gaze.

 

"So obviously I understand if you hate me. I would have never thought I would cheat. I know it was crappy thing to do and I don't blame you for hating me. Sometimes... things just seem to fall apart. And you don't have the control on them, even if you want to", Mike tried to explain glancing at Chester who had a small sad smile on his face. He was feeling the agony, but he was also proud how well Mike dealt with it and how well he put it out on words.

 

"I don't hate you. I guess hating would be easier. You don't even know how mean Talinda is. I know she is hurt but the way she talks about you... And not Chester, but you only. But I know her so well that... well I know she will get over it eventually. Her style to mourn is to pour it all on the person she thinks caused it. But the hate... It really puts me off", Anna said fiddling with his earring.

 

Mike nodded. "I don't really blame her either. Not even that she hit me and said she wants to puke while staring me straight to my eyes. But the thing is.. if she continues drawing attention to us in such way there will be legal actions. Honestly I didn't even think about it, but Rob had talked with the management and they weren't happy."

 

"I know. I guessed it already. I have tried to talk with her but the bottle of vodka seems to talk something else", the woman sighed.

 

"Hope she... Hasn't broken anything", Mike didn't even remember that there was plenty of expensive studio equipment that she could also pour her anger on.

 

"No. Not even said about that but I locked the studio door anyway", Anna nodded glancing again Chester.

 

They fell silent. Mike drinking his coffee and staring at the liquid. Chester drinking the coffee but staring at his knee. And Anna staring at them both.

 

"So... What now? You said we need to talk cause of Tal, but why?", she broke the silence eventually.

 

"The rumors say now that she is cheating. And before she goes mental again, and does something to correct it, we need to do it. Which basically means that Chester has to announce divorce", Mike mumbled.

 

"Divorce huh... Guess that's what you want too", Anna felt that the tears weren't far away.

 

Mike massaged his temples, knowing the headache was soon pounding. "Yeah. I don't see point in continuing this when I love someone else. I should have done it years ago, even though I didn't know back then that he loves me too."

 

"That's just... Well this all happens so fast. First I'm consoling my best friend who cries that she has seen you two basically fucking and when I finally understand that it is real I got told, you weren't just fucking but it is a real relationship and you are planning on continuing it. And that you're in fact, in love with each other. So... You got to understand how confused I am. I still love you Mike. Even if I am sad and heartbroken it hasn't gone anywhere. It's not like a switch that I could just turn off", she said her voice breaking while she tried to keep the tears in.

 

"I'm so sorry... I really wish I could erase it all and go back to the point... well not even to that point when we... Well I don't know how much Talinda told you but after he revealed that he loves me too we tried to continue as nothing had happened. It didn't work out. I felt like I was cheating you, him, Talinda and myself too. So, I wish I could go back to the day when I realized I love him. And then that I would have told him straight away. And no matter what would have happened... that I would have told you and saved us from all of...", he told and stopped then to think how would he say it.

 

"Well the thing is that I... was miserable cause it was killing me. The feeling that I loved a person that I have to work with, seeing him daily... I know this is horrible. I don't want to make you think there was something wrong with you. Or anything you did or said. It's not at all like that. I didn't seek for an affair. I just fell in love with another person", he continued feeling out of breath.

 

"I get it Mike. It happens. We are all humans after all. So, I... just send me the papers or what ever you need. I will of course sign them, I can't... I don't want to keep a person forcefully that doesn't love me. I just need to move on but honestly it will take ages. Now I'm just... sad and something I don't even know", Anna said and got on his feet to leave.

 

"Okay. I hope... you talk with Talinda. As I said I don't blame her for hating me but there are consequences if she tries to throw another tantrum", Mike answered glancing at Chester to get an approval to his words. The singer nodded smiling.

 

"I can only try. We'll talk again later then", she mumbled glancing at them briefly before she dropped her gaze and left.

 

Mike let out a long breath and groaned then. "I feel like I am an asshole. Well I am but... I wish I could not be."

 

"Oh baby... No you're not", Chester leaped to the couch next to him, leaning to him. "You know it isn't that uncommon to make someone unhappy while you make another one happy. And you know what else? She said it herself- we're all humans after all. So don't blame yourself either. You can't choose what your heart does. Right?"

 

"Guess... so. But I still hope this all wouldn't be such a mess", the emcee leaned to kiss the singer and then sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

"Yes, you know I am right", Chester nodded and got up walking to the kitchen.

 

Mike grabbed their coffee cups and followed. He thought first the singer wanted more coffee but he went to the freezer instead. The emcee poured himself another cup and waited what the other was doing. Chester picked up an jar of ice cream, or to be exact cherry sorbet, and jumped to sat on the counter after taking out a spoon from a drawer.

 

"I think... We need to let go. Stop thinking about what they think. We can't effect to it. Sure...well of course it feels bad. But the problem is no matter what we do now it doesn't matter. I can only talk with Tal and hope she will listen. But that's really all. What they decide then it will happen anyway", Chester sighed and licked a spoonful of the sorbet.

 

"That sounds reasonable. But I can't just... Not after that", the emcee sipped the coffee looking Chester who licked again the sorbet from the spoon.

 

"You know you eat ice cream like a... well someone who hasn't gotten in long time", Mike chuckled.

 

"I do? Except that this is sorbet. Rather good one, wanna taste?", the singer watched the spoon before digging up for more.

 

"Ice cream, sorbet... Same thing really", Mike rolled his eyes and got closer.

 

But instead of giving Mike the spoon Chester got a spoonful to his mouth, licked it clean and then grabbed Mike's waist to pulling him closer between his legs. The emcee arched his brows but Chester glued their lips together and then gave Mike the taste of the sorbet. He pushed his tongue inside Mike's mouth while the other had hard time keeping his coffee cup on his hand. The sweet cold juice spread on his mouth tasting heavenly and he placed the cup finally on the table.

 

"It's good isn't it?", Chester broke the kiss while stroking his chin with his thumb.

 

"Yeah... I love cherries. But you don't remember what I said earlier?", Mike tilted his head.

 

Chester furrowed his brows not following. "Huh?"

 

"I told you where the teasing leads. So are you finished with the sorbet and teasing?", the half Asian leaned in to whisper to his ear.

 

The other inhaled shivers running down his spine. He was being wanton but the tingle in his abdomen was there, waiting. "Well I was kinda still eating...."

 

"You sure? I think you were ready", Mike bit his neck surprising him and grabbed the sorbet to put it to the table.

 

"Fuck... Mike...", Chester gasped.

 

"Yeah. So get your cute little butt to the bedroom now", the half Asian commanded lifting him to the floor.

 

The singer shook his head smirking in disbelief and obeyed then. Mike followed him closely not getting his eyes off of the ass. Cause it was cute, but it was also fucking sexy. When they got to the bedroom Chester sat on the bed and Mike jumped instantly to his lap straddling him. He attacked Chester's neck grazing softly the sensitive skin before biting in harder. The singer was moaning and wiggling under him.

 

"Fuck I love that... ", Chester mumbled while the half Asian now focused to get his pants open and free his already hard member.

 

"I kinda almost feel bad that you're enjoying yourself so much already", Mike smirked pushing him on his back and ripping his shirt off.

 

"You mean you don't want me to enjoy?", Chester chuckled.

 

Mike sighed. "No. I mean that you teasing me so much that I have hard time hiding my hard on when we have quests, should have some consequences."

 

"Oh I see...", the singer smirked and leaned to kiss him.

 

Mike pushed him away shaking his head. "No. My turn. Get your pants off."

 

Chester bit his lip same time excited by the sudden change and what was coming, but also tiny bit scared. He knew Mike wouldn't hurt him. Not really, but if this was going like last time he certainly would have an opportunity. He obeyed and then allowed Mike to push him again to the bed, roughly. Holding his breath he waited and watched the other search something. Soon he approached him with the familiar shackles.

 

"Shit...", the singer mumbled when Mike closed the shackles tightly around his wrists making sure he couldn't pull them out, and the small chain connecting them going around the metal bar connecting the bedposts, so that the singer couldn't repeat what he had done last time. Chester watched him hovering over himself still fully clothed while he himself was totally naked.

 

"Yeah, that's... god you're hot", Mike gasped getting up from the bed to undress himself.

 

While he tossed his shirt on the floor he couldn't keep his eyes off of the singer. He was gorgeous laying there waiting for what was going to happen next. Mike had always loved his tattoos but like this on the pale skin under the thin layer of sweat they looked even better. Chester let out a sound that was telling him he was impatient.

 

"But I like when you're impatient and shackled", he rolled his eyes and climbed on top of the singer.

 

"Well... I don't. So please fuck me already or let me go", Chester groaned pulling his arms.

 

Mike chuckled stroking Chester's hard on just casually, teasing and then leaned to lick his neck. "My plan... Wasn't either of them really."

 

The singer whimpered when the hot breath hit his skin and the words his brains. "What.. "

 

The half Asian concentrated to lick and bite the skin on the neck while his hand trailed across the ribs to Chester's chest taking the erect nipple between his fingers. Then he dipped down to suck the bud hard. When the singer moaned he grabbed his cock roughly. Chester let out a yelp pulling his hands making the metal cling.

 

Mike leaned back chuckling for the desperation and arousal that could now be seen in Chester's eyes. His throbbing member demanded attention but he had something else in mind. Opening the drawer he cause Chester whimper again when he saw the lube he pulled out. But instead of coating himself he spread it on Chester's cock. Adoring the sight he smiled an tilted his head.

 

"That's pretty. Don't you think?", he said staring at the singer.

 

Chester draw his brows together. "Yeah but... It's in the wrong cock."

 

"Oh you want me to fuck you?", the half Asian said and dipped in to kiss him. But without waiting for the answer he adjusted himself and then sat down burying Chester deep inside of him to the tight heat.

 

"Mike what the fuck!", the singer squeaked in surprise now really tugging his hands.

 

The emcee stayed still waiting for the shock to mild down. What he had caused for himself. He knew the burn would subside soon and the confusion that was in Chester's eyes was oh so worth it.

 

"You can't... Fuck you're driving me crazy", Chester groaned feeling overwhelmed and desperate.

 

The emcee pushed his hands on Chester's chest starting to move ever so slowly. The other growled at the feeling wriggling his hips. Shaking his head smirking ecstatic that he was able to do this. To make the other so excited, yearning for more.

 

"Don't you dare to stop now", Chester moaned trashing his head back violently.

 

Mike started to ride him faster biting his lip when the rock hard member slid deeper into him. Reaching to play with Chester's nipples he elicited another deep moan from his throat.

 

"You like that?", he gasped not sure how he could even speak when the delicious bliss was burning through him.

 

"Mike....", the singer whimpered pulling his hands to get free from the shackles.

 

The small squeaks that were emitting from Chester's mouth were the sweetest sound ever to Mike's ears. The singer was mesmerizing causing his heart only to beat faster when he stared at him.

 

"Babe... You feel so fucking good", he leaned down to kiss the other.

 

Chester sucked his tongue craving for more. The emcee bit to his lip causing the other to groan and tremble.

 

"So do you... I can't take it long. Please Mike", he breathed.

 

The emcee loved the sight under him. The other pleading for more the euphoria burning in his eyes.

 

"Let me touch you", Chester was barely able to speak.

 

Mike shook his head and dipped down for another kiss. He could still faintly taste the cherry sorbet while Chester's moaning vibrated in his mouth. Brushing his tongue against his the singer tried again to pull his hands free. He was beyond frustrated and wanted to touch Mike. To brush the sleek hair hanging on his forehead then pulling it hard. To massage the strong muscles on his arms that were tensed. And to stroke that cock that was just throbbing and waiting for attention, still untouched.

 

The half Asian leaned back up to get his rhythm better, more precise. Grabbing Chester's hips he tried to push down even further. The other whimpered knowing he would need just little bit before he would explode. Mike knew that look, and he wasn't now on the mood for letting the other wait. Bouncing harder his breath hitched while he watched the singer have difficulties to keep his eyes open, his eyelashes fluttering.

 

Throwing his head back Mike started to stroke his cock feeling he would loose the control soon. Control he had loved to have over the singer who squirmed under him. The friction felt amazing but the fact that he was able to be the one in charge was even better, overwhelming really.

 

"Fuck!", he yelped and came groaning over Chester's stomach and his own hand. He threw his head back while he felt like he was about to pass out. 

 

"Babe...", Chester gasped panting when his warm seed exploded inside the emcee who was still riding his own orgasm out.

 

The singer stared at him not really sure what just happened. He was beyond ecstatic and even when he hadn't really done much it took a while before his breathing calmed down.

 

"You're absolutely divine like that", Mike smiled wiping the sweat off of his forehead.

 

"Could you... I want to wrap my arms around you and tell you how amazing human being you are", Chester pulled his hands the shackles clinging against the metal. He was sure he would have bruises the next day but he didn't care. Not now. Not maybe ever.

 

"And?", Mike crawled next to him and started to open the shackles.

 

"And that I love you so much", Chester whispered kissing the nose that was now perfectly close.

 

The emcee got them open and crashed next to him. "Seriously Chester. We are like bunnies and it is totally your fault."

 

"What? I didn't do anything?", Chester turned his head to join their lips together.

 

"Well licking the ice cream like that, so sensually, is something", Mike rolled his eyes stroking Chester's cheek.

 

"Sorbet it was. Not ice cream", the singer smirked nibbling Mike's lip.

 

"Oh fuck off", the half Asian laughed rolling the other on his back and getting on top of him.

 

The other stared at him pretending to be shocked. "Whoa... I like this Mike a lot."

 

Mike shook his head his bubbly laughter filling the room.

 

\------


	18. Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Just posted a new angsty story called 'Reading my eyes will say it in many ways'. Read it and tell me what you think :)
> 
>  
> 
> Here, no warnings except for the language.

\-------

 

"You're staring at me again", Chester yawned.

 

He had woken up to the sun rays hitting his eye lids and when he couldn't feel Mike's arm around his waist he turned around and saw the man staring at him. Mike looked worried and slightly sad sitting cross legged on the bed.

 

"Well, there's no better place I would rather set my eyes on. I was just thinking", Mike shook his head.

 

Chester rose supporting himself with his elbows. "You've been thinking a lot lately."

 

"Yes Chester. Sometimes sex isn't the answer", the half Asian sighed his lip curling to a smile. He was totally not complaining about the amount of sex they were having.

 

"Well I like sex with you. Is that bad thing?", the singer winked his eye and reached to tug Mike's boxers.

 

Mike swatted his hand away and shook his head again. "Be serious. I wasn't complaining really. Just need to think about this... You know before it all blew up I pictured it in my head. Painting all possible scenarios cause I knew it would happen anyway. Like I did. And when it happened the fall wasn't as big as it would have been otherwise. I think. So that's what I am doing now."

 

"Oh. Okay. Makes sense. Any conclusions?", Chester fell back in his back and curled then on his side drawing the blanket up to his chin.

 

The emcee looked at him his eyes shadowed by the fear. "Yeah. This all blows up even worse than it already is. We aren't accepted and then we get tired of hiding. The band breaks apart and then we break up. And then it all was for nothing."

 

"Oh honey... You can't... That's so sad you know? Why would you think we would break up?", the singer sighed.

 

"Yeah well. It happens. Sometimes love isn't enough. Even if you really want it to be", Mike mumbled twiddling with his fingers.

 

"Mike.... I don't want you to feel that way. It sounds like... like this all was for nothing. What we have come through already", the other tossed the blanket aside and crawled in front of him.

 

Mike shook his head. "Do you really think that this is a lot? I have tried to think what could be ahead of us and it just... I don't know how would I handle it. Could I even?"

 

"You don't have to, not alone. I am here. Honestly, I'm not going anywhere. We haven't even... I want to experience it all with you. You know, all the fun stuff we have done already as friends. I want to do it as a couple. Imagine all the shows and late nights after that. Joking around and then getting to our own hotel room. Finally sharing the bed, not just the room. Interviews together trying to keep my hands off of you but knowing I don't have to after that. As we had to before. And maybe... like even getting married", the singer smiled stroking Mike's cheek.

 

"But what if you can't take it either? What if... you get sick of all the drama and leave me", the half Asian sifted closer throwing his legs to each side of Chester who was kneeling in front of him.

 

"I can't promise you nothing would happen. But now... I have loved you so many years that I don't think it would end just like that. Why are you now suddenly second guessing us? Did something happen that I didn't notice?", the other kissed the tip of his nose.

 

"No. Not really. Just all this bullshit around us. As I said I am just trying to think ahead", Mike smiled softly.

 

"Well think about what could happen if we get through this shit. That makes us even stronger if we don't give up. It would be so easy now just to get back to the old what we had. The miserable lives. But that would be surrendering. Letting them win and love lose. What if we get through this, as a couple? Like really get through? The guys forgiving us, divorces and then the possible press drama...", the singer massaged his arms.

 

"I know I know... Guess that is just what I do. I'm not saying I would give up. But I have to imagine what it would be like without you. If it happens, then I am even tiny bit prepared", the half Asian sighed.

 

"Cause that's you. You worry and dwell. And then you handle it like a pro that has done it... well like hundred times. You know I was so proud of you yesterday when you talked with Anna. I don't know how you do it but you are kind and respectful and then you put it all out in words so well. Even in situation like that. She was so broken and sad and you just... dunno. I'm glad you're my boyfriend", Chester said his eyes sparkling from joy.

 

"Oh... That's first time you say that. Boyfriend... I like it. I would never have believed I would be in this situation that I can actually call someone my boyfriend. I actually thought about it when you talked with Talinda. I almost scared myself with the thought. So weird really", Mike smiled thinking about the word.

 

"I like it too. So boyfriend, let's have sex?", Chester wiggled his eyebrow.

 

"No! Damn you! I can't walk soon if you continue that. I'm going to shower and then I'll call Rob. He needs to hear about the talk with Anna", the emcee started to back off.

 

"I don't mind if you can't walk... Come on....", the singer chuckled playfully, teasing the other.

 

Mike jumped out from the bed and ran to the shower laughing, "No no no no!"

 

"Killjoy!", Chester yelled bursting into laughter.

 

He shook his head then and got up stretching. Thinking should he join he decided he wouldn't bother the emcee. They had all the time in the world anyway. It kinda felt like they were on some sort of honeymoon. Avoiding going out, spending a lot of time in the bedroom, sleeping late and eating. He knew this wouldn't last forever so he enjoyed it while it lasted.

 

But he also missed spending time with the rest of the band. Making the album, touring... Knowing they should be making the songs was an uneasy feeling. He wondered how different would their working be now, after this. If Brad was angry and sulking it would definitely show. He was afraid that even if it wouldn't break up the band it would cause unwanted tension and make it all just harder for everyone.

 

After pulling on a pair of grey sweatpants he got to the kitchen and started making the coffee while checking his phone. Missed call from Talinda made him groan. What the hell does she want now, he thought pouring the hot water on the coffee grounds. Sighing he started with the toasts and knew he had to call back eventually. Mike walked there when he was just finished with them, smelling amazing. Sure he knew what his shower gel smelled like but it was so different on Mike.

 

"You were fast", the emcee cocked his head.

 

"Sure. Tal had called", Chester sighed glancing the other over his shoulder. Mike was looking extra delicious his hair still wet and drooping on his face.

 

"Oh... Guess you have to call back", Mike muttered fishing out his own phone from his sweatpants pocket. Casual day for both of them but Chester making breakfast without shirt was making his thoughts race again.

 

"Yup... But I want to know first what Rob says", the singer handed him a cup of steaming hot coffee and a plate of toasts before picking his own from the countertop.

 

Mike nodded and followed the other to the living room.

 

"Hi. So I call about the talk yesterday with Anna", he said when the drummer had answered the phone. "She was... well I think she was mostly just sad and heartbroken. She understood that Talinda can't continue with what she is doing. And promised to sign the divorce papers and what ever is needed."

 

"That's good!", Rob sound almost cheery.

 

"Right... Yeah well, don't think Talinda has calmed down. She had called Chester and I really don't even want to know what she has to say. I asked Anna to talk with her so I hope she did it. Anna told she drinks. I think that's the problem. And will be if she doesn't stop it", Mike glanced at the singer who was listening but not looking at him.

 

Rob sighed. "Yeah, well... She looked drunk on the pictures. But we really need to make an statement soon."

 

"I know. How's Brad?", Mike sighed. He didn't care about Talinda. But Brad he did. If Brad couldn't forgive him there was really no point in anything.

 

"Mad. Pissed. Angry. And sad. He is in the studio again. Apparently he has made some heavier stuff. He played one idea to me on phone and it sounded pretty good.", the drummer said wondering how would Mike feel about it.

 

"I see... Well I... I don't know. Hope he forgives me some day", the emcee mumbled.

 

Rob sighed. He didn't want to see this all. And being in the middle was even worse. He hated to see three of his friends hurt. Three... But two sides only. He didn't mind the relationship. Sure the wives were hurt, but it isn't like it didn't happen otherwise too. In people that weren't in the public eye. But he wondered how differently would it all have happened if they would have talked with each other years ago. And not even the cheating part, but would Brad have accepted it better.

 

"I hope so. But you know how he is like. He rarely shows how he really feels. I assume that deep down inside he is mostly just hurt. And the anger on the surface is caused by the hurt inside". He can be so cryptic at times, he said then.

 

"I know. I just... Please talk to him okay? I want my friend back", Mike sighed watching the singer stretch.

 

"I will. So... The divorces. That's done?", the drummer muttered.

 

"Divorces, yeah well Anna of course but don't know about...", the half Asian answered noticing not Chester glancing at him. The singer sighed and shrugged.

 

"Chester says dunno yet either. But since Talinda had called they will speak soon", he nodded like Rob would even see it.

 

"Call me, text me then. We don't have an ultimatum but I guess the management wants to hear some news", the other said.

 

Getting to a mutual agreement they hung up.

 

"Again the divorce shit?", Chester frowned.

 

Mike rolled his eyes. "You take it way too lightly. We ruined their lives. But yes that again."

 

"I don't take it lightly. But honestly Tal acting like a psycho doesn't help. Anna... I feel her. And I am sorry for her. But... No. If Tal thinks revenge is way to do it then I don't want to have any warm feelings... well about our past. Cause this is what she has become and I refuse to think I- we, have caused it. If we would have then why isn't Anna a psycho?", the singer threw his hands in the air.

 

"She will calm down eventually", Mike tried to reassure the other. That was one of his good qualities too. Trying to think positive things about other people. Even when the other person was acting as bad as Talinda. "But Chester. Could you please go and get a shirt on?"

 

The singer let out a laughter the corners of his eyes wrinkling. "Oh, you likey again?"

 

"Yes, I likey again", Mike arched his eyebrow.

 

"Fine. I'll do that. So I don't distract you", Chester grinned deviously and went to get the shirt.

 

When he got back he sighed pulling the shirt over his head. "Guess I have to call Tal now. Not smart to wait longer. But I really don't want to talk with her."

 

"I know Ches", the half Asian nodded and hugged him.

 

Chester grabbed his phone, choosed Talinda's name from the list and bit his lip.

 

"Hi. You called?", he said feeling nervous.

 

"Yeah. Anna told me about your conversation. Divorce?", she sounded mad which wasn't surprise.

 

"Well, if you think about it you should realize that it's the only way possible. Why the hell would I want to stay married to you when I'm not planning on living with you", the singer frowned not following Talinda's train of thought.

 

"So you'll gonna live with the little bitch?", the woman said.

 

Chester glanced at Mike happy that he couldn't hear Talinda and growled. "You don't talk about him like that."

 

"I talk about him just the way I want. There's nothing you can do about it", she laughed.

 

The singer didn't want to continue the subject. "I assume she also told you that the stunt you arranged was stupid and irresponsible and that's the last time you will do something like that. We already talked about it but that's from management now."

 

She laughed again. "No Chester. I don't give a shit. I do what ever I want and if it destroys the band of yours... his, then so be it."

 

"You don't understand what I am saying. You will pay if you do something that stupid again", he was fuming. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation with a woman he once loved.

 

"So will he", she said and hung up.

 

"Fuck!", Chester yelled and hit the coffee table with his fist causing the coffee cups cling.

 

"What happened?", Mike asked rubbing the small of his back to calm him down.

 

"She doesn't care. She is just as revengeful as I feared. So yeah, if it blows up we know who to blame", he groaned feeling frustrated, pissed and anxious. "What do we do now?"

 

"I don't know. We can't... we can't do anything before she does. If she does. Maybe she just wants to scare us apart? Maybe she... well it could be that she isn't going to do anything. And even if she does, maybe it isn't even as bad as we think. That it would destroy the band. Right?", the emcee nudged him.

 

Chester shook his head. "No. She said she doesn't care if what she does destroys the band. That's plan to me. And she... she said you will pay. I don't know what it means but.. Mike I hate her", the other said letting Mike pull him to his arms.

 

"Well she can have all the plans she wants but it doesn't mean they will eventually go as she likes. And no you don't. You are too kind to hate. Where is the brave Chester that was so convincing earlier in the bed? You said it yourself, we will get through this. We just have to wait and see what she does", the half Asian kissed his cheek.

 

"I love you Mike", the other sighed relaxing finally. He knew the emcee was right.

 

"I know you do. That's why we will get through this", Mike smiled squeezing him tighter.

 

\------


	19. But in a way, our mistakes have brought us here today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning- for the smut

 

\------

 

"Ches?", Mike called him from the kitchen. He had gotten an idea but didn't know how Chester would react.

 

"Huh?", the singer yelled back but followed then the voice.

 

"Don't say 'no' as first thing okay? I was thinking. Again, I know. We haven't done really anything that a couple would do. Like, well like a normal couple you know? Could we... well I would like to have some sort of date night", the emcee said and felt his cheeks burn. Two grown man and romantic date night didn't quite sound what they were supposed to be doing.

 

Chester laughed. "Mike that's so sweet! Of course we can do that! Do you have a plan already?"

 

Mike chuckled to the other's enthusiastic answer. "Well I was thinking if we make a nice dinner. And then maybe watch a horror movie with some red wine. Today."

 

"If you promise to scream like a school girl and I can be the knight in shiny armor and save you. Sounds good, really. Honestly I think we need it. But before that I was thinking I could maybe try to write some lyrics. I got an idea to the last song we were working with in the studio", the singer said kissing his cheek.

 

"That's fine. I could ran to do the groceries. Hopefully avoiding media. Guess it should have settled down tiny bit", Mike drank the last drops of coffee.

 

It had been few days since they had last talked with Rob. Since Chester had had the conversation with Talinda. He had been down hours after that, despite the fact that Mike was there for him and boosted his mood. They had tried to avoid social media and all that, just waiting for Rob to call them if there would be any issues. Silence could have been good thing, but Mike wasn't so sure about it.

 

"You sure you don't want my help there?", Chester asked. He was reluctant to let the other leave without him, but on the other hand they should also try to get used to the fact that they couldn't spend every single hour together.

 

The emcee shook his head. "No I'm fine. Besides we shouldn't be seen together like that in public. Would be awkward."

 

"Okay, boyfriend", the singer said emphasizing the word while wiggling his eyebrow.

 

"Are you gonna do that like... for the rest of our lives?", Mike laughed.

 

The other kissed the tip of his nose and smacked his ass. "Yes."

 

Mike shook his head smirking and started to gather his stuff for the grocery store trip. He found it same time weird and funny. Being in this relationship could probably be the best thing in his life. If only they would get through it all.

 

"Babe, we need more coffee", Chester frowned looking at the cabinet. ___I thought there was still one huge bag left but either it had disappeared or there wasn't one at first place_ , he wondered inwardly.

 

"You drink way too much coffee", Mike rolled his eyes.

 

 _Or that_ , the singer thought.

 

"Can't help it. Love the taste of the sweet nectar. In the morning, in the evening, after a workout, after shower, and oh oh after sex! Especially after sex", Chester tilted his head his thoughts traveling somewhere far away.

 

"Ooohkay, Mr. Bennington, the coffee addict. I'm gonna leave now. Anything else's you want?", the half Asian sighed smiling.

 

"Your ass?", the other said his eyes lightning up.

 

Mike sighed again and rolled his eyes. "You're hopeless. See you soon."

 

Chester watched his boyfriend leave the house and grabbing his coffee cup with, he got back to the bedroom. Playing guitar while sitting on a bed was exactly what he felt like could work now.

 

Meanwhile Mike drove to the grocery story thinking about all that had already happened. He couldn't comprehend how far they had gotten. From the days he had just dreamt of being with Chester to actually using the 'boyfriend' word. Back then when he watched the singer take control of the whole stage and charm everyone looking at him, including himself, to this day when they were on somewhat lockdown, together. When he had wondered how it would feel if Chester would kiss him and undress him. And now he was blushing in the middle of the grocery story just thinking about it all. Smiling he shook his head trying to chase the thoughts away.

 

Quickly he collected items to his cart not even knowing really what he was going to make. Something from here and there and finally he thought he had plenty of stuff to do any of his favorites and thus being ready. Driving back to the house made him realize he couldn't be apart from Chester. Just few hours without the singer and his heart was already racing, aching to see him.

 

Finally there he lifted all what he had bought to their proper places feeling amused that he had gotten that used to the house and how Chester like all organized. And Chester's style to organize things was so weird that you couldn't even call it 'organization'. He heard the other playing guitar somewhere farther in the house and went to search for him.

 

"Hey... Whoa!", the singer greeted him but was interrupted when Mike jumped on his lap tossing the guitar aside, kissing and hugging him.

 

"What's wrong?", he asked confused when Mike leaned back.

 

The half Asian shook his head smiling. "Nothing. I just missed you."

 

"You were away just for few hours", Chester let out a bubbly laughter his eyes sparkling.

 

"I know. I just love you so much. In the middle of the grocery store I suddenly realized I couldn't manage without you", Mike sighed.

 

"Oh babe... Neither could I. Love you too", the singer squeezed Mike's face between his hands and gave a wet smooch on his lips. "What did you buy?"

 

"Lots of stuff. I couldn't decide what to make so I thought maybe you could", the emcee laughed.

 

"Okay. What are the options?", Chester entwined their fingers smiling.

 

Mike tilted his head thinking. "Well, I thought about pasta carbonara. You know the one with proper pancetta. Then I was thinking the turkey meatballs with veggie side. The ones that have garlic and parsley. But chicken caprese was one thing that also was stuck in my mind."

 

"The last one sounds yummy. But you remembered the coffee, right?", Chested arched his brows.

 

"Chester! Of course I did! Couldn't forget your precious coffee even if I wanted to", the emcee laughed. "Okay, will do that then. Did you manage to sort out any ideas?"

 

"Kinda. But then I just ended up playing Dead by Sunrise songs", the singer frowned.

 

Mike glanced at the acoustic guitar and stopped to think. Sure he had heard the songs but not listened to them as much as the ones they had made together. He didn't know should he be embarrassed that he couldn't instantly remember the songs. But 'Give Me Your Name' he remembered. And the jealousy was stinging. "Songs? Like... 'Give Me Your Name', or what was it."

 

"'Into You' rather. And yes I was thinking about you and how it suits our situation", Chester said knowing what Mike had thought.

 

He couldn't remember what was it about. "Oh?"

 

"You're being silly. I know that look when I see it. I will write tons of songs for you in the future. There is a part that goes, 'Say goodbye to yesterday, I made it through, I'm here today despite what I was told, you were there to rescue me, you shined a light so I could see'", Chester explained and sang then the part.

 

Mike ogled him his heart thudding again loud. _He is all mine_ , he thought.

 

"You're staring at me. Again.... Mike", the singer laughed.

 

"You're so beautiful when you sing", the emcee mumbled.

 

"You have seen me sing like thousands of times", Chester said pushing him on his back and kissing him.

 

"I know... But it's still amazing. And then you said you were thinking about me", Mike tugged his ear jewelry which was now plain dark wood plug.

 

"Of course I was. Maybe I didn't write it back then thinking about you. But it still reminds me of you. And there would be plenty of other songs that would remind me of you. And I promise you, I will write stuff for you. So you can stare at me like that again. Cause I love when you stare at me like that. I think I said 'you' quite a many times", the other murmured happily.

 

"Hope you'll keep that promise. If we ever get back to the stage with the others... Oh wait that could be awkward really. You singing for me at the stage and me next to you... Yeah", the emcee chuckled.

 

"They wouldn't know that it's about you", Chester shook his head and got up pulling the other with him.

 

"I would though... Do you want to continue or help me? Not that you have to help anyway but...", Mike asked stroking his arm.

 

"I'll help in a few", the other said nodding.

 

Mike nodded in return and after giving a small peck to Chester's nose he walked downstairs and further to the kitchen to start making the food. Picking up the items he needed he went to seek for a cutting board and knife. Soon Chester started to play the guitar again but Mike couldn't hear any singing. Easily his mind settled and next all of his thoughts were gone and he focused only to the cooking.

 

When he had gotten the chicken on the pan Chester joined him to the kitchen. "Hey, you were fast. Have you chosen a movie yet?"

 

"No, didn't think about it too much, thought I would need your opinion too. There was a sequel for Grave Encounters. But I'm really just fine with what ever you want", the emcee glanced over his shoulder smiling.

 

"I haven't seen it yet. But I did enjoy the first one. So, okay, I'll get it ready", Chester kissed his cheek enthusiastically and left him to handle the food alone.

 

Mike shook his head and chuckled inwardly. Not that he didn't like to cook but the situation between them was funny. He was playing the housewife and Chester the man of the house. At least today. But he was even more content to that than he could have ever thought he would have been.

 

"Ready!", he shouted grabbing two plates and utensils from a cupboard, placing them to the countertop.

 

Chester was suddenly beside him staring at the chicken that had cover in melting mozzarella which was now oozing to the plate when Mike lifted the piece on it. "That looks so good. Movie is set too. Would you like to grab a bottle of red?"

 

Mike nodded and went to the huge wine cooler that he had walked past so many times but never actually opened. He stared at the bottles and frowned. Sure he loved red wine, but most of these names didn't say that much for him, that he would know what would be good. "Uhmmmm, didn't know you had this much wines. Which one?"

 

The singer laughed. "Yeah well... Any one of them will do really. I rarely remember to drink wine with the food, so it shouldn't even matter. Oh, except the 2000 year Margaux."

 

"Well that Chateau I know. It's expensive right?", the emcee choose one that didn't look expensive. Not that they wouldn't have money but the wines weren't his in the first place.

 

"Well not crazy expensive. Just over a thousand dollars a bottle, or something like that. But I bought a case of twelve bottles to celebrate Hybrid Theory few years after all that craziness. It's the last one left from that batch", he explained and grabbed a bottle opener from a drawer.

 

"I almost guessed it had a deeper meaning", Mike nodded taking out two big wine glasses.

 

"Cause you're smart. And loving. And thoughtful. And...", the singer popped the wine open.

 

Mike shook his head laughing. "Okay drop that instantly or I will get all flushed and uncomfortable. Besides the food is getting cold."

 

Chester chuckled and poured the wine while Mike took their plates and utensils. Soon they were comfortably on the couch eating while trying to keep up with the movie.

 

"That was good. Thank you", Chester patted his belly and took a better position on the couch.

 

"Next time I'll try something different", the emcee took a sip from his glass that had remained almost untouched during the eating.

 

The other glanced at him and took then his own glass. "Come here?"

 

Mike crawled between his legs and laid there leaning to him, his head on his chest. Chester then wrapped his arm around Mike's chest a huge smile painted on his face.

 

"You okay?", he asked after a while when Mike had flinched at the movie.

 

"No", the emcee turned his head to look at Chester. He was about to get confused that had he done something wrong but Mike was smiling.

 

"No, I'm not just 'okay'. I'm happy. Satisfied, feeling loved... All that. And there are still these annoying butterflies in my stomach that make me go all giddy. Yeah, after all these years. Don't laugh at me. I blushed at the grocery store when I was thinking about you", the emcee sipped his wine feeling.

 

"I'm not laughing. You don't know how happy it makes me to know how happy I make you. Why you were blushing?", Chester stroked Mike's hair loving how the silky strands felt like between his fingers.

 

"Just the... You know.... You shirtless. Covered in sweat, your muscles stretched tight when you rock the stage. And then when you usually came to hug me and you were hot and slippery. I had to force my thoughts elsewhere so I wouldn't show my excitement for the audience. And the guys. It happened so, so many times... Then changing clothes backstage... I wondered how good it would feel if you would have undressed me, as I watched you wipe the sweat with a towel and the beautiful grin spread on your face. Yeah, that one", Mike mumbled looking at the other grin. He was already hard, but thinking about Chester like that wouldn't lead him anywhere else.

 

"And you're cute when you blush. Anything else before I blow you?", the singer arched his brow placing his wineglass on the table.

 

The half Asian gasped when the other crawled so smoothly from underneath him and was now on top. He grabbed his wineglass joining it with the other and leaned then back.

 

"Whoa...", Mike mumbled watching Chester pull of his shirt revealing the muscles he had just talked about.

 

"Yeah, exactly. Keep talking. I love it", Chester kept smirking while his fingers hooked under the waistband of Mike's sweats and boxers both.

 

Mike swallowed smiling not really minding how their date night had turned to them both getting turned on by his talk. He watched while the singer pulled his pants down, freeing his throbbing member. "Uhm... Shit. Well then your ass. I told you before I like it. So many times I have stared at it and..."

 

"Yes?", he was interrupted when he felt the warm lips on his inner thigh kissing the sensitive skin softly, making him shiver.

 

"And I wondered what it would feel like to squeeze it. In the skinny jeans you love to wear, it looks amazing", he continued receiving another set of kisses up along his thigh.

 

"And?", the singer paused again smirking.

 

"God I hate when you tease me like that", Mike almost growled.

 

Chester chuckled throwing his head back. "No you don't. You love it."

 

"No I don't. I love where it leads. But so do you", it was Mike's turn to smirk.

 

The singer waited for him to continue which Mike knew perfectly well but he didn't want to give in just that instantly. Soon he sighed rolling his eyes.

 

"Then I... had thought how your hands would feel on me. On my cheeks caressing gently. Then on my naked skin feeling it out. Traveling across my chest and to my sides. Maybe pulling my hair and stroking my cock...", the half Asian mumbled feeling out of breath.

 

"Like this?", the singer coiled his fingers around the hard on that was just inches away from his face.

 

Mike let out a impatient moan when Chester stroked him so excruciatingly slowly. "Yeah, like that."

 

"I think we are getting somewhere. My muscles, my ass, my hands... Anything else?", the singer breathed licking his lips.

 

"I have a déjà vu. But I won't let it bother me. Your lips, babe... They are so soft... When you were singing I thought what if the microphone would be me and you wouldn't just sing but... Holy shit fuck!", the emcee yelped when Chester suddenly engulfed all of him.

 

He tried to take a breath, to keep breathing but the wet sensation was already overwhelming. Swallowing hard he knew he had to continue.

 

"And I still hate that you don't have hair where to pull. Back in the day... I dreamt of this, but instead me forcing you to suck me by pulling your hair", he rasped frowning.

 

Chester would have chuckled but the cock deep inside his mouth prevented it. He rolled his eyes and pulled up to encircle the tip with his tongue. Running it over the slit and then back and forth, he made the emcee moan and tense up. Dipping his head back down he made sure the whole length was nice and wet before he added his hand back there, wrapping his fingers around the base.

 

Mike was whimpering already. The hot mouth felt damn good, heavenly, and he was annoyed that he didn't have anything to grab to. Instead he dug his fingers down on to Chester's shoulders when the other added just perfect amount of suction while his hand made a slow twisting motion with the pumping. The half Asian's mind was again a total whirlwind, trashing him around. The pleasure was so much, so intense.

 

"Fuck that feels good", he threw his head back biting his lip.

 

The tongue was running up his length and then circling around the tip while the hand kept stroking slowly. Mike bucked his hips as Chester swallowed him again whole. Glancing down he saw the red, moist lips working their way up and down his cock. The sight was so sensual and enthralling. His vision was blurring and blindly he searched Chester's other lacing their fingers together. Suddenly there was new sensation which made white spots appear behind his eyelids and him wonder was he about to pass out.

 

"Please do that again", he pleaded whimpering softly.

 

Chester followed the instructions letting the member hit the back of his throat while he swallowed it once again as far as he could. Mike's hand squeezed his hand tighter, while his own hand squeezed Mike's cock tighter pumping in steady rhythm.

 

"Oh my god....babe", Mike gasped feeling the electricity burn its way through him.

 

Then there was the hum vibrating over his cock when Chester agreed with him, and he lost it. The shockwaves started from him abdomen rippling through him. With a gasp he came, shooting his load while the singer had to concentrate to swallow it all. Trying to come down from the orgasm he blinked to get his vision back. As he managed, he watched Chester pull off from his cock still licking his lips and crawl then beside him.

 

"Fuck I love you", he murmured receiving a chuckle from Chester.

 

The singer leaned in and fused their lips together forcing Mike to taste his own cum that he had just swallowed. The tongue pushed eagerly in his mouth and then there were the hands caressing his cheeks. Chester stopped to catch a breath his lips ghosting over Mike's, sending the wonderful shivers again down his spine.

 

Wrapping his arm around the singer's naked waist he sighed utterly happy. "You're too good to me."

 

"Oh baby... This is just a start", Chester smiled his eyes glistening with joy.

 

\------


	20. The problems have two faces

 

\-------

 

"Ches... I have been thinking", Mike said raking his hair.

 

Chester raised his eyes from the magazine that he was reading. "Again?"

 

That's what it had been for them. Chester wasn't complaining really. He had so little free time normally that this was nice change. He was just soon running out of stuff to do. And now he was reading the newest Kerrang again with his coffee.

 

The emcee rolled his eyes at the grinning man. "Yes. Again. I'm going to the studio today. Brad being there or not. I need to get out of this house. No offend but... I still feel like I am just crashing. And Talinda's stuff laying around... My head is exploding."

 

"You should have said something!", the singer gasped in disbelief. He couldn't believe that Mike had kept that in.

 

Mike shook his head vigorously. "No no no! I didn't mean... I know this is the situation now. We can't make things happen faster than they already are happening, you know? But I just need to get out for a while."

 

"Okay. I get it. But what if Brad is there? What are you gonna do then?", the singer sighed. He didn't want them to fight. And if they would be alone then who knows what is going to happen. Last time they had spoke with Rob he had said the guitarist was still mad.

 

"Then he is. And then I'll confront him. I... Chester I miss him so much. I want to go back to the days when we could talk about anything. It's my fault that it happened and I am going to try everything before I give up. I can't lose my best friend cause I didn't think further", Mike shook his head sadly.

 

"Oh honey... You shouldn't blame yourself. We talked about this already", the singer tossed his glasses on the table and pulled him to a kiss.

 

"I know. He needs time. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't apologize always when I have a chance", Mike breathed. He couldn't even explain how much it hurt that Brad wouldn't talk with him.

 

"Just don't forget that I love you. I'm not going anywhere", Chester tried to reassure him, to calm his nerves.

 

"Yeah. I really hope you won't", the emcee sighed stroking his cheek.

 

Chester squeezed him tightly. "Mike. Don't get all gloomy. We will handle it. Do you want me to come with you? I mean... If Brad is there."

 

"No. I need to face him alone", Mike mumbled his mind blurring with fear. "I'm scared."

 

"That... we don't make it?", the other stared at him, like he was seeing to his soul.

 

"Yeah. Mostly that Brad doesn't forgive me. Like, at all. I just can't get past the feeling. What would I be without him?", he said sadly.

 

"He will. I'm sure he will", Chester nodded. But the way he did it made Mike believe him. His eyes were stern but there was a soft smile on his lips.

 

Mike sighed and nodded then returning the smile. "So I'll head to the studio then."

 

"And meantime I'll pack up Tal's stuff. At least some of them. She has so much clothes that... I can't even believe how they fit in the closets", the singer said knowing that the clothes weren't going to be only thing he was about to pack. All the memories too, the past. Their past.

 

"I don't think you should. She will kill you", Mike frowned. He didn't like the idea. The woman was so unpredictable now.

 

"Mike, I have to. I'm not living with her anymore and all that... it bugs me too. She won't do it anytime soon by herself. So I can at least pack the stuff and move them to garage. And then your stuff goes where it belongs", the singer rubbed Mike's beard with his thumb.

 

Mike stared at him eyes wide. "Really?"

 

"Hey, are you seriously asking that? Why not? It's not like I would want to live alone. You know what that would mean? Two of us having our own places but then switching back and forth", the singer shook his head stroking Mike's arms.

 

"No I just... I still haven't gotten used to this whole thing. And you know my studio and all that", the emcee mumbled dropping his head.

 

"Okay. Then let's figure out something else. But Tal doesn't live here anymore, that's certain. Now I need to find the huge plastic bags I know I have somewhere and get to work. She probably has more shoes than me and you know that's a lot", Chester pushed him from his lap.

 

Mike shook his head smiling. The whole situation was so absurd but somehow Chester managed to keep him sane. Feeling nervous he grabbed the car keys and after kissing the other man he headed to the studio.

 

The whole drive there he tried to prepare himself what was about to come. Again thinking the worst case scenarios. First he thought he wouldn't want to see the guitarist, but then again maybe that's what they would actually need. To talk alone, without any of the other members of the band.

 

Finally he parked outside the studio and glanced around. Brad's car wasn't outside and he couldn't tell was he relieved or disappointed. Sighing he walked in but was instantly greeted with wall of music. He just stood there listening, the heavy, rather aggressive guitar drilling his ears. Brad was bend over the mixing table obviously concentrating to what he was doing.

 

Mike swallowed hard and slowly walked to the other side of the table, so that Brad would notice him. As Brad did and turned to face him Mike instantly realized he had been crying. His eyes were red and cloudy from the salty tears. He paused the music and leaned back on the chair staring in front of him.

 

"Hi. I didn't... Sorry I interrupted. That's... heavy stuff", he mumbled not knowing what to say.

 

"Yeah", Brad's eyes darkened when he glanced at him and sighed sighed, "The fuck are you doing here?"

 

"I needed to get out and maybe even get some work done. Didn't.... Well I thought I could come here even if you would be here", Mike said trying to read Brad's emotions.

 

The guitarist shook his head in disbelief. "To get out? Are you sick of him already?"

 

Mike stared at him realizing this would only end to him getting pissed. "No. Didn't mean that. I meant that.... We have stayed there from the start. He hasn't gone even to the gym. You know how he loves the gym. That's how scared we have been. What Talinda did... That's was like bomb blowing up at our faces. Nothing is... I don't even assume to stuff... Fuck. I don't even need things to stay as they were. But she..."

 

His voice faded into the thin air. He could almost taste the tension in the room. As Brad stared at him the eyes were piercing through, hurting him.

 

"I miss you", the half Asian managed to mumbled.

 

"Yeah well... That's too bad", Brad mumbled frowning.

 

"God! What do you want me to say?! I can't undo it! Are you going to be that bitter for the rest of our lives or what the hell!", Mike yelled and was surprised how loud it came out.

 

"Mike fuck you. You can't expect me to forgive you so soon. You broke my trust for fuck's sake!", the guitarist threw his hands in the air.

 

"You think I don't know that! We already talked about it, I have heard it so many times that I can't forget it. It's the first thing in my mind when I wake up. Don't you see how bad I feel?! I miss you as a friend and it hurts that I can't talk with you. But it hurts even more that I know it was my fault. I fucked up and I can't take it back. I can't! No matter what I do it won't change the fact that I fucked up", the emcee yelled again feeling he would break down in tears any second now.

 

Brad watched him for a while and turned then his gaze away. They sat in silence for what felt like ages. Finally the guitarist cleared his throat and turned back at him.

 

"So you are sure this will last?", he asked lifting his eyebrow.

 

Mike sighed feeling his heart was heavy with sadness and worry. "Yes. It will last. Of course I can't speak for Chester but right at this moment he is packing up Talinda's stuff. When we have figured out how, I'm probably moving there. Or so. Don't know. I like my studio."

 

Brad raked his beard thinking. "Are you going to be all awkward around us?"

 

"So that's the real problem?", Mike frowned ready to get really pissed.

 

"No... I just... I don't think I can handle it yet", Brad mumbled.

 

"Well.... I assume since it was that hard to keep our hands off of each other that long... yes we would be kissing in front of you guys. But I understand what you mean and... yeah, sure we can try to behave. But it's not like... Kissing is the most intimate thing you would see. Really. Even touring. Oh my god I didn't even think that far", Mike tried to explain himself fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

 

"Okay. I get it. As I said I just need more time. But guess I... maybe I need to meet you in the halfway", the guitarist sighed. "You know I how I hate conflicts."

 

Mike got speechless and he needed to remind himself that this was just one step forward, not that big thing yet. And could probably not even mean anything. "Really? Are you saying that we could continue working with the album? And we could talk like... like we used to?"

 

The guitarist nodded. He felt bad how he had behaved, but on the other hand he knew he had every right to be mad. It just wasn't fair to not even try to make amends. If he would just continue to block up Mike's tries to make everything right he would end up alone and miserable. He didn't want to be that guy, even when forgiving was hard.

 

"Can I scream now and get all excited?", Mike's eyes were filled with joy.

 

Brad rolled his eyes and grinned. "No."

 

"But I can at least hug you!", the emcee jumped up squeezing him to a tight hug.

 

"Okay, that's enough! Fuck off already", the other pushed him away laughing.

 

Mike couldn't be happier that they had now somewhat truce. Maybe it would all be fine after all. Maybe Brad would forgive and he could have the love of his life and the friendship of his life.

 

"So you're moving in with him?", the guitarist asked. He was still trying to get used to the idea of his two friends being in love but as Rob had said he couldn't have anything against love. It was rather a bliss that the band's main characters were that close.

 

"I want to live with him. But the problem is that I also love my studio and even if Chester gives me permission to build a new one it's never the same", Mike felt weird that he could talk about it finally. Same time it was awkward and same time like there was huge weight off his shoulders.

 

"I get it. How about Anna?", Brad leaned back on his chair and relaxed.

 

Mike shook his head. "I don't know. She was fine with the divorce. Sad but... not like Talinda. I tell you, if looks could kill I would be dead. She had such loathing in her eyes that I almost felt how sick she was. I don't blame her. So many times I have said it, but it's true. Chester was fuming. He told he hates her, but I don't think he is capable on hating. But yeah, I'm still unsure of the whole divorce thing and all that. It has to be done but you know how I hate all the legal stuff and paper work."

 

"You should just let the layers handle it. Like, all. But I meant the house? Where will she go? Like... does she get money in the divorce? What's your prenup like? Or... do you even have any?", the guitarist raised his brows.

 

"Yeah. Really strict one. But I can't remember the details. Guess I need to call the lawyer. The house... Thinking that someone else would live in there is a weird feeling. If it would be Talinda I would probably just... I hate how she has behaved. But Anna was so... humane. She didn't go all crazy even when she had every right to be. She said she had even locked the studio door from Talinda. And Talinda didn't give any signs that she would destroy my stuff. But that's how she is. Still don't get why Anna is like that but Talinda went mental", the emcee wondered.

 

"That's good I guess. So you two have just stayed inside? You said he hasn't gone to gym even. How is that possible? He was so addicted to it before", Brad said and took a water bottle that was only half way full from the side table.

 

"Yeah. I didn't even ask him why. But honestly we have just both been scared after Talinda's stunt. The social media went crazy and we just didn't want to be part of any of that. I went to grocery store yesterday and all went well so I guess we could start living our lives normally again", Mike nodded thinking had he become Chester's new obsession. Or the sex. Which made him chuckle and then blush cause he knew Brad wasn't ready for that. He might never be.

 

"Okay... I... I was first reluctant to come here but then I realized that if we are already paying of this we should just use it. Then I just have been trying to get stuff done and I think I have thirty-something ideas down. Some on paper but most I got recorded. Just tiny ones! Don't get excited", the guitarist told pointing at the computer.

 

"The one you had playing when I came in.. It sounded really good. Different but if we want to continue the theme I see a great record ahead", Mike smiled.

 

"Yeah... Heaviest stuff since... Well Hybrid Theory. Guess it's good", Brad chuckled.

 

"Play it again for me? If me maybe could join you here tomorrow and get some work done", the half Asian asked feeling hopeful.

 

Brad nodded and did just that. Together they listened to it and before Mike even realized several hours had passed. As his phone buzzed he glanced at the clock.

 

"Sorry, it's Chester", Mike mumbled and got to texting back to the man.

 

The guitarist nodded and watched Mike type quickly few words. Even then, while typing a text message his eyes were glowing, and Brad realized that no matter what would have happened, their love would last. Not that he didn't have believed Mike's words when he told it wasn't just a crush but seeing it really like that was another thing.

 

"Okay so, I need to get going, but... Should we continue tomorrow? Or is it too soon for you?", the half Asian asked. He was unsure how they would work in future, them all in same room, but he wanted to try it and felt sooner was better than later. They still had crazy amount if work to do.

 

Brad nodded again. "I think it's fine. I notify the others and finish here if you want to go."

 

The emcee smiled and started to leave. When he opened the door he turned on his heels. "Hey Brad?"

 

The other turned to face him tilting his head. "Yeah?"

 

"Thank you. I don't know what I would have done if I would have lost you", he smiled and after the guitarist had nodded back he left.

 

A whole assortment of emotions ran through Brad but he was glad he had taken a step forward. Now he just needed to figure out how to direct his emotions I the future.

 

Back at the house Mike searched the singer instantly. He was sitting on the bed in the middle of Talinda's clothes and accessories. Mike hadn't tell him on the text message what had happened but Chester guessed that nothing too bad since he had been gone so many hours.

 

"Hey. You okay?", he asked when the emcee stood in front of him but the smile gave Mike away.

 

Mike laughed. "Brilliantly. He decided to step away from the anger and I guess we can figure out how to live with this."

 

"Mike that's great!", the singer stared at him mouth open. It had went to the exact opposite he had thought, but he was ecstatic he had been wrong.

 

"Yeah! And he had made excellent new stuff and seems like the album will be even heavier than we thought at first. He had recorded lots of small ideas that could really be something", Mike sat down sighing and still smiling. "The song needs serious drums though."

 

"And you talked?", Chester asked carefully.

 

Mike nodded feeling that love perhaps did conquer it all. "Yes. He... Sounded like he used to. And we are going back to studio tomorrow. All of us."

 

"Oh we are?", Chester arched his eyebrows and scooted closer to Mike.

 

Mike was almost bouncing around. That happy he was. "Yeah. I think we'll be fine."

 

"I think so too. So now, are you too exhausted or would you like to help me? There's not much left but it's done faster if we do it together", Chester pointed at the stuff around him.

 

"Sure I'll help", the half Asian answered kissing the singer who just chuckled at Mike's enthusiasm.

 

We'll be fine, rang in Mike's head.

 

  
\---------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Thank you for reading. If you have any suggestions, ideas, requests, anything just drop a comment. All kudos and reviews are greatly appreciated.


	21. You're gonna listen to me, like it or not

\---------

 

"You ready?", Mike asked turning the car around.

 

They were headed at the studio and Mike had noticed Chester being super nervous. He had been happy yesterday, but today that mood had subsided and Mike could see the panic arise.

 

"Chester. Seriously. They're not going to eat you. That's my job", he said snickering and receiving a glare from the singer. "Sorry that pun was terrible."

 

"I'm fine. Was just thinking about how we'll be able to work in the studio after this all", he said sighing and leaning back on the car seat.

 

Mike shook his head. "Don't know before we try. It wasn't awkward at all yesterday. We just dived into the work."

 

"Okay. We'll see it soon enough anyway", the singer nodded and drawing his lips tightly together.

 

Yesterday they had managed to pack most of Talinda's stuff up and when they finally were done they showered quickly and then curled up to each on the bed. And soon both were far away in the dreamland.

 

The emcee had noticed something was slightly off but he didn't question Chester. And as Chester had noticed that Mike read him like an open book he promised to explain it later. He was just too tired to go through all the emotions again, that had risen during the packing. The green dress she wore at their first anniversary, the grey kashmir shirt he had bought for her from France which she had loved instantly. Then the red halter neck dress she wore when she wanted to impress him or the light yellow silk blouse she wore on many lazy Sunday brunches.

 

There they had went. All neatly folded and piled up then to the plastic bags. Memories he could never forget, memories that made him who he was now. It would be lying if he would say it didn't make him feel anything.

 

When they parked outside the studio and he noticed all cars we're already there he exhaled heavily and closed his eyes to count to ten.

 

"Babe, I'm here", Mike's voice suddenly tickled his earlobe.

 

Chester opened his eyes and tilted his head to lock his eyes with Mike. He had that reassuring 'we'll be okay'- look that made Chester nod and draw a slight smile to his lips.

 

Together they walked in, forcing to not to touch each other. The rest were gathered around the mixing table, on all sides of it. As they joined them the whole room fell silent. It seemed like they all were waiting for Brad's reactions.

 

"Stop staring at me already", he rolled his eyes and waved a hand in the air.

 

Brad knew certainly well that he was the one person they were expecting to blow up or such.

 

"So! We waited for you guys. Only Mike has heard the piece, probably should start with it, right?", Rob cleared his throat trying to direct the awkwardness away.

 

They had shit-ton of work still to do and glaring at each other wasn't an answer.

 

Brad nodded and soon they were all absorbed in the music. The whole atmosphere seemed to be not just ignoring the elephant in the room, but trying to hide it. Focusing to the album making seemed to be working in all ways and soon they had a song that not only sounded brilliant but also could be a perfect single. If only they could get the lyrics done.

 

"Okay I need a break. My brains are just mush. Going circles", Mike groaned rubbing the bridge of his nose.

 

Joe nodded yawning and checked up the time from his phone screen. "Lunch says the clock."

 

Mike nodded. "I'll go to make the call. The list is probably still there. Chester, coffee?"

 

"Yeah, thanks babe", the singer stretched leaning then back on the chair.

 

It wasn't weird for them. How could have it been since they had called each other that many times before. But the other guys hadn't heard it yet like that. Rob sensed instantly how Brad's mood changed. Not a lot, but it was like a light breeze making the small hairs at the back of his neck to stand up. He was about to say something but then the moment was gone and he had to second guess that did he possibly imagine it all.

 

Mike came back soon with the coffees handing Chester his favorite cup filled with his favorite poison and joined him then to the couch. Now, as their minds could wander more freely, the singer had gotten all tensed up again. Mike wanted to hug him but he knew he shouldn't.

 

"Can we talk about... this. Or is it too weird?", Dave said breaking the silence.

 

As Mike nodded he continued, "Brad didn't tell much in phone. He only said that we need to get back to work and you two had talked."

 

"Yeah, that's right. I was getting... pissed off cause he just continued with the hate. Not that I won't get it, but I missed him badly. All the talking and such. So yeah, we talked and I believe he managed to forgive me in some way", Mike explained glancing at the guitarist.

 

Brad sighed. "I think it was getting ridiculous. Not that I can just forget it like that, but I think we can try to move on and act like adults that we are. I'm still mad, but I don't want to lose my best friend cause I'm just being stubborn asshole. And honestly... I can't not be happy for them. Even when this whole thing is a mess."

 

"Great! Where does that lead us then? We are all fine now that we have the lead characters of the band loving each other, right? No sudden surprises to that?", the bassist said and got nods in unison in return.

 

"And living too", Chester said sipping the hot liquid.

 

"Oh. Okay. That means you are even more serious than we thought initially", Dave smiled.

 

"No, initially we thought they were just fucking", Joe grinned glancing at Dave.

 

"We're past that now. So I heard Talinda is living now at Mike's?", Dave ignored the deejay and continued the subject.

 

Mike nodded now, shifting closer to Chester just out of habit. The singer gave him a reassuring look sensing Mike wanted to say something.

 

"We thought... that I would be moving at Chester. But I wouldn't want to leave my studio. But then also that I would force Anna to move out... It even sounds so horrible", he said then.

 

"I'm sure that's the smallest of the problems", Dave raised his eye brow.

 

Mike chuckled shaking his head. "I know. But after this all... That we are sitting in same room with Brad and he hasn't yet stormed out. That's a win for me. So as long as I have Chester and the friendship of Brad I think there are no big issues. Not that I would be forgetting the band our you guys, but you know...."

 

"Okay I think my teeth are rotting", Joe grimaced making them all laugh.

 

"That means we have to deal with Talinda and Anna still. The management took it all really smoothly. Except Talinda's behavior", Rob sighed.

 

"Don't think Anna will be an issue. I could be wrong too, but I would assume that she would have gone crazy now already if she would have intention to do so", Mike shook his head again.

 

"Yeah. What did I do to deserve such hatred? Or rather you. Cause Tal is directing it all towards you", Chester groaned.

 

"Chester. You know I deserve it all. I'm like... well the other woman", the half Asian raised his brow.

 

"You know that's bullshit. I am equally to blame. By Tal but also by Anna. Were guilty all the same in all ways", the singer shook his head vigorously not having that.

 

"Yeah but I mean that...", Mike started but was interrupted but Brad who abruptly stood up.

 

"Great song title guys!", he announced causing them all to frown and stare at each other.

 

"Huh? What are you... Oh! Hey, that's a déjà vu! We talked about it with Chester back when....", Mike stopped to think.

 

The singer snickered. "After our first time. Remember? You had cold feet. And then the regret talk next morning when you had called Anna. And then we got back in the studio and Brad noticed I was wearing your shirt."

 

"Oh... Right. Sure I remember that...", Mike answered blushing. He certainly did. Just not the best situation he wanted to go back to the moment they had fucked the first time.

 

Brad gasped trying furiously think something else.

 

"Erm... So yeah that's good but Brad there are no lyrics yet so...", Dave arched his brow sensing it would be a good time to try to direct the conversation elsewhere.

 

The guitarist nodded and started to search for a notepad. "Of course. But it gives ideas."

 

As they continued with the subject Mike and Chester fell silent.

 

"Sorry. I didn't mean to...", the singer whispered at the emcee.

 

Mike let a smile curl his lip. "No worries hey. It was a bittersweet memory. Hope someday we can look back to those two days and be glad it all happened."

 

"I'm sure we will. I love you Mike", Chester smiled rubbing Mike's palm with his thumb. A tiny gesture that no one could notice.

 

But Joe heard the words and groaned. "I don't have any teeth left soon."

 

"Oh fuck off", Chester chuckled punching his arm.

 

As the food finally arrived started to work again. That song was pushed aside cause lyrics were the next step and none of them had ideas- except Brad who didn't yet reveal his thoughts.

 

The day went by quickly and soon they were ready to leave.

 

"Tomorrow again?", Chester ask almost weirded out that Brad hadn't blown up during the day.

 

But Brad was just as surprised as the others that he could have managed to keep it all in. It was a good sign that he could look at the two lovebirds and not feel bad. He was still unsure and afraid it would all go downhill soon, but for now they were happy and he wanted to be happy for them. Mike hadn't changed as a person, even if a voice back on his mind tried to tell him otherwise. He knew that his best friend was still the same person.

 

"Sent a message for Tal earlier to pick up her stuff. Don't know where she will put it. But I don't care", Chester sighed when they got in the car.

 

"You didn't....", Mike gasped letting his jaw drop.

 

"As I said, I'm living with you now. Don't want my ex-wife's stuff laying around. My next task is to peel all our pictures off of the walls. Don't want to see them either", the singer said glancing at him with a stern look.

 

"I think that's a bad call Ches. She is still hurt. Now you are basically forcing her to move on", the half Asian bit his lip.

 

"And so she should. If she would act like Anna I wouldn't push it so hard. But I honestly don't want anything to do with her when she is being a bitch", Chester mumbled.

 

Mike sighed. He knew Chester was hurt cause of Talinda's behavior. "That's a woman you once loved. Give her some slack okay?"

 

The singer shook his head. He was adamant. "No Mike. Not before she drops the attitude. She can be mad and sour all she wants but directing it to you... Nope. I'm not going to have it."

 

The half Asian exhaled loudly and decided to not answer anymore. Chester was in the mood that he wouldn't even hear what he had to say.

 

And as they turned to the yard Talinda was standing next to her car looking at her phone. Mike could almost see the steam venting from her ears. She was furious.

 

"It was his idea right?", was the first thing she said. Talking about Mike but directing her words to Chester.

 

"No. It was my idea. Why is it that you always think he has done something?" the singer opened the garage door.

 

"Cause he is the reason for all of this in the first place", she said turning her blazing eyes to Mike who wanted just to disappear.

 

Chester sighed and clearly stopped just to calm himself down. "No Tal. How many times do I have to tell you it that you understand it? It was just a coincidence that he acted first. It could have been me. It should have been me, years before that."

 

"So there. Grab them and please leave", he pointed then at the plastic bags.

 

"Are you serious? First of all how do you think I can fit them in the car? Secondly- plastic bags?!", she screeched.

 

"I don't care. They are neatly folded and I tried to be gentle. Even when I just wanted to burn them all", Chester said bitterly but softened his tone then.

 

"I don't assume you to take them all now. Haven't packed the photos and all the statues and such. And the perfumes, lotions all that. Will do them today and you can pick them up tomorrow. With different car", he continued glancing at the convertible. That he had bought.

 

"So you're pushing me out of your life huh? Out of our house?", she stared at the mountain of heavy bags.

 

The singer chuckled his voice dark. "My house. Our life. But yes. There's no place for you in my heart anymore, nor in my house. Which is soon Mike's too."

 

"Chester stop it. That's not...", Mike gasped knowing Chester was just turning the knife on Talinda's back.

 

"Shut up", she said her eyes piercing only making it harder for Mike to try to keep it civil. He bit his lip and dropped his gaze to the ground.

 

"I already said you don't talk to him like that. I really don't get why you turned into this vicious cunt but can you take your stuff already and leave", Chester was squeezing his fists closed, knuckles white. He had to force himself to stay calm.

 

She sighed and grunted then. As she went to pick up the first bag Mike glanced at Chester sad smile on his lips.

 

"Help her okay?", he said voice barely audible.

 

The singer rolled his eyes and obeyed then. They managed to fit four bags to the car so that it would still be safe to drive. And they were the smallest ones.

 

Once done Chester turned on his heels and was about to join Mike and get inside but Talinda grabbed his arm. He opened his mouth trying to ask what does she want but she pushed him against the car.

 

Mike's heart dropped. This he didn't want to see. Chester being handled by his ex-wife in a way only he should be allowed. And then she leaned in closer trying to kiss him.

 

"What the fuck!?", Chester yelled at her face pushing her away at arms length.

 

"Just give me another chance okay? It's not like you could really be a normal couple. You know, we can try new stuff in bed if that's what you...", she said smiling, stroking his chest and swaying her hips.

 

Chester was stunned. He just stood there second his mouth open before he got his thoughts arranged. Mike had never seen him so mad. His face got red and Mike was sure the vein in his temple would pop up soon.

 

"Don't you fucking dare to touch me! You are delusional if you think a second... What the actual fuck. You seriously need professional help. Don't come near us. Ever again. And I mean it- it's us, Mike and me now. Now fuck off from my property or I call the police", he hissed and Mike believed every single word. Chester barely managed to contain himself.

 

"Chaz, don't be like that....", she still tried gripping now to Chester's shirt.

 

"Now!", the singer screamed so loud that probably every neighbor heard it, ripping her hand off of the shirt.

 

Her face turned red from humiliation as she walked past Chester to Mike. The singer was just about to grab her and force her to the car when she reached the emcee. Mike stood still waiting for a punch, like paralyzed. But it didn't come. Instead there were words that felt just as bad.

 

"If you want a fucking war, you'll get it Shinoda", she hissed eyes shadowed by anger.

 

"Fuck you Talinda. Fuck you. Do it and you'll regret it. I'm not playing any games. And I am being serious", Chester didn't give a chance for Mike to answer. "If you haven't left the property in two minutes I'm making the call."

 

And like that Chester guided Mike inside closing the door behind them, not looking back. And there, he slumped down against the door breaking down into tears. Mike sighed heavily and went to sit next to him.

 

"Mike I'm sorry. I handled it so badly... I shouldn't...", he gasped after he managed to take a breath and stop the tear flow.

 

"Stop it Chester. You did nothing wrong", Mike swung an arm over Chester's shoulders pulling him against himself.

 

"Can I now say that I hate her?" the singer mumbled wiping his cheeks.

 

"No. You're not capable to hate. That's a too strong word. Despise, disappointment... try those", Mike whispered.

 

"I don't understand how can you be that kind still. After all she's done", a sad smiled spread on Chester's face.

 

"Cause I love you. I don't care what she does. You're all that I need", the emcee hugged him.

 

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Love you all <3


	22. In every loss in every lie

 

\-------

  
As Mike woke up the first thing he noticed was that Chester wasn't in the bed. His phone was still on the bedside table. It was a little unusual since the singer almost always woke him up as he got up. Unless he was in shower or making breakfast. And since Mike couldn't hear the water running he thought that Chester would be in kitchen.

 

He yawned and stretching his neck slowly he got up. Not bothering to dress up he walked downstairs to the kitchen. But Chester wasn't there either. The whole house was silent. Drawing his brows to a deep frown he shook his head and decided to make the breakfast and eat before he would get worried.

 

When he got to the coffee maker he noticed there was already coffee made and it was still hot. That meant where ever the singer was he had thought about Mike before he had left. After grabbing a yoghurt from the fridge he went to take a coffee cup from the cupboard. Then he grabbed also spoon before heading to the living room and on the couch.

 

After finishing second cup of coffee and the yoghurt and reading the Kerrang that Chester had left on the table third time, he was just about to barge out and go to search the other when the door opened and Chester came in. He was wearing thin black sweatpants, running shoes and a white 'way too low cut from the sides'- shirt and a black baseball cap backwards. Swiftly he removed the shirt and wiped his face to it while kicking the shoes off and throwing the cap on the table. Mike watched as drops of sweat rolled down his neck, the tendons stretching as he moved his head. He was obviously gaping since Chester snickered.

 

"Uhm... I wondered where you were", he managed to say. No matter how many times he had seen the singer like that it was always such a wonderful sight. Deeply arousing one.

 

"I went for a jog. Needed to clear my head. After I had called the lawyer and made sure all is clear and set", Chester said smiling staring at the other who walked past to him to place the cup and spoon in to the dishwasher.

 

"Aaaaand, I hope it worked?", the half Asian asked stopping in front of him now.

 

"Yes it did", the singer sighed looking calm and focused and pulled him into a hug.

 

"Hey! Eeeew! You're all sweaty and now I am sweaty too!", Mike tried to push him away playfully.

 

"But you love me when I'm sweaty. Besides you're coming with me to the shower so it doesn't matter that you're sweaty too", Chester chuckled and wiggled his eyebrow.

 

Mike huffed and tilted his head smiling, "I am? Here we go again. I should give you a nickname cause you're teasing me like that always."

 

The singer rolled his eyes and pulled him with him, directing to the master bathroom. "And we have talked about this before. You like it."

 

"And we have talked about that too. You know where it leads", Mike mumbled with a smirk holding his breath as Chester pushed his pants down and then grabbed to Mike's boxer shorts pulling them down too leaving them all in a pile with his shirt.

 

"Fuck you're hot", the emcee gasped scanning Chester's tense muscles.

 

"But so are you", the singer smiled.

 

Picking up a lube from the nightstand he walked towards the bathroom causing Mike back away in front of him until they were in the shower cubicle. He raked Mike's hair tugging it gently which draw a soft moan from the emcee's mouth. As his lips parted Chester had a perfect chance to fuse their lips together. The heat and scent emitting from Chester's skin was making his head spin as the hand pulled harder forcing him to tilt his head. The singer trailed his lips over the jawline and on to the neck bringing their lower bodies together. Mike hissed when their erect members met, rubbing against each other. He was straining, leaking pre-cum already.

 

"God I love that", Mike murmured as the teeth grazed across his collarbone and the hand pulled harder his dark strands.

 

The singer stroked the back of Mike's thigh letting him lift it to his waist and hook it around him. Mike's long slim fingers massaged his back muscles drawing an exhale from Chester's mouth.

 

"I thought you were going to shower", he snickered looking at Chester's beautiful features.

 

Chester rolled his eyes and opened the faucet letting cool water rain over them. "Better?"

 

"Sure... Shower is weird without water", the emcee joked.

 

"Well I have to agree on that", Chester tilted his head before joining their lips again.

 

As his tongue attacked Mike's mouth the emcee purred in delight and arched his back grinding their groins together. Chester's hand traveled to his ass, squeezing the tensed muscle and further to tease the puckered hole.

 

"Fuck", Mike whispered swallowing hard. Chester smirked fetching the lube from the shelf where he had placed it earlier.

 

Series of small gasps escaped his lips as the singer finally pushed a lubed finger inside him. The lips closed on to his brushing softly before the nips came again, making him intoxicated. He moaned when another finger joined the first scissoring and stretching him. The cool water running over them echoed in his ears and Chester's wet skin against his felt just heavenly.

 

"Hop on", the other said pulling away and using now the lube on his cock.

 

"Uhmmm... You sure you...", Mike frowned. Sure the singer was strong but he was still uncertain.

 

Chester chuckled and shook his head, "Hey, you're talking to me. I'm not as in shape now as I was before but... Yeah."

 

"Fuck... Okay. I'm not going to argue you now. Just don't drop me", Mike rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around Chester's shoulders before hopping onto his lap.

 

They both gasped staring at each other straight to the eyes, and Mike crossed his ankles getting a better position.

 

"Ready?" Chester murmured kissing his neck.

 

Mike nodded and tried to relax even when he was slightly afraid Chester would drop him. The singer adjusted himself and leaned back letting Mike fall lower against the tiles and on his member.

 

"Fuckfuckfuckfuck...", the emcee repeated groaning as the rock hard cock sank inside him. He shuddered biting his lip hard and squeezed his legs tighter around Chester's waist as the overwhelming feeling washed over him.

 

"You're so fucking beautiful like that", Chester breathed smiling.

 

He started to move slowly pushing Mike against the tiles causing him to moan loudly. Mike's arms wrapped tighter and his hand massaged Chester's neck. Chester's fingers dug into his buttocks holding him firmly. He wriggled as the singer started to pound on him, hard.

 

"I'm never getting enough of you", the other mumbled adoring the sight on his lap.

 

Mike moaned, every single muscle on his body tense. He was throbbing and desperately needed a touch, a release. Already the familiar burn was building in his abdomen as Chester drove into him growling, harder and deeper. The desire he felt was almost unbearable and he was seeing stars. He released the grip of his other hand. letting it fall between their stomachs barely able to fit it there to wrap his fingers around his own cock.

 

Chester gasped watching Mike's movements. The lips quivering just inches away from his own as the hand started to stroke the member, made him smile. He felt out of breath. Mike was his, only his and there was no way he would let anyone get between them. And he wanted all of it now. The half Asian bit back a moan when Chester pushed in deeper hitting his prostate and making his back chafe against the rough, wet tiles.

 

"Mike...", he growled when the emcee held his breath and tightened around him.

 

He connected their lips again roughly. Mike's hand clawed his shoulder as the pleasure rushed over him and he came whimpering. And Mike shaking through his climax threw Chester over the edge and he spilled his cum filling the other.

 

"Oh my fucking hell...", the half Asian mumbled incoherently trying to regain his train of thought.

 

The singer pulled out helping Mike's feet back to the floor steadying him.

 

"Babe you need to cut your nails. I think I have dents on my butt cheeks", the emcee chuckled kissing the other.

 

"I'm never letting you go, you know right?", Chester whispered nuzzling his neck and totally ignoring Mike's request.

 

"And I love you too", Mike smiled hugging him.

 

Together they washed each other taking all the time in the world. When they finally felt they were ready to step outside Chester wrapped a huge towel around Mike before getting another one for himself. But they didn't get further than in the bedroom when he pulled Mike on top of him falling on the bed and kissing him passionately.

 

"Sorry but I just... After yesterday I feel like I just have to show you every single minute how much I love you. If something happens", he sighed.

 

"I don't mind but I don't quite understand what that would be. The guys accept us. That's the most important thing. I don't care what else there is. Even our parents... If we tell them. Should we? Do you think we should?", the half Asian stroked his cheek.

 

"I know I know. But there's always something... Wait. It's supposed to be you who does this 'I'm afraid everything will fall apart'- stuff. You have made me soft! Damn you Shinoda!", Chester realized laughing.

 

Mike rolled his eyes. "Yeah well.. Glad you're doing it for once so I don't have to. But seriously yesterday. You don't win anything by getting mad at Talinda."

 

"Mike! She can't talk to you like that! And then making a pass at me. That's just pure... No Mike, I can't tolerate that", the singer frowned not believing that Mike was actually defending the woman.

 

"I know. But what if you just try to be calm and totally ignore her actions? I think she just wants that you get mad. Or us fighting. She is hurt and disappointed. She directs it all to me cause she can't do it to you. She still loves you. Please Chester, just drop it okay? Let her do what she does and ignore it. She can't win that way", the emcee mumbled almost pleading.

 

Chester sighed and bit him lip. _Guess he is right. Like he always is_ , he thought.

 

"Okay. I hear you. Just... I hate that. I know what it is to be hurt. Maybe not the way she is, but still. It doesn't justify her actions. To act like an asshole", he finally said running his thumb over Mike's lower lip.

 

"It makes people do weird stuff. I hope, like really hope... and kinda also assume that she will get through it and forgive eventually. At least in some way move on. But you called the lawyer earlier. What did they say?", the emcee asked knowing that Chester was just being himself. Doing all with full, not letting anyone hurt him, the person he loved.

 

"That everything is how it should be. The prenup is pretty clear and I am fucking glad I did it. She will get the holiday house and I'll have to pay some alimony but I... even when I hate her behavior I have really nothing against it. Cause she literally has.. well almost nothing. The house, which she probably has to sell cause she can't afford to keep it, the car and her clothes and jewelry. That's it. Have you... called yet?", Chester told letting Mike get up and pull him with him.

 

Together they dressed in silence before Mike spoke. "No. I'm scared. All... this. How are you so calm with it? I can't remember what my prenup actually says but I can't just... I have already destroyed Anna's life by taking away my love. Now I am supposed to take away all the rest too. Don't get me wrong, I know I have to do it. But I wish I could talk with her more before I do it. You know, properly talk and apologize."

 

"But she already agreed to sign the papers?", Chester furrowed his brows and followed the other downstairs.

 

"Yeah, but I still feel that was hasty. Almost kinda forced. I want to end it in good terms. So many years...", the emcee sighed and sat on the couch.

 

"Well I don't blame you for that. Sure it's complicated. Have you... Well before you were worried about the studio. How about if Anna stays there, owning that house? You could then use the studio if you want. Assuming it would be okay for her. She might not like the idea. Then she should have to see you and so on... Except if you make some other sort of agreement on it", Chester said walking to the kitchen. His brains screamed for coffee. After sex coffee was the best kind of coffee in his opinion.

 

"I... I actually like that idea. Then I don't have to rip it apart or sell it like that. Even the thought of it makes my heart ache. She probably won't like it but I'll ask. Need to call to the lawyer though first", the emcee wondered.

 

"We'll figure that out too then. The whole process is really long anyway so... The lawyer warned me that it still might not go smoothly. Even when it all seems clear now", Chester brought a coffee cup for him too.

 

Mike nodded and sighed taking the cup. "Why can't it all just... It never goes easily, does it?"

 

"Mike, it wouldn't be life if there wouldn't be any struggles", the singer kissed his cheek and pulled him under his arm. "Besides. I think we can learn from them. The mistakes I mean."

 

"Yeah... Like if you fall in love with someone tell it to him. Cause you never know what it would cause if you don't", Mike huffed bittersweetly.

 

"Oh babe... Don't regret that. We can't turn back time. And even still, I think good things came out from the waiting. What if we would have confessed our love back then? What if either of us wouldn't have been ready? What if we would have been but the guys wouldn't? I can make up million of what if's", the singer told arching his eyebrow.

 

"Right... Can we enjoy the rest of the day without thinking about them and the divorces? I'll call the lawyer tomorrow, before we head to the studio again", the half Asian asked smiling.

 

"Of course", Chester laughed and squeezed him tighter.

 

\--------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and reviews are greatly appreciated <3


	23. I'll always be with you

 

  
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"Rob isn't going to survive the drum part", Brad frowned flicking a pen.

 

The drummer shot him a glare his lip curling to a 'I'll show you'- grin. "Oh don't you worry about me Delson, I will!"

 

"Maybe... Or not. Cause we want it faster than that", the other challenged him, crossing his arms on his chest.

 

It was just another day in the studio. And it looked like nothing had ever happened. Only problem was that Mike and Chester had hard time keeping their hands off of each other. They both knew testing Brad's boundaries that soon wasn't a good idea, but they both also knew they couldn't continue working in the future, if they weren't allowed to even hug or hold hands in the studio. Or like now, Mike wanted to crawl to Chester's lap and kiss him until they both were breathless. Wasn't going to happen.

 

But working was otherwise fine. They had progressed and Brad's idea on the 'Guilty All The Same'- song turned out to be brilliant. It had still some major part missing, in Mike's opinion, but it was really good already.

 

As Rob played again Mike turned to look at the guitarist. "I told you he could do it."

 

"I know. But he just sometimes needs a little push to be that good", Brad winked his eye smirking.

 

"You're an asshole", the singer laughed opening a water bottle.

 

Mike spun on a chair to face him, "Yeah, just like I could have done too."

 

"Could have? You already did. Even though it didn't really lead to anywhere, and your approach was different. Oh and reasons too", Chester raised his eyebrow amused.

 

"Yeah yeah yeah, so you say", the emcee shook his head and nodded at the drummer who was finished with the part.

 

"Yes I know you could do it!" Brad laughed throwing his hands in front of him when he saw Rob's face as he came back to the room.

 

"I know you're not that stupid to think I couldn't do it. Only a little bit", Rob stuck his tongue out causing the guitarist object.

 

"Let's continue with the song guys... And Brad please can you turn the vibrate off of your phone, it's driving me crazy", Joe pointed at Brad's phone that was next to him on a table.

 

The guitarist rolled his eyes and went to pick up his phone. He frowned when he started to read why it was vibrating. And then his face went first pale and then red. Without saying a thing he threw the phone at Mike and left the room causing them all gasp in surprise.

 

"What the fuck", Mike whispered and then looked at the phone he had managed to pick up.

 

 _Exclusive interview with Talinda Bennington- "Chester has an affair with his bandmate"_ , said a headline.

 

There, now it all was on the table. Suddenly there was no air in the room.

 

"Mike! What the hell! Calm down!", Chester was pounding on his chest when he turned his gaze to him.

 

Somehow he had ended on the floor, gasping for air and still squeezing the phone. Chester's worried eyes were fixed on him, looking also terribly confused.

 

"I...", the emcee started feeling the lump on his throat getting bigger. They were now all of them staring at him, except Brad. Except the guitarist that was probably so mad that he wasn't talking to him. Escaping sounded like a perfect idea. The problem was that it wasn't a fix. And now, if he wouldn't give the phone to Chester it would only prolong what was about to come. So he handed it to the singer.

 

Chester grabbed the phone and stared at the screen. He read the words over and over again, but somehow he just couldn't fathom them. Rob was just about to ask what was happening when he tossed the phone on the mixing table and yelled. "Fucking shit! Fuck!"

 

Mike could feel it coming. The singer was about to break down and he would need all his strength to prevent it not happening. So when Chester took a step away from him he grabbed his belt and yanked hard enough for the other man to loose his balance. Chester grunted and fell on his lap, to an awkward and uncomfortable position. Chester pushed his fists to Mike's chest trying to get away, eyes filled with anger. As he screamed Mike gripped to the wrists.

 

"Stop it Chester. You are only making it worse. Please", he tried to be as calm as possible, even when his own heart was pounding out from his chest.

 

"Can somebody tell us what the hell is going on?" Joe sighed staring at the two on the floor.

 

"Read the phone Joe. Don't have time to explain", Mike said abruptly not turning his gaze away from the singer who was fuming and still fighting to get away.

 

"Hey, baby. Look at me. This is just another setback. It isn't like we didn't knew this was coming. It is exactly what she wants. You mad. And us separated", the half Asian shook the hands trying to make Chester see what was happening.

 

"Just let me go! I will make her pay for that", the singer growled.

 

"This is bad", the deejay passed the phone forward to Dave.

 

"Well thank you for pointing the obvious Joe!" Mike yelled at him. "Rob please go see is Brad okay? I'm sure he won't talk to me and I can't leave Chester alone."

 

The drummer nodded glancing at them and left then the room.

 

"Yes you can Mike", the singer mumbled.

 

"No I can't. And I won't. If I do you will find her and yell at her or force. Then the media will see it and it will just cause bigger mess", the emcee explained.

 

Chester shook his head yanking his hands again. "And how the fuck do you even see a bigger mess than what we already have!"

 

"Chester!", Mike yelled now getting mad at the other.

 

"Mike, that's your phone now", Dave sighed giving Mike's phone from the table to him.

 

 _Anna. Great_ , Mike thought releasing only the other hand so he could answer the phone.

 

"Hey. I saw the headlines. Uhm... They are calling to me. I won't... I don't want to talk about it. Or confirm it. I won't. Not that I would owe you anything but I don't think that is a way to deal with this either. But can you... honestly, I have to lock in to be in peace", the woman sounded tired and frustrated.

 

"Yeah. I will talk with the media soon. Thank you. I really appreciate that", Mike sighed feeling some weight being lifted off of his shoulders.

 

"Don't thank me. Please just handle it so I can be", the woman sighed but didn't sound mad.

 

"They are bugging Anna now. The media. Calling and probably waiting outside. I have to do something", the emcee sighed as he had finished the call.

 

Chester had already calmed down and was now biting his lip and drooping his head defeated.

 

"Babe. We will...", Mike started but same time Rob walked back in. But Mike was surprised to see the guitarist follow him.

 

"He is fine", Rob said a tiny smile tugging his lip.

 

"We are a family and we will deal with this together. I have a plan. It might not work but we will try", Brad said matter-of-factly and sat down.

 

Mike stared at him gaping. He couldn't believe his ears. _Brad was defending me? Us? And not bailing out?_ , he thought.

 

"Don't look at me like that Shinoda. I might not want to see you too cuddling but that doesn't mean we are not friends. Or that I wouldn't be mad at Talinda for being a nut job. I told you already I'm through it", Brad read his expression.

 

"Oh... kay. What was you running out then?", the emcee breathed.

 

"Could you let me get up? I can't feel my leg", the singer mumbled causing Mike to gasp and release his grip from the other hand too. He followed the other to the couch scrutinizing him.

 

"Just.... Needed to gather myself up", Brad nodded and sat down.

 

"About the plan?" Dave glanced briefly the guitarist and kept then scrolling through his phone.

 

"Yes. Easy peasy. Deny all. She doesn't have any proof, right? So unless Anna talks too... Or even then, the media won't probably believe her. Why would they? If Chester explains that she is just a bitter woman after the break up, what more would they have?" Brad explained his idea.

 

"Sounds good but...", Mike mumbled rubbing his temples.

 

The guitarist shrugged. "I know. It might not be a solution, but we should try it. If you just admit the affair, it could do more damage. And after this it is even more important that you two keep your hands off of each other when you're in public."

 

Mike glanced at the singer who had grabbed his hand to his own, entwining their fingers. "And that means you need to forget the revenge. I have no idea what exactly goes in your head, or is there more than just anger and disappointment but you have to stop it right now. That definitely won't resolve anything."

 

Chester huffed in frustration and continued to stare in front of him.

 

"I have to agree with Mike. That would definitely cause the media to freak out. You should pretend that there's nothing for you to be mad about. Cause we try to pretend it isn't true, right? They won't buy it if you go and yell at her. Just that you don't hold a grudge for her and that she is sad cause of the breakup", Brad pointed out picking up his phone again.

 

"As I already told you", Mike whispered directing his words to the singer again.

 

"I'm so fucking mad at her", the singer groaned squeezing Mike's hand hard.

 

"I know. Baby, I know. But revenge or what ever you plan in your pretty head won't help. Let's try Brad's technique and then plan more if it doesn't work", the half Asian said.

 

"And now you're going to hate me cause she caused this mess", Chester muttered frowning.

 

"Oh my god Chester! That's just plain stupid. How would I hate you cause of what she did? I could never hate you. Or love less", Mike groaned and pulled the other to a hug despite Brad or the others.

 

"Uhm... Has any of you read social media? Twitter has gone crazy. People are talking about something called bennoda? For example this one says 'Omg, I can't believe it! Bennoda is real!' and then another 'Finally! Waited for so long. Bennoda forever!' I'm confused now. I thought this is bad thing", Joe frowned staring at his phone's screen.

 

"Yeah. That's not a new thing really. I actually even had forgot it existed. The fans... Well I don't think all, but some like us together. When I first saw the term I Googled it and... there are pictures and videos and even stories. About us two, together. The word, it's our surnames mixed together. That was after I had realized my feelings so you probably get.... the emotions I had then. I was beyond confused and weirded out. And then I started to think had I all along given signs that I love you. Which they had seen and... Then that again made me more unsure about the whole thing. That if they saw it, then you would find out soon. God I really don't want to reminisce more. It was bad. Remember when I didn't talk to you like for a week or so? Yeah, that was the reason", the emcee sighed annoyed by the memories.

 

"Huh? Are you telling there is some secret society thingy amongst our fans? Well I'm glad it's you two then", Brad shook his head in disbelief.

 

Mike chuckled watching Joe type something on the computer now. "Yeah well, I think we weren't the only ones but honestly I didn't dare to Google more. Some of the pictures were pretty hot though. Some were real, like GIF's and short videos from shows. And sure pictures too, of us hugging and that."

 

"Wow. But... Oh my god. What if Tal or Anna have seen them? What if...", Chester's eyes widened and Mike could almost see several thoughts whirling in his mind.

 

Joe bursted suddenly into laughter doubling over and pointing at the screen. They stared at him amused and confused.

 

"Okay spill it out, what's funny", Dave rolled his eyes.

 

"I can't... breath... oh my god. Brad you're not gonna like this. Oh wait, maybe you are, that would suit perfectly", the deejay answered and then had another burst of laughter.

 

Brad sighed and went to see what the man was talking about. He frowned and started to read a story. Soon his face went red and he backed away a horrified expression painted on it.

 

"That's.... I certainly wouldn't have wanted to see that", the guitarist looked like he was about to be sick.

 

"Okay now I'm interested too", Rob laughed and joined the deejay in front of the computer.

 

Soon he shook his head looking sick too. "Yeah that's not what I wanted to see either. And Joe don't you dare to torture me in the middle of night by sending that stuff to my phone!"

 

Mike was about to ask what was happening when Joe finally managed to speak and get serious. "They have also done the same with you and Brad. And Brad and Rob. There are stories. Like, a lot of them. But I think I can't go further. Cause... That probably means I'm also there somewhere."

 

"Oh. Eeew! Sorry Brad but... eeew!" Mike's eyes widened with the thought.

 

"Is this the point where I get jealous and blame you for having sex with Brad?" Chester laughed.

 

"Chester! Seriously stop it! I can't get that image out of my head", Brad covered his ears his face still red.

 

"I think it's safe to say that the fans won't abandon us even if the media gets proof at some point. Talinda doesn't have proof though, does she?" Rob asked.

 

Mike stopped to think and shook then his head. "No. Not more than what there is already floating around. You know, the hugging and such. Unless there are hidden cameras in the house but I would think she would have already released the photos by now."

 

The singer nodded agreeing. "She hasn't got anything. And won't got."

 

The half Asian kissed his cheek happy that Chester had finally managed to come to his senses and also calm down. They would have to see the bigger picture, and try to see the future, not just go by the first instincts and emotions they felt now.

 

"So if Joe is finished with his fantasies I will call the management. They won't be thrilled, and Talinda won't be either when she hears what she has to go through after this. Don't believe how stupid that woman is, but guess that what ", Brad said his expression gloomy but also a devious smile tugged his lip.

 

Oh. So it's going down now, Mike thought. Brad looked mad. And the type of calm, centered mad that made things happen.

 

"Can we... go? I'm so fucking exhausted", Chester mumbled.

 

"Yeah. I'll call Mike later okay? And don't talk with the media before we have this settled. Not that it would be smart anyway, but... well you know.", Brad nodded. It was no use for them all sitting there while he made the calls.

 

The vocalists agreed in unison and left the studio. Joe and Dave followed them soon too, leaving Brad to handle the calls with Rob.

 

"It feels like... All the energy had been drained out of me. I could literally just fall asleep now", Chester said his voice strained and quiet when they got to the car.

 

"And I am so sorry that you have to go through this too now", he continued.

 

"Don't apologize to what some other person does. You can't control her. And still, we are a couple and together in this. Even without thinking that we are in same band. Even without all that... I'm here and I am not going anywhere", Mike smiled and rubbed Chester's thigh reassuring him.

 

"God... I love you so much", Chester sighed and managed to draw a smile to his lips.

 

Cause despite the mess, there was still lots of love to share.

 

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Reviews and kudos are also greatly appreciated.


	24. I'm seeing the truth in your words

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"Hey, babe, what are you doing?" Mike frowned staring at the singer who was sitting on the cold floor in the farthest corner on the room, wearing only his boxer shorts.

 

Mike had rolled over in his sleep and found the other side of the bed empty, cold. Few days had gone and they had too stay in cause of all the press craziness. Brad was trying to handle the situation together with the management cause he had an idea, but it seemed to take longer than he expected. Longer than they all expected. But rather take it seriously and handle all properly.

 

"Thinking. My time to think", Chester pushed his glasses with a knuckle and turned back to look out from the window.

 

Mike sighed and stepped up from the bed to join the other. Sitting next to him he opened his mouth again. "Can I repeat what you have said to me?"

 

"I think I don't want to hear it", Chester snuggled under his arm, letting Mike wrap his arm around his shoulders.

 

"We can't effect to what other people think. So stop worrying about what happens next. She will face the consequences", the half Asian tried to appease him. He knew way too well what Chester felt like now, but he also knew dwelling in it wouldn't help.

 

"Yeah. But what if... you know the people talking about us. What if that's just the surface and people really do start to hate is. We have kinda deceived all", the other glanced Mike.

 

"Chester... We are not living in the dark-ages anymore. If some fans will abandon us cause of we are together then let them. Like I said we can't make them do, or think, this or that. And maybe... maybe we could even gain more fans if we are open about it. You never know", Mike shook his head smiling.

 

"I get that. I'm still scared. You know, get back on the stage and meet the people. And not just cause we are together. Well... mostly not cause we are together but cause of Anna and Tal. We are role models too you know. Even when I didn't quite sign up for that but still", Chester sighed.

 

He felt stupid. All this hesitation was messing up his head. It wasn't usual to him.

 

"But there's love. What do they have against love?" the smile didn't fade from Mike's lips and the singer wondered what had he done to deserve such amazing boyfriend.

 

"Yeah... I'm just so disappointed to her. How dare she do this? And targeting you and the guys. That's just the perfect way to hurt me, to make you hurt. So... I'm disappointed and mad. And sad. Bitter that I spent so many years with her that I...", Chester said but was cut short by the emcee who squeezed him suddenly hard.

 

"No. Don't say it. You didn't know. She isn't like that. That's not really who she is, who you married. She is like that only cause she is sad. Heartbroken. Try to put yourself into her position. Like what if she would have cheated you when you weren't yet in love with me. I wouldn't have been surprised to see you go mental in a similar way", the emcee shook his head vigorously.

 

"Guess that does sound bad, huh...", the singer shot a glance at the other. "You're right. Again. Just need to get used to this... bullshit. Maybe... she isn't like that forever."

 

"Exactly. It has been so short time. She can't just switch off the feelings she has towards you. And Anna, she could change to that too, right? Who knows what goes in the girls' heads. But for now, we are here and still together. Like... Remember when we were... It think we were in Spain. It was the EMA's and the crowd was amazing. And huge", the half Asian stared at him.

 

"Oh, I think I remember that. It was super cold and the show was outside. You had the Bieber cut still then. That was bad...", Chester snickered.

 

"Bieber cut?! Seriously? You hated it and you didn't say it?" Mike stared at him now gaping.

 

The singer burst into laughter. "Sorry! No I didn't hate it, but didn't like it either. Though you look cute with any hair. But Anna loved it so I didn't dare to say anything. Anyway, yeah I do remember the day. Joe had a food poisoning after show and was lucky that we didn't have to play the next day. He managed to get himself together for the next show. We joked that it's good that it's him cause he would be literally the only one that could maybe play being sick."

 

"Yeah that too... And you had had a huge fight with Talinda after the show, and couldn't sleep. You knocked on my door and when I opened I felt like my heart was breaking. You were crying and miserable. Somewhere deep inside I wished you would break up with her. But then I realized it wouldn't matter cause even if you would end it with her it wouldn't suddenly mean that you would have feelings for me. Or even give me one night to prove it would be worth to try... So instead I hugged you and comforted you. Let you pour your heart out and lean on me until you fell asleep. Then I watched the sunrise alone, being grateful for such good relationship, friendship. That even when you didn't watch the sunrise with me, loving me, you would still always be there for me as I were for you", Mike rubbed his shoulder and pointed at the window.

 

Sun had just started to rise, painting the sky with luminous red and orange rays, almost blinding.

 

"Oh babe... I remember that. I slept barely two hours cause we had an early flight to catch. But you... the whole day you kept asking me was I alright. Offering a shoulder to cry on. I didn't even... I love you so much. Mike I would literally do anything for you", the singer breathed his eyes glistening with joy.

 

"Okay. So then, make it up to me. Watch the sunrise with me", Mike rubbed his bottom lip with his thumb before placing a gentle kiss on the lips.

 

Smiling Chester snuggled even closer letting Mike pull a violet colored fleece blanket from a nearby chair and wrap it around them. And so they did. Watched the sunrise and this time Chester was there, not sleeping.

 

Later that day, after a long brunch laying on the couch and watching television, Mike stopped to think and then it hit him.

 

"I just realized we are an actual couple", he gasped, almost amused.

 

Chester bursted into laughter. "And now you realize that?"

 

"Well... You see before I felt like a third wheel. The second woman. Even when I knew you loved me. Now, though the divorces aren't yet final I feel like we are together. Actually together", the emcee explained.

 

"Okay. Makes sense", Chester nodded then.

 

"But what after this all?" Mike frowned causing the other frown too.

 

"What do you mean? We continue like we would otherwise? Except that we are together."

 

"Yeah... I like that... But.. I have never been in this kind of situation. So much to think and... I don't know. It makes my head spin", the emcee chuckled.

 

"Well... We can get married. Like I suggested ages ago", Chester said shifting so he could face the other.

 

"Wait what? Didn't hear you suggest that?" Mike laughed but got his face straight when he realized that Chester was serious. "How did I miss that?"

 

"Oh don't worry about it... I just mentioned it briefly. I think it was after Tal pulled the first stunt."

 

"But... You were serious?"

 

"Of course I was. But didn't mean we have to. Or that we should hurry. Legally together or not, I am with you anyway", Chester reached to kiss him.

 

"Also since we are reminiscing things... The sunrise reminded about this other time. Remember when we were doing summer festivals in the Northern Europe? Can't even remember exactly when, but it was Minutes to Midnight tour. After the show you were dead tired and cursed cause the sun started to rise basically when you were finally beginning to drift to sleep. You cursed the day mostly, cause it was Friday the 13th. And then we had to cancel few shows cause Brad had the ear infection. And you said: 'I told you so. It was the freaking day. I fucking knew it'. And I laughed so hard cause you had never been that superstitious", he continued shaking his head to the memory.

 

"Poor Brad. He was crying like a baby", Mike laughed remembering exactly the day.

 

"Oh but do you remember that one fight we had? It was end of the tour cycle and we were exhausted. There was something else too that was ripping our nerves, but I can't remember what. You basically screamed at me and then went all Hulk mode ripping your shirt in two. 'God dammit fucking Shinoda'. You used those exact words. And I was thinking should I run now before you turn green but then watching you fuming and holding the pieces of shirt I couldn't help it, but I bursted into laughter and dropped on my knees on the floor. I was choking cause I was laughing so hard and then you couldn't take it longer but bursted also into laughter. We laid on the floor laughing and trying to catch our breaths. And then you said you will forgive me and I said you're an asshole and there wasn't anything to forgive. And we laughed some more. Finally Brad came to ask are we alright and he couldn't tell were we crying, laughing or just going crazy", the half Asian shook his head with the famous grin spreading on his face.

 

"But you were an asshole! And you should have apologized to me but then I just didn't want the fight to continue so I dropped it. That was my favorite shirt by the way", Chester raised his eyebrow.

 

"Hell it wasn't", Mike laughed poking him.

 

"Sure it was. Besides I had to change my whole outfit cause of that since the other shirt I had planned wearing didn't match the jeans. Or the shoes", Chester said matter-of-factly poking him back and making him squirm.

 

"Mr. Fashion. The shirt would have suited the jeans just perfectly. Better than my Bieber hair did my face."

 

"Awww babe don't be like that. You can do what ever hairstyle you want. I don't mind. Besides the blond. That wasn't my favorite", the singer grabbed him to a squeeze.

 

"You're still an ass you know that?" Mike said softly and kissed his cheek. "But. If you don't mind I'll go and get some groceries. And call Brad. If there is some conclusion or what we should be doing."

 

"That's fine. I'll just...", Chester started but Mike interrupted him with a hand gesture.

 

"You stay here and stare at the screen", Mike pointed at the television dead serious, "No calling to Talinda and yelling at her. And if you must go to social media, as I know you will even if I tell you not to, you don't write anything there. You don't Chester, you hear me?"

 

"Yes mom...", the singer stuck his tongue out and chuckled. "You go and be the smart one again."

 

Mike rolled his eyes and shook his head smiling and started to get himself ready. When he got to the car he called the guitarist instantly.

 

"Hey, any news?"

 

"Nothing that would proceed fast. She will be sued."

 

"Oh. Well... That's good.. I guess. How about... the circus?"

 

"I got even better idea than back in the studio. We release a statement saying that she just interpreted it wrong. You and Chester got to the divorce state at the same time. And then you stay with Chester's cause it isn't comfortable back home with Anna. So basically she just calculated two plus two but didn't take into consideration the possible variable cause she was so mad. We don't talk about the seen kiss in the statement. That way we aren't actually lying but just saying she is... well like I said bitter woman. But... Anna's help there would be good. Imagine if she would state that Talinda just went crazy", Brad explained his idea.

 

"No she won't. They are still friends."

 

"Okay, well anything really. Could you ask? It would certainly help us."

 

"Shit... Well I can but it's really awkward."

 

"I know Mike, but only the band stating Talinda is crazy isn't..."

 

"Okay, I get what you mean. We need her on our side", Mike sighed.

 

The guitarist nodded on the other end. "Great. Even if she doesn't agree with the idea she needs heads up too."

 

They ended the conversation quickly. Mike sighed heavily, wondering how long would this mess last. He just wanted to go back to the days where all he needed to think was the record and next tour. And Chester.

 

After a while he parked in front of a mall and got out. He had a plan too, just one that had nothing to do with the statement. Groaning he choose Anna's number and called her and started to walk inside.

 

"Hey, sorry to call you. Did the media leave you alone?"

 

"Yes they did. I would have called you if they wouldn't have... What's up?, the woman sounded tiny bit annoyed.

 

"Talinda will be sued. And we will be releasing a statement that she interpreted it wrong. Since the divorces are going same time and so."

 

"Okay. And... You need me for?"

 

"Anna..."

 

"Just spill it out. I know you too well. I still love you, I can't be mad even if I really wanted to", she said exhaling heavily.

 

"Well, we would like you to confirm it. That Talinda went nuts."

 

"Mike I can't do that. She is my friend. Even if that is true and she shouldn't have done that... I can't."

 

"Okay. I get it. That's what I said to Brad. Worth to try anyway. Can I... I just wonder how are you. I didn't mean any of this to happen. If I could I would go back and do it all differently. I don't regret living together with you. You know, spending all that time together. And I hope you will find someone worth it. Someone that treats you like you deserve", the emcee said thinking about the talk with Chester earlier. Even if he had been miserable then in many ways, there was still so much good times to remember.

 

Anna sighed again. "I know. You're not a bad person. No matter what Tal says I will still respect you. But I'm fine. Just one day at a time."

 

"I was thinking about the house too... I don't like the idea of someone getting to my studio and maybe... well you know. I built it. I can tear it down but I wouldn't want to. What if... What if you stay living there? As long as you want. And let me use the studio if I want. Of course it would be your house so I don't just come and go as I please", Mike dared to ask finally.

 

The idea was good but he had no idea how it would work. An ex dropping by when he would need, and the ex-wife just being totally okay with it, sounded like some sort of weird Hollywood movie.

 

"Well to be honest I hated the idea of moving away. I have always loved to live here. For now I mean, I will at some point."

 

"Okay. So think about it? No need to make up your mind now. But I am at the grocery store now and would rather not have this conversation further here", the emcee let out a soft chuckle.

 

"God Mike, groceries... You really are in love. Okay, I will. And I'll talk with Tal too, but like I said I won't turn my back on her now."

 

As they ended the call Mike rushed to but everything he had in mind. After returning to the car to leave the bags there he headed back inside. He had seen a particular shirt some weeks ago and thought then that it looked exactly like Chester, like he would love it. After the shirt talk earlier it was more than appropriate for him to buy that it. And there it was. It wasn't the same they had talked about, not at all, but he loved it anyway. Black t-shirt with white skulls printed on, all different sizes, rolling from the left side of the chest towards the waist and stopping at the hem. Otherwise the shirt was just plain black. It wasn't anything fancy but Mike liked it and knew Chester would love it. He bought it and then headed back to the car to get as quickly as possible back to the house.

 

"Oh, you bought the whole store empty", Chester laughed and raised his brows at the sight of the bags that Mike was carrying in.

 

"And something else", Mike nodded smiling starting to empty the bags.

 

"Huh?" the singer frowned coming to look at the stuff.

 

"Chester be patient. I'll need to get the groceries first to their places. But it's for you", Mike said lifting some zucchinis to the counter.

 

"For me? Let me see it", the other clapped his hands excited, and tried to dig the bags.

 

"Hey! Seriously babe! You get nothing if you don't behave", the half Asian snickered and slapped the hands away gently.

 

"You're mean", the singer pursed his lips moping.

 

Mike sighed and laughed then. "Go sit down. I'll be there in a few."

 

Chester chuckled and gave a small kiss on his cheek before heading to the living room. Mike arranged rest of the stuff to the fridge and to the cupboards and grabbed then the small bag where the t-shirt was before joining the other to the living room.

 

"Hope you like it", he gave it then for Chester who seemed not to contain himself.

 

Chester glanced at him and then ripped the bag apart. Not even bothering to actually open it, which would have been easy since it was just a small paper bag. He lifted it and looked it before he realized what it was. 

 

"Mike.... It's pretty", the singer breathed running his finger over the skulls. "So you were inspired by the talk earlier?"

 

"Yeah. And then I remembered that I had seen that shirt some weeks ago and I liked it. And I think it would look good on you. So...", the half Asian chuckled feeling uncomfortable cause of the attention.

 

"I think... This is the first thing you have bought me... like really thinking about me. I totally love it. Thank you Mike", Chester said a beautiful smile spreading on his face.

 

"You're welcome. So to the other issue. Talinda will be sued, Brad had an idea and he'll handle it. Anna will think about the possibility that I she would live in the house and I would use the studio if I need. That's all for today", Mike told now crawling under Chester's arm.

 

"Kay. Another day tomorrow", the other whispered.

 

"Another sunrise, with you", the half Asian answered smiling happily.

 

Cause that he was. Then, and there. Utterly happy.

 

\-------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the ending could have been the ending for the whole story. Not yet. Some chapters to go :) Thank you for reading. Reviews and kudos are also greatly appreciated!


	25. Nothing's that far when you're near

\------  
  
  
  
"Wow, hey what...", Mike snickered delightfully when the singer pushed him against the couch, kissing his lips.  
  
  
  
Chester had went to do organize things and sign some papers that were needed for the divorce to proceed as fast as possible. He didn't want Mike with him, thinking it would be just awkward to Mike either wait in car or then listen through all the talk that was really meant only for Talinda, him and their lawyers.  
  
  
  
"Hey. Missed you", Chester breathed massaging his shoulders.  
  
  
  
Mike rolled his eyes laughing. "You were gone maybe like three hours."  
  
  
  
"I know, I know... So what have you done in the meantime?" Chester asked rolling next to him and lifting his jean clad legs to Mike's lap.  
  
  
  
"Nothing much. I went for a walk and then I called Brad."  
  
  
  
"How's he? How's... the issue?" Chester raised his eyebrow. He was rather ecstatic how well Brad was dealing with it, really proving how good friend he was.  
  
  
  
"He is fine. I can hear in his voice that he still struggles with the idea of us being together, but he is adamant to deal with the issue. The statement is out as he said we don't even need to see it since it is perfect", the emcee nodded.  
  
  
  
"Well... I would have wanted to see it."  
  
  
  
"We trust Brad, right? If he did it then it's good", Mike pointed out.  
  
  
  
Chester scrunched his nose and nodded then. "Yeah, you're right. Besides he had an idea anyway."  
  
  
  
"Did you get to see the response already?" the half Asian asked receiving a shook. "Well, it seems that people really are on our side. There were few comments saying that even if it would be true she has no say into it. Which... made me cringe cause we cheated anyway."  
  
  
  
"Oh..."  
  
  
  
"Yeah. Some were calling Talinda with pretty bad names and then I decided that I probably shouldn't read further. Cause there would have been the other side too at some point", Mike continued shaking his head.  
  
  
  
Silence fell over them, both thinking about different things. Mike was afraid of what the public statement would do and Chester was mostly worried would Talinda try something else if this wouldn't work out for her.  
  
  
  
"You know what annoys me", Chester said causing Mike to shake the thoughts away and glance at him. "I would love to travel with you."  
  
  
  
"We get to travel a lot, when the album is finished", Mike laughed.  
  
  
  
"Don't be an ass. I meant you and me together. As a couple. But we can't. Cause of the publicity and cause we are supposed to be doing the album. We are stuck", the singer sighed frowning.  
  
  
  
"Hey, we knew it when Hybrid Theory sold well. We knew this was what it would be like. And you know you wouldn't want it any other way", Mike smiled to him stroking his legs.  
  
  
  
"Yeah yeah yeah... I know", Chester groaned knowing Mike was right. Always the smart one.  
  
  
  
"You're not regretting that we didn't come out as couple? I think it is better that we deny what Talinda says", the emcee said.  
  
  
  
"No I'm not regretting it. But our fans are not stupid. They will find it out eventually. Are we... what do we say then?" Chester sighed feeling the headache pounding in the back of his head. Still this whole situation was annoying him.  
  
  
  
"Brad had an idea to that too. We explain it then. I think they would understand why we didn't tell it all now. And even so, out private lives are private. They can speculate. As you saw, they have done it already way before even this happened", the other smiled tilting his head.  
  
  
  
"Okay, I don't see why not th...", Chester's words were interrupted by his phone ringing in his pocket. He fished it out and stared at the screen before letting out a heavy sigh.  
  
  
  
"Tal. Shit", he groaned then and answered.  
  
  
  
Mike shifted on the couch, feeling already uncomfortable. Nothing good ever happened when Talinda called.  
  
  
  
"How on earth do you think that they won't find out the truth?" she said.  
  
  
  
"Yeah they probably will. Did you see the comments? About you? I heard they took a side already", Chester's face got gloomy.  
  
  
  
The emcee sighed and dropped his head. _This ain't gonna end well_ , he thought. _Probably to Chester yelling at her._  
  
  
  
"Just think about it for a second. You can't just be with him. Have you thought about it? Like really thought. You weren't gay when we met. It's not like you can suddenly turn into one!" she was shouting to the phone and Mike could almost hear all the words.  
  
  
  
"Cut the bullshit T! It isn't about being gay or straight or whatever box you want to put people in. It's about love. Love doesn't know gender. I really didn't know you were a homophobe. Wouldn't have married you if I...", Chester was fuming but Mike groaned and grabbed the phone from him.   
  
  
  
He really was done. With the talk, with Talinda with the whole situation. But he hadn't tried to talk with the woman yet properly.  
  
  
  
"Hey, Talinda, it's Mike. Obviously. Listen to me for a second okay? This reprisal you are on... Do you see you're hurting Chester? You said you love him, right? And now you're hurting everyone he loves. And for what? It just makes him hate you more. It won't bring him back to you. Even if you would somehow succeed breaking us and the band apart he won't come back to you after that. So how's that love when you make the person hurt you're supposed to love? I totally get why you hate me, as I have said million times I don't blame you for it", he told gasping for a breath in the middle. He wanted to say it all as quickly as possible, so that Talinda wouldn't interrupt him.   
  
  
  
Chester stared at him mouth gaping wide open. _That's my boyfriend,_ he thought surprised and proud. It wasn't only what Mike said but how he talked. Such calm assertiveness that it shook him to the core.  
  
  
  
"But revenging the cheating and your divorce by hurting me and the band... That's not a way to do it. You're an adult woman and despite all the hate you have towards me I know you're not a bad person. I don't hate you. Chester says he does but I don't think he is capable in hating. I told him that too. So really, instead of pouring that hate on the band and me, I would suggest you cherish the good times you had with him. You know they don't disappear anywhere?", another deep inhale before he continued.  
  
  
  
"Wouldn't it be nice to go back to those days at some point, and rather than feel regret and bitterness cause of how you dealt with this situation... maybe feel love and gratefulness instead. So what I am saying... you won't get him back like this. Cause all you're doing now is to push him further away. And make everybody else hate you too. Even the fans. Please just... stop and really think what you are doing. Try to see through the hate, okay? I love Chester. I really do. And I would do anything to make him happy. Even if it would mean that... if he would realize that he made a mistake and then go back to you. Cause that's what you do when you're in love. Let the person you love live, and have the happiness he deserves" the half Asian said still thinking it wasn't done yet. That he wasn't done.  
  
  
  
"So. If you still love him, I wish you would leave us alone. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but that's what a person who loves another would do in this situation, after overcoming the anger. Cause it happens. It's natural reaction to all what you went through", he finished feeling breathless.  
  
  
  
Now he waited. He waited for Talinda to go off and yell at him but instead there was silence. Then some huffing and click when the line went dead.  
  
  
  
"Uhm... She hung up", he frowned handing the phone back for Chester.  
  
  
  
"Well I would have too after that speech. Did you just... Wow. You just basically told her off in the nicest manner I have ever witnessed! You won't stop surprising me. Seriously... What have I done to deserve you", Chester stared at him before chuckling and climbing to his lap.  
  
  
  
"Being yourself. That's the most important thing. That's why I love you", Mike said softly enjoying Chester's touch, the hands that stroked his cheeks.  
  
  
  
"So can I just tell how much I appreciate you?" the other smiled giving a small peck on his nose.  
  
  
  
Now Mike chuckled shaking his head and wrapping his arms around Chester's waist. "You have said it before."  
  
  
  
"Yeah but I can tell it again. I love you Mike. I appreciate everything you do for me, for us. For the band too. And for your, our, friends. Like the way you handled Brad. And you... you didn't give up. You could have. When all the... shit hit the fan you could have just said that it's not the way you want to live. Running away would have been so much easier. Cause it was hard, and it still will be. Instead you doubted and thought further, like I think all humans would do, and then pushed through. Cause you love me. And your friends. And the band", the singer said a happy smile still on his lips.  
  
  
  
"And really... I can't wait to get on tour with you. Not that I wouldn't like it here. But touring was always so weird when I knew Tal was waiting home and then... well you know. Us together but I still couldn't be with you like I wanted to", he continued.  
  
  
  
"I can wait that either. And when this all is over...", Mike exhaled heavily.  
  
  
  
"...we can relax and actually be then together. Like really together", Chester nodded emphasizing the word actually.  
  
  
  
Mike smiled agreeing. "Yeah, I hope we can really actually relax then. Not that we could cuddle in public but not be afraid that it will blow up at any second."  
  
  
  
"Well I'm glad that it's done now. The statement I mean", Chester let out a sigh.  
  
  
  
"We talked with Brad that tomorrow we could spend some time in studio again. The record.. eh... it isn't going anywhere if we just wait for... well something to happen. Cause it will, whether we are at the studio or not", the half Asian said wondering would they be able to finish before the deadline. Though they did have time, a lot still.  
  
  
  
"That's good. How about if we try something today? You have your laptop with you right?" Chester asked getting excited.  
  
  
  
"Sure I do", the emcee was already pushing Chester up to get the laptop.  
  
  
  
Chester got to his feet and backed away to give more space for the other.  
  
  
  
"So you grab the guitar and I'll fetch the laptop and then we'll get back here", Mike nodded.  
  
  
  
"Or then we should just meet in the bedroom", the singer wiggled his eyebrow grinning.  
  
  
  
Mike walked to the hallway where his bag was and opened it, Chester staring at him some feet away.  
  
  
  
"Chester... I thought you were actually talking about writing new songs. Or at least trying", Mike laughed grabbing the laptop with him.  
  
  
  
"I certainly was! We can do it in bed too. Like, me inside you. Isn't that how the best songs are made, right?" the other grabbed Mike's ass squeezing it hard.  
  
  
  
"Oh for fuck's... I'm pretty sure none of our songs were made like that!" Mike rolled his eyes letting the other nibble his lower lip.  
  
  
  
"Well we can't be sure what the others...", Chester started but Mike shut him down with a yelp.  
  
  
  
"Okay we are not going there. Now I can't take that thought out of my head", the half Asian pulled away heading upstairs.  
  
  
  
"What thought? Oh! Like in the stories! Were you thinking about Brad and Rob or Joe a...", Chester joked but Mike yelled again.  
  
  
  
"No! I wasn't! Stop it or you don't get anything", Mike ran upstairs laughing and almost stumbling to his feet.  
  
  
  
"Babe... Don't be like that... Think about how fun would we have if...", Chester said running behind him.  
  
  
  
"Stop! Oh my god stop it! I can't breathe!" the emcee groaned trying to cover his ears, reaching the bedroom finally.  
  
  
  
Chester pushed him with his body causing Mike to fall on the bed and collapsing on top him.  
  
  
  
"Sorry. I love to tease you", he chuckled running his hands over Mike's sides and to his face.  
  
  
  
"I know you do baby. That was bad. Do something so I can forget it", Mike blinked his eyes still slightly shocked by the thoughts. And amused cause of Chester's imagination.  
  
  
  
"Well that I certainly can do", the other wiggled his eyebrow again and leaned up to pull his shirt off causing Mike to bite his lip.  
  
  
  
And soon there was nothing else than them and the soft moans filling the room.  
  
  
  
\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and reviews are also greatly appreciated


	26. And when I close my eyes tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly, this story is at the end. One more chapter to go after this :(

\-------  
  
  
  
Few days had passed and they had made some progress in the studio. Brad could see the situation was weighing on them but still neither Chester nor Mike wanted to give up. All of them knew they had the record to do, but at this point of their career it wouldn't have even been that detrimental to take few week break. Well more, addition to what they had already taken before. But he didn't want to be the one to say that they needed the break. Especially when overall they were making songs, and they were good ones.  
  
  
  
And all the fighting was in the past too. He still cringed when he saw Mike hold Chester's hand or something equally intimate. And it was only cause it made him think other things. He had never before thought that Mike and Chester being so close and showing it was weird, but now when he knew about it, about their feelings and how long it had been actually going on, it was awkward. He could honestly say that he was happy, but even still looking at them show the love physically made him feel weird.  
  
  
  
"Brad. You're staring again", Rob said arching his eyebrow which made Mike turn his gaze.  
  
  
  
Mike, once again, had leaned on Chester as they together went through his notes. They had only shoulders and arms touching which would have never before drawn attention, cause it was so natural for them. Brad just couldn't help it, which was confusing for him too since he didn't mean anything bad. Just one thing piling over another and together it all made his brains work overtime.  
  
  
  
"Just... got lost in my thoughts", the guitarist mumbled turning his head.  
  
  
  
"Sorry Brad", Mike sighed realizing what had just happened.  
  
  
  
"No Mike, it's fine. Honestly. Part of my brains just work slower than other part. Guess I'm still reluctant how this will work in future. I would hate to see either of you get hurt", Brad shook his head.  
  
  
  
Chester glanced at Mike tilting his head, "Yeah well, Tal already made it happen so..."  
  
  
  
"Didn't quite mean that though", Brad rolled his eyes turning a page on his notepad.  
  
  
  
"Have you read Twitter now? They still... well most are on your, our, side. Some not, but that's more like background noise. There is huge fan group now over this bennoda thing, which is really loud. Like... well check the hashtag. It's crazy. I searched it to the time before Talinda's... revenge and before that the hashtag wasn't used that much", Joe waved his hand in the air as he slumped back in the chair.  
  
  
  
"That's good. Or not. I just hate that we hate to go day by day. I want to make music in the future too you know?" Chester groaned rubbing his temples.  
  
  
  
"Babe...", Mike sighed and pulled Chester's hand to his own.  
  
  
  
"I know I know", the singer waved his other hand in the air looking at the other. His eyes had the usual worry shadowing them.  
  
  
  
Mike was again trying to be the calm, collected one even when Chester being agitated and unsure was making him feel that too. Then his phone buzzed once for a sign of text message, distracting his thoughts.  
  
  
  
"Huh... It's Anna", Mike frowned mumbling to himself when he saw Anna's name on the screen.  
  
  
  
"Hey. Are you home around five? I would like to see you. Both."  
  
  
  
"Oh", Chester read the text his eyes widening from surprise. He certainly didn't expect Anna to contact Mike. Or wanting to come by.  
  
  
  
Mike glanced at him, asking for an answer with his eyes.  
  
  
  
"What?" Brad said when neither of them talked and looked only weirded out.  
  
  
  
"Anna wants to come by. And she used a word 'home', which...", Mike mumbled still looking at the singer.  
  
  
  
"Is your home. And of course it is fine. I'm just... what does she want?" Chester said shifting in the chair.  
  
  
  
Mike shrugged honestly having no idea what Anna would want. He glanced at the clock, while sending a text back that it was fine, "We don't have that much time then. So, let's try to work shall we."  
  
  
  
So they got back to the song they were working on now. Just one more idea added to the others. Mike rubbed Chester's shoulder, trying to reassure him. Anna still somewhat in the picture was probably weird but he wanted the singer to know that he wouldn't have nothing to worry about. He knew Chester. And he knew that Chester might feel uncomfortable but he wouldn't really be jealous. Not anymore. Not after all this time they had spent together strengthening their relationship and love that was already so powerful.  
  
  
  
"I love you", Mike whispered his lips touching the shell on Chester's ear.  
  
  
  
Just three words that were so small, and so big at the same time. And so quiet that the others didn't hear them, but the most important one did, which was exactly his point. A wide grin spread on Chester's lips as he nodded glancing shortly at the emcee, making sure Mike knew his answer to that.  
  
  
  
"So Mike, just call me if there's some trouble with Anna", Brad said when they started to leave the studio.  
  
  
  
Mike shook his head slowly, "I don't think she is a problem. Unless Talinda has fed her some bullshit."  
  
  
  
"Well you know... I'm here if you need me", Brad smiled feeling his cheeks burn. He was mostly just embarrassed that he hadn't been there earlier. Not the way he should have had in his opinion.  
  
  
  
The emcee smiled wrapping one arm around his shoulders and pulling to a quick hug, "I know."  
  
  
  
They exited the studio and the whole building heading to the car as Chester spoke, "I'm so excited that he has forgiven you."  
  
  
  
"Us Chester", Mike raised his eyebrow while getting inside the car.  
  
  
  
"Well yeah, but I still think if it would have been me with some other guy it wouldn't have been that bad. He is your best friend after all", the singer was now the one to shook his head, smiling softly.  
  
  
  
"Get that. But still, it's us. He was mad cause we hid the thing", the half Asian said causing Chester to wave his hand.  
  
  
  
Chester didn't agree. Or rather he agreed only certain way. For him Brad was still Mike's best friend and he could understand why it had been that hard for him. But he didn't want to argue either.  
  
  
  
When they arrived it was already five but Anna wasn't there yet. They got inside and Mike went to the living room while Chester made some coffee.  
  
  
  
"Are you... excited about the new record?" Mike asked when the singer came back with the coffee cups.  
  
  
  
"Definitely. Can't wait to get on stage with new songs. With you", Chester let a beautiful smile spread on his lips brightening up his whole face.  
  
  
  
Mike chuckled to the enthusiasm but stopped when they heard the knock on the door. He sighed and got up to get to the door. Anna stood there- with Talinda.  
  
  
  
"Fuck", Mike mumbled backing away from the door to let them in.  
  
  
  
Anna poked Talinda, gesturing that she would get inside first.  
  
  
  
"There's coffee if...", Chester said but got quiet when he saw his ex-wife. "This is a bad idea."  
  
  
  
"Chester just listen. She has something so say. A lot to say", Anna pushed Talinda yet again further looking calm but still angry.  
  
  
  
Mike was baffled. By the situation, but also by the fact that Anna looked serious and pissed. He had never seen her like that. She watched the two woman sit down in the couch and Chester looking like he was about to scream. He was furious. They didn't have any chance to prepare to this.  
  
  
  
"Go on", Anna raised he eyebrow talking to her friend.  
  
  
  
Mike joined Chester, sitting beside him and glancing him quickly. Again just reassuring that he was there, and they were in this together.  
  
  
  
"After... the talk with Mike on the phone I talked with her too. Told about it and... she yelled at me. Telling me that it's not how I am supposed to live. Just for the revenge. I think... or rather I didn't think. I didn't think how much it would effect. I just wanted to get back to what I had. I was just so focused onto the target, getting Chester back, that I didn't realize I was hurting him in the meantime", Talinda started.  
  
  
  
Mike gaped him, wondering what the hell has happened. Chester's features softened, but only a little. Anna squeezed Talinda's shoulder, encouraging her to continue. She glanced at her friend before drawing her lips to a tight line and sighing.  
  
  
  
"So. Guess I am saying I am sorry. I was stupid and I can already see it won't work out the way I wanted. Now I will swallow my pride and regret my decision", she said mumbling the last words.  
  
  
  
They all stared at each other, confusion invading Mike's and Chester's minds.  
  
  
  
"How do we know that this isn't just another stunt? You literally did the exact thing I told you not to. That could ruin our lives. Even though it now seems like it wasn't that bad, but that was your intention anyway", the singer raised his voice.  
  
  
  
Anna cleared her throat stopping him in the midway while Mike held Chester's hand onto his. As Chester glanced at him Mike shook his head a tiny smile on his lip, telling that he should calm down.  
  
  
  
"Yes. Or, rather Mike's life. Cause I still love you Ches. But this isn't a stunt. I am done with the games. I will release a statement saying I am sorry and that I was wrong. Like Anna said, crazy jealous. But...", the woman stopped burying his face to his hands.  
  
  
  
"You can do it T. That's a lot already. Just finish what you've started okay", Anna said keeping his voice low.  
  
  
  
"Okay. So... Shit Tal. You can't just think that we are going to withdraw all the legal actions. It doesn't work that way. That you do shit and apologize and then think that's all. That you can evade all consequences just by apologizing", Chester gasped in disbelief. He thought this was way too easy.  
  
  
  
"No no Chester, I don't assume that would happen. But she convinced me that this isn't the way to deal with it either", Talinda glanced at Anna who gave her a soft smile.  
  
  
  
"So legal actions or not, my lawyer will handle the divorce papers today and release the statement. And then I'll just deal with... what ever there is then to deal with. I hope I can pick up my stuff in peace when the dust has settled, but otherwise I won't bother you in future. Neither of you", she said looking then at Mike whose face was straight and emotionless, even when there was a whirlwind inside him.  
  
  
  
"This is too easy", Chester mumbled looking at Mike, pleading for advice.  
  
  
  
"Or let's just believe what she is saying and go from there", the other answered.  
  
  
  
"See? That's why I love him so much", Anna said to Talinda receiving a smile and eye roll back.  
  
  
  
"That's awkward", Chester frowned squeezing Mike's hand.  
  
  
  
Talinda laughed. "Well I can see why. So really, that was the only thing I wanted you to hear. Sorry. I really behaved like a crazy person and even though I still don't like the situation I can see that now. Thanks to Anna. Wouldn't have realized it myself this soon. But excuse me we will leave now when I still have some pride in left in me."  
  
  
  
Mike just sat there still confused when the women started to head to the door. His mind just couldn't comprehend the situation but the most part of him was happy. Chester got up to follow them, talking with Talinda and agreeing that she could come and pick up the rest of her stuff some day soon.  
  
  
  
"Let's talk soon okay?" Anna said for Miks, just before they got out of the house and closed the door.  
  
  
  
"Really. I can't believe she actually did that. Not even the statement thing but apologized", Mike stared at Chester his eyes wide open.  
  
  
  
"Exactly. If she really does that... Honestly, I don't think she will. There's still something she is trying to achieve. But if she does, we can only thank Anna. Did you know she would talk with her? Convince Tal that this would be right thing?" Chester got back to the couch sitting next to Mike and crossing his leg.  
  
  
  
"No. I had no idea. I talked about the statement then and like Brad said, asked would she confirm that Talinda went nuts, but she wouldn't, which I already had guessed", Mike shook his head.  
  
  
  
"So thank god for best friends huh....", the other nodded smiling.  
  
  
  
"Yeah. Brad and Anna. We wouldn't be here without them", Mike raised his eyebrow when he realized that.  
  
  
  
"You know I love you. I think I say it a lot but then again, I think I can't tell it enough", Chester yanked him closer kissing him.  
  
  
  
"I know babe. And I don't mind hearing it often. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world. Loving someone and getting love in return", Mike mumbled against his lips.  
  
  
  
"I can agree to that", the singer snickered smiling, his eyes sparkling with joy.  
  
  
  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and reviews are also greatly appreciated!


	27. Listen to your heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. Here we go for the one last time. Sadly, this will be the final chapter. Luckily I have plenty of WIPs where to pour my feelings to, lol. Thank you for joining me on this journey. Love you.

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And Chester had been wrong. Talinda actually did release a statement and handled the divorce papers as she promised. Then she disappeared after her lawyer forwarded a message that she needs some time alone. Of course Chester had been reluctant to actually believe she wasn't planning something else cause the change had been so sudden.

 

Now, months after the whole thing, they were almost ready with the record and Chester was more anxious than ever. It had been terribly busy time and he had buried himself to the work. Everything seemed to work fine, by itself. But he couldn't shed the uneasy feeling on his chest. Touring sounded like a bad idea. It was just going to blow up on their faces. Chester was sure of it.

 

"What if she is still planning something?" he asked as they once again were arriving back to his place from the studio.

 

"Chester...", Mike sighed glancing him.

 

The singer shrugged turning his head to look out from the window. "Well it's possible don't you think?"

 

"Well anything is really. But don't you think it would be little farfetched? Why now? Why at all? She might not be over it but why would she plan for a revenge again when the first backfired? She isn't stupid", Mike raised his eyebrow as he parked in front of the house.

 

"Yeah but... I don't know. Guess I just expect that something would go wrong. Will go wrong", Chester mumbled and stepped out from the car.

 

Mike rolled his eyes following the other inside the house. "Really, just drop it okay. You are just second guessing. Maybe have tiny bit faith in her that she learned from the mistake? Besides, what have I told you before?"

 

"That... We can't affect to what people will do if they decide... to be assholes", Chester said and chuckled.

 

The emcee sighed again smiling and closed the door behind him. "Yes, that's pretty much what I said."

 

"So we will just hope that everything goes well and if not then we will deal it when... shit hits the fan", Chester said like asking did he understand it all correctly. He just needed the reassurance. Someone to tell him it would all go well.

 

"Yes. Let's just try to focus on the album and upcoming tour okay?" Mike nodded and collapsed on the couch feeling too tired to really even think.

 

"Like I have tried", the singer smiled and sat beside him. "Glad I'm not alone in this mess."

 

"I don't think it is a mess anymore to be honest. The fans took it well, even if Talinda wouldn't have corrected it. Then no real shit from the press, just the general prying... Those were the ones we were most worried about I think", Mike tilted his head to look at Chester.

 

Chester nodded. "Yeah. Sure we don't know what's coming when we start the tour and promo, but... Yeah. Okay."

 

"Baby... I know you're scared. And it's okay to be scared. We don't know what is to come yet. But then again... isn't that the best thing in life? You don't know what happens tomorrow. Good or bad. So you don't know and you got someone to share it with. All the happiness, all the love. And then also all the rest. The confusion, fear, negativity. Which just make us better persons. God I love you so much... It's overwhelming. Like my heart is about to burst out of my chest", Mike gasped.

 

"Yeah... That.... I know that feeling Mike", the other smiled staring at him.

 

"So you do... Isn't it weird? Just months ago I was pining over you, afraid that I would lose my best friend, my band and Anna if I would tell you the truth. I remember the day like it was yesterday, even though it is little bit blurry what actually happened. I remember the feelings. All the rain was so weird... And then... Then I kissed you cause I couldn't just not to. You were so close. Demanding me to answer and tell what was wrong. The worst day if my life, but then it ignited something so beautiful. But I was sure that was it. That it was the end of my life", the emcee reminisced. He could feel now what he had felt then. All the fear accumulating, choking him.

 

"Then you just ignored me. I thought you would have laughed or yelled that I was gross but you didn't. And it made me so mad cause I didn't know what did you think and what should I do. Or should I even do something", he continued and gave in to the arm that was pulling him in.

 

Chester pulled him towards himself, making Mike fall and land his head on his lap. Sinking his fingers into the dark strands he just sat there listening. Knowing that Mike needed to get this off of his chest. It had been so long, and yet still just so little time since the incident. They had both grown a lot as humans. As friends, and as lovers too.

 

"At the studio... I just waited for you to yell that you hate me. Cause that was what I expected. What I thought would happen. And that I could have handled better than the ignoring. Never in a million years would I have believed that you actually love me back. You remember that, right? I didn't even believe you when you kissed me. I thought that was something else. You trying to call me down or so", Mike sighed closing his eyes, enjoying the fingers that raked his hair.

 

"I remember. I was so confused. First I though I shouldn't even say anything. Then I realized that your kiss wasn't probably just a kiss, but there were feelings behind. Then I realized we both were in love but neither of us had wanted to admit it cause of the band and the wives. God it was so awkward", the singer shook his head.

 

"Yeah... And you wanted to move on and forget it. I agreed even though inside I certainly did not agree. As we talked later then agreeing that it wasn't a best decision I was confused. Cause I could finally get what I had wanted for so long, but then there was all the other things to remember too. That we would actually cheat then", Mike mumbled grabbing the other hand that was on his stomach, entwining their fingers and remembering that same moment in the studio when they had first time held hands in secret, not knowing where it would lead.

 

"Later that night my brains were buzzing but then we had the talk with text messages and I honestly felt like a schoolgirl. Getting all giddy. Except that Anna was there, making sure I remembered how wrong it was", he continued.

 

"I remember that. I posted something in Twitter about the studio and then you texted me and it was so weird. I was happy, excited, confused and scared. All that same time. Then I couldn't even sleep properly", Chester chuckled.

 

"That's what it was like. Then you invited yourself over", Mike gasped remembering the tingling excitement then.

 

"Oh my god I remember the kissing then in the kitchen", the singer sighed a pretty smile spreading on his face.

 

"Yeah and I freaked out about us being seen even though I am sure no one could see inside my house. And you were pulling my hair and...", Mike swallowed hard.

 

Chester grinned and tugged the strands, just like he had done then, causing Mike shot his eyes open.

 

"Seriously. Don't do that", Mike gasped biting down to his lip.

 

"Why not? You love it...", the singer smirked but released his grip anyway.

 

The emcee rolled his eyes. "Yeah, exactly cause of that. I was telling you something and now you're distracting me. Besides, you know where that would lead babe."

 

"Well... That's where it did lead then. So do you wanna tell me about that night or...", Chester laughed causing Mike blush now.

 

"Eeeerrm. No. That wasn't really my plan", Mike shook his head smiling and blushing slightly. He took some time to think, before he continued again. "My point with this was... I don't really even know. Like I said, it feels like it was yesterday, but time does goes by so fast. I'm scared of the future, but also excited. I can't wait to see what happens next."

 

"So I am not alone if I say I am scared about what happens tomorrow", the singer said, staring deep into the eyes that were fixed on his.

 

"No. You know... Past, future. This... All that. It's us. What ever comes I'll be there. I'll be here, with you", Mike smiled knowing it was the honest truth.

 

He was happy. It was more than he could have ever hoped for, despite all the mess that they had had to conquer. With love. And he wasn't going to give up. Cause love really could win any obstacles.

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are also greatly appreciated. Check out also my other stories :)


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